[A Red Panda]

So I've stayed home today. I haven't thrown up but I'm still feeling quite sick. I'm at my friend's apartment while she's at work so that I can be sick by myself. I also emailed my T last night to tell him that I was sick from the stress of life. He's wondering if it's a side effect of the lamictal, but I've been on this dosage for a few weeks now so I don't know if a side effect would crop up this late? He's going to check for me. We've been emailing back and forth today and I actually find it a lot easier to talk with him that way.

[Moreta]

I am so tired today, but what's new. I have lots of work to do, but I just don't care. I hope I'm not getting depressed. Going down on my Geodon tonight, so we'll see how that goes.

[bumble2u]

Feeling like no matter how i reach. Nothing is there. . don't go 911 don't mess up your kids time. go after go quick. maybe it is best now to drive isn't it. when colours imprint themselves on a yes and no. pretty colours will transcend saying feel the orange on the cortex and embrace every ray of sunlight in the back of your optic nerve. you should be happy to feel autumns last rays. a death knell. no just mine but a blanket quiet. nothing escapes.

[Blue_Bird]

I'm extremely irritable, not sleeping, etc all that stuff. I think I'm headed into mania.

[Phoenix_1]

sleeping lots, getting nothing on my "to do" list done, lazy, can't even find the motivation to take a shower, depressed.

I watched an amazing video produced by itbn about bipolar disorder. They featured 2 people who had full blown bipolar, not bp2 or other. The guy said that he has to change his meds every 4 weeks!
Seriously?!? OMG every 4 weeks? That broke my heart...I don't know if I could do that.
The young girl is in high school and is in good shape NOW but since she had so many outbursts at school, she is still saddled with the stigma of being bipolar.

We have got to stop all the stigma about mental illnesses! We are all beautiful people and we don't deserve to be treated any differently just because we have illnesses others don't understand.

Scared. Last week I saw my therapist and she talked about Community Treatment Orders. I know it has been a rough summer, but I didn't think... I didn't think... I thought I had been holding it together pretty good. I'm scared. I see her again in the morning.

I'm just scared. I have to put my "normal" face on. Sometimes honesty is a mistake when people hold such power.

Slightly anxious about work, I think I would feel better if I had a shower but I dont have time now. Chamomile tea instead then off to start the day.

[RenjiCat]

Well I left the house! I had to get groceries.. I was down to a frozen pizza, 3 cokes, and a package of bacon! I hadn't eaten all day so I thought I'd buy a lot of groceries. NOPE I spent $32 on some fruit, ice cream sandwiches, pound cake, cheez-its, case of cokes, ham, Hawaiian rolls, and stuff to make salad! Nothing of substance! Oh well... at least I can say I did something today!

[Blue_Bird]

Feeling much better than yesterday. I think I was just having a bad day. I still feel stable. I think the problem I'm having is not being on a schedule which is very important for bipolar disorder, or anyone for that matter. I've inadvertently reversed my sleeping schedule where I'm up all night and sleeping throughout the day. I will try to reverse it back today and try to get back on a normal schedule.

[BipolaRNurse]

Steady as a rock, never felt more balanced in my life! Wish I could be like this without taking meds, but I also wish I could be 120 lbs and look 20 years younger and have millions of dollars. NONE of which is in the cards. Heh.

Haven't been sleeping much for some time now. Not at all tired, don't go to sleep... before 2:30 uncommon, latest was a couple of days of 4:30. And up for work 2 hours later. Funny. BF noted the whole starting trend early on. For me, just in the last 3 days it's really dawned. Before that is was, "pfffft". But then the stuff that gets my attention more....Among other things, some intense agitated stuff with bizarre extreme and impulsive thoughts the last couple of days. And realizing how much I've been thinking about giving myself a major middle-of-the-night haircut.... Yeah, seems he's right. Have an appt. tomorrow. We'll see. Except for the spells of heavy agitation, being able to get stuff done is pretty handy at this particular juncture. As long as the agitation and irritability don't start getting too much though...
And seeing some things has been a little unsettling. Small stuff, but too often to go unnoticed. Don't really need that.

[Anika.]

Sorry IZ,

Well that kinda sucks...yes. agitation is my worst nightmare. I hope that settles down and you get some sleeeeeep. That might help take care of seeing things too. Even if it means getting less done and um no middle of the night chop chops.

It's funny because often I would be like whyyyyy whhhhy am I seeing things climbing out of my hot water tank... never considering I had no slept for a week. That was probably some deceptive work on my part because I did not want to face sleeping for whatever reasons I came up with.

And I am with you, at least in the sleep department. It's not happening much. Otherwise seem ok, nothing funky climbing out of my closets. Just general lack of sleep, not getting particulary a lot done either...so must be fine..kinda seems like a crappy trade off now that I think about.

I hope your app tomorrow goes well. Miss seeing you here and I hope you will be feeling better soon. And gosh don't you hate it sometimes when bf's are right and see it first. My bf has become my pms radar, gone are the days of marking a calander.

having lots of bad thoughts today (most of them about ending it all) and about how badly i'm treated by people

i also just got an email from someone who randomly asked me about my sister.. which like, is freaking me out- i'm thinking well.... who do i know in america that's called bill?. hmm... longest 2 hours of my life while i wait for his response to say how he knows me- and if he knows me. it may be nothing

hope everyone has a great day

[AnxietyGirl916]

Lots of intrusive thoughts lately. Mostly about ending it. I'd never act on it (I hate to disappoint people), but it's consuming me. I picture all these situations of my demise. My job is super stressful and I just can't handle it anymore. I'm so stressed that I was actually seeing stars yesterday. I'm tired of feeling like a zombie with my meds. I want to quit but hubby is reluctant to have such a drastic decrease in income. Maybe if he knew what was really going on in my head, he'd grant me a reprieve.

[Moreta]

I feel kinda horrible today. Went down on Geodon last night, woke up shaking this morning. Man, I hate coming off meds.

[Moose72]

I spent the night at the hospital with my son so he could do a sleep study. Now we're home. Feeling okay. My pdoc says everything with my meds is where it should be though we could go up on zyprexa but we can't change meds as I've tried all the meds ìn this class. We haven't tried Haldol or any typicals, though! Now I have to deal with another pregnant pdoc. Last one was pregnant too, though she's had her baby now, she's the ex pdoc.

Wow, I'm totally feeling that my depression has lifted. What a relief! Now some continued "normalcy" mental health-wise would be great. Too bad my fibromyalgia has worsened over the past two days. It's literally been a trade-off: disabling depression gone, somewhat disabling (and anxiety-provoking) fibromyalgia returns. How about remission of both - - that's what I'm shooting for.

[Phoenix_1]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Feeling much better than yesterday. I think I was just having a bad day. I still feel stable. I think the problem I'm having is not being on a schedule which is very important for bipolar disorder, or anyone for that matter. I've inadvertently reversed my sleeping schedule where I'm up all night and sleeping throughout the day. I will try to reverse it back today and try to get back on a normal schedule.

I was totally reversed last January. Slept all day and was up all night. I wasn't working and had no schedule. My T told me to go to bed one hour later every day until I got back to sleeping at night and being awake all day. I also used an alarm clock do I wouldn't over sleep. It worked ! I hope this helps you.

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[Phoenix_1]

Originally Posted by Phoenix_1

I was totally reversed last January. Slept all day and was up all night. I wasn't working and had no schedule. My T told me to go to bed one hour later every day until I got back to sleeping at night and being awake all day. I also used an alarm clock so I wouldn't over sleep. It worked ! I hope this helps you.

Sent from my Note 2 using Tapatalk 4

Sent from my Note 2 using Tapatalk 4

[Phoenix_1]

Sorry about the double post. I guess you can't edit a post from your phone. I'm getting more depressed. I got up at noon. I have things to do but can't bear the idea of leaving my apartment today. Maybe tomorrow will be better. I need to pick up my prescriptions by tomorrow at the latest.

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[Blackberryrocks11]

Battling the flu today. Gaaack, feels like a certain death to limbs, foggy head etceteras. Reminds me of the good old days (not) while I was doped up.

Otherwise feeling fine. Wishing you all a good rest of the day.

[LadyShadow]

Feeling a bit tired. Was a manic night last night, stayed up till 8am. I hope I get back to a normal sleeping schedule soon.

[RenjiCat]

I'm actually ok today! I'm almost scared to say that.. I've been soooo depressed that I was on the verge of a hospital stay but today I feel OK! Now if I can just get my sleep back to normal... I was up until 7:30am this morning.. I may try sleeping in the bed tonight- I've been sleeping on the couch since my boyfriend left 3 weeks ago.

[Phoenix_1]

I made it to the store to pick up my prescriptions and also bought bread and milk. I went because I was mad and had to work off some energy. In fact I'm still mad. At my on again off again boyfriend, who else.

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