So, I was laying in bed trying to sleep and thinking of the past when it dawned on me why I have been so anxious and ruminative these past few days. Today is the anniversary of my breakdown. The night I lost the man of my daydreams and was thrown into an abyss of despair that took me 7 months to climb out of and was part of what got me diagnosed bp1 w depression. My life changed forever that night and 7 years later I realize I am still not over it. Its not like I can bake a cake and say happy anniversary. It is a sucky day and I am going to end up spending it alone and that sucks too. Guess I'll be doing a lot of writing today. Thanks for listening.

[Victoria'smom]

can you pamper yourself a little today?

Thanks for the hugs. I should get out of the house and do a couple of things. I wrote out the story in fictionalized form, usually writing helps get stuff out of my head. Usually the anniversary doesn't hit me so hard but this year it just is. Hormones maybe? Who knows. Thank you though!

Oh and I didn't sleep worth crap either but that was my fault, I wanted to wallow in the 'feelings' so didn't take sleep med. I'm an idiot.

OK. SO I've written and written today, I got out of the house for a little bit and now I'm just tired, staying up til 3am is catching up. But I'm over the wallowing. I"m done with this day. I'm ready to go out to dinner and not think about this crap anymore. Done.

[Dylanzmama]

Hope things are better...I just had my anniversary. It can be a hard time.

Today is a new day, I am doing ok. Writing really helps me get things out of my head and I think I wrote all day long yesterday.
I have new things to think about. A new friend to get to know and a wedding to help plan, possibly two. No room for wallowing anymore. I appreciate everyone's support and Dylanzmama, I hope you are doing better also. Hugs to everybody!

Im glad you are doing better.