A rough day...

A quick bit of history...

I am currently a social worker in an inpatient psych unit. I have BPD and PTSD. I have been highly functional for a couple of years now.

About 3 years ago I attempted suicide due to poor coping with a triggering event. I'm very fortunate i survived multiple organ failure. I am intolerant of medication so far. 20mg of Cymbalta sends me manic. 50mg of Seroquel zombiefies me.

My baseline is hypomanic. The staff finds my baseline "refreshing" to the work environment. When I swing down to "normal", everyone questions what is wrong and the mood of the environment changes.

I'm struggling so hard to deal with such strong waves of emotion I am having presently. I have become a successful at not letting the waves show. I feel like I'm trying to be "normal" while these emotions are anything but...

My wife is worried that I'm suppressing. I'm don't feel that I am. I'm processing them with her.

Anyway, have any of y'all been intolerant of medication? How have you learned to deal with intense emotions?

Wow. I thought I was medication intolerant, but I wouldn't even feel 50 mg of Seroquel. I'm on 300 mg and thinking I need to go to 400. It is hard to get up in the morning, but once I'm up, I'm good to go.

It really does help to have someone sympathetic to talk to when you get overwhelmed. You may actually be suppressing. I know I did when I was depressed. You have to trust your partner and just let go. More than once, my wife just sat with me and comforted me while I had a good cry. I always felt much better afterward. I know that having a good cry at work is sub-optimal, but maybe you can go somewhere private and call her up and let go for a few minutes.

Hope this helps.

Hi Raging, Have tried and am trying other meds, other therapies,etc. Trying to keep up with research in this area also. Have had this identical problem at times, for many years, w certain meds. I wish you all the best!

You all are blessed that you have significant others that you can dialogue with, that used to be true with me, but now, not so much. However, I've changed a good bit to manage the situation, myself. I do have a grown son who has his own MI issues, but he and I have helped each other a lot. And yes, when you feel it coming on at work, but good if you can retreat if possible. I wish you all well!