[sprik]

Does any one else get this? If I can get my brain to stop running on and on. Sometimes my brain will start this kind of worrying thing, something will all sudden start bugging me, something is real wrong, I have to figure it out, or I will go crazy, Im having a difficult time feeling the feeling. Its horrible, I cant control it. I start thinking, obsessing , retracing my steps from the day for hours. I start thinking from the moment I got up to the present moment trying to think of everything I did, I said, everything I needed to do, what I might of been worrying about, what I needed to do tomorrow, what other people did, said. I cant stop until DING!!!!! it clicks!!!!!! that is what was bugging me.....It could of been something important, something stupid, something I was really worrying about prior. It is extremely mentally hard on me. I really hope it isn't starting back up again, it went away for awhile. Does anyone else experience this? Is it ocd? Anxiety?

[AnxietyGirl916]

I don't think it's OCD. People with OCD need to do rituals to help alleviate the anxiety, such as flipping the light switch 20 times or they'll check the oven 5 times before they leave the house because of the fear of the house burning down.

[Trippin2.0]

According to my previous pdoc, it definitely can be OCD actually. There's what people call Pure O, or OCPD. Where the focal point is the obsession not the compulsion. The compulsions are what anxiety girl is referring to, obsessing is most commonly a certain thought process or train of thought that plays on a loop and drives us batty. I have that*sigh, been one hellava week obsessing about how I behaved poorly toward bf, obsessing about how to make it right. Apologizing, re-apologizing, playing everything over and over it drove me up the wall! But I had zero control, headphones, reading, singing, they provided little relief, meditation was impossible. At one point I thought that cutting myself open would make the thoughts seep out instead of loop around for days The only compulsion I had along with these looping repetitive crazy-making thoughts was explaining myself. I drove him nuts with re-explaining I think, so I explained myself in a journal instead. Doesn't matter that he won't see it, I needed to write it I guess.
Thank goodness my mind cleared up yesterday.
So far so good

[Victoria'smom]

There are several types of OCD myself I have the contamination type.

[Trippin2.0]

Thanks MM As a teen I washed my feet 6x a day, It was't fear driven though, I wanted perfect feet and believed pampering them for hours would achieve that goal I slowly but surely weaned myself off of the compulsion though. Now I just have the rumination and intrusive thoughts. The statement about indulging really hit home for me, as it only stops when it stops. 5 days of unrelenting hell this past week has exhausted me. I forgot just how bad it gets and am really grateful its not an everyday hell I have to contend with, and really feel for the people who struggle with any type daily.

[A Red Panda]

That was an interesting read MM!

I've definitely always had traits of OCD, but not enough for ever being diagnosed. The reason why is because I resist a lot of it. I'm a counter - I count stairs. Fortunately it's not to such an extent that I would have to walk back down if I missed one - because if I'm talking to someone it's ok to miss a count. I also have to almost-crack an egg 9 times before I can actually crack it - why? Who the eff knows but it's how I roll.

Mostly though I'm a ruminator and an orderly person. I freak out nearly daily because my flat isn't as tidy and clean as I want it to be. The thing that makes it NOT OCD is that despite feeling distressed and unhappy - I refuse to let myself constantly fix everything. If I did, I'd never stop. So I don't. It's sort of a self-punishment now... if I'm behind on X or not happy or something... cleaning isn't allowed. Who knows how this actually works in my brain, but it's how it is.

Um I think I just rambled a bit. That might not have made sense.

[choocha]

Hi. I have it too. I spend hours re-living whole conversations and interpersonal situations, looking for things that went wrong, so I can fix them. It is to do with a fear of rejection, failure &/or abandonment. Because we have experienced any of these in the past we try to guard against it re-occurring now. We think if we can pick up problems at an early stage that we can solve it and stop it from continuing. I don't think it's OCD, well not the conventional OCD anyway. It could be more to do with your constant need to over-analyse everything, which you may be doing to try to take back control of what you feel out of control in ie the world, yourself, your life, others etc. Does this make sense? I hope so.
Anyway, you are not alone. I do it too. You just need to try to understand why you do it and learn to gradually decrease doing it. Your time can be used so much more productively.
Good luck and take care. Have you told your T about this? They may be able to give you some tips on stopping the behaviour.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

That was an interesting read MM!

I've definitely always had traits of OCD, but not enough for ever being diagnosed. The reason why is because I resist a lot of it. I'm a counter - I count stairs. Fortunately it's not to such an extent that I would have to walk back down if I missed one - because if I'm talking to someone it's ok to miss a count. I also have to almost-crack an egg 9 times before I can actually crack it - why? Who the eff knows but it's how I roll.

Mostly though I'm a ruminator and an orderly person. I freak out nearly daily because my flat isn't as tidy and clean as I want it to be. The thing that makes it NOT OCD is that despite feeling distressed and unhappy - I refuse to let myself constantly fix everything. If I did, I'd never stop. So I don't. It's sort of a self-punishment now... if I'm behind on X or not happy or something... cleaning isn't allowed. Who knows how this actually works in my brain, but it's how it is.

Um I think I just rambled a bit. That might not have made sense.

Makes perfect sense L
Defiance is exactly how I combatted most of my traits. Yes the foot washing got out of hand, but I defied the counting and fixation with even numbers. Both which I can remember indulging in since the age of 8 atleast.

Defiance, control freakenism and back to front punishment is how I combat most of my mental battles actually. I don't feel so alone since you joined you know. I always thought maybe people here don't think I really battle because I'm able to fight effectively in certain situations, or by me posting about how I cope others may think I'm preaching mind over matter and that I'm belittling their experiences....

I'm glad I'm not alone in my methods.

[sprik]

I glad to hear others feel this too. I do this when I am stressed, I just realized. I constantly over analyse everything to, and worry about everything I say. I also agree it could be away to punish ourselves and not realize we are doing it. I agreed with everyone, you guys really help me think about it. Yes, I will talk to my T, she is pretty good, I'm sure she will have some good suggestions, I will share the good ones. Thanks

[A Red Panda]

Sppppeaaakkkiiinnnng of OCDishness...

Today my T gave me his DBT book and told me to go through his sticky notes and pick out what exercizes I was willing to try (after bursting out laughing at the idea of imaging my diaphram breathing as looking like a balloon...). I have to pick at least 5.

So he gave it to me. He joked and said that he was sure I'd bring it back with the sticky notes all reorganized.

I'm not sure if that was meant to deter me from doing it, or to encourage me to do it, or just a simple observation on my desire to organize.

I've taken it as a challenge. And have just spent 3 hours organizing it. I just need to get my sticky notes from work.

1st: I went through each of his stickies based on colour (wanted to see if he had any pattern to them). So one page was "Green" another "pink" and "yellow". I'd write down the page number and the heading. (This was done in Green Ink)
Conclusion: I think he did Pink ones as starting things, Green as the middle things he's been trying with me, and Yellow are more complicated things that he hasn't tried with me.

2nd Step: Thought about my own categories of the stuff he had and broke them into "Things to Talk About in Session" "Lists of things" "Exercises to do in Sessions" "Worksheets". Again, I went through each colour first and then next to the heading I'd put either (e) (l) (t) or (ws). (This was done in Red Ink)
Result: I added a few new stickies of things that I think he would find useful to have stickied. Including two Exercizes that I'm willing to try that he didn't have stickied.

3rd Step: I'd noticed that some of the stickies were on the back of the page, which would require me to pay attention when labelling the sticky. I went through and found those pages and put a * next to the page number. (This was done in Blue Ink)

4th Step: I got out new pieces of paper and Labelled them "Exercize" "Talk" "Lists" and "Worksheets". I then organized them like that, making sure I wrote down the pages in order. (This was done in Black Ink). Also relabelled the *s in blue for the back of the page stickies.

5th Step: Got a new piece of paper and wrote down the Exercizes I'm willing to try. (Putting a (c) next to the ones that I thought were challenging, and a (x) next to the ones that I had added on my own. (This was done in Red Ink).

6th Step: I went through each page of the book to see if there was anything else that I thought should also have a sticky
Conclusion: No thanks, they're not in the same topic area that he's working on with me.

7th Step: Count all the stickies and all the pages I wrote down to make sure I didn't miss any.
Conclusion: Good job me, there's 33 stickies (including new ones to be added) in each list.

Plan for tomorrow when I have my stickies:
1) Stickies near the Top of the book: Talking Subjects (as they'd likely be done first)
2) Next ones: Lists (as they get talked about too)
3) Exercizes (as we do those together)
4) At the bottom: Worksheets as those I will eventually get stuck with on my own.
5) Challenges I'm willing to do will go along the top of the book, not down the side like the others.
6) Ensure that all 33 stickies will have space to go down the page and fit.

Each of those will be a different colour.

Final step: bring in the original pages with his colour-coding in case he wants to put it back the way he had it.

I've spent I think 3 hours doing that tonight? (also been chatting online and stuff, but still...)

I can relate, I have OCD also. The constant worrying/obsessing is the easy part for me to deal with. I write, a lot, and then go through and look at my thought patterns. If their are cognitive distortions there then I write a new sentence with a positive (or at least neutral) tone. I then write down a positive affirmation to counter what ever the root problem is and repeat this to myself over and over. Sometimes I need to do it every few minutes but eventually (sometimes after hours) the obsessing thought goes away. The pdocs have given me the option to up my meds to deal with this but I feel its something I need to learn to cope with.

Its the intrusive thoughts I have more difficulty with. What are some techniques people use for intrusive thoughts?

[Diane1980]

Yes I know exactly how you feel. I get this feeling of excessive worry and guilt, I"m always thinking there's something I forgot to do. Then I won't rest till I figure it out, and like you it may of been something small, but it may of been something really important I forgot to do. My doctor said I have OCD tendancies. But that feels like anxiety is a bi-product of the obsessing, and I know I have a bad memory and poor focus so there's a good chance my worries are justified (in my own head). I try to remain focused with important tasks, taking a mental photo of what I'm doing, so later on when I suddenly think 'oh did I remember to do that' I can see it and say yes that's right, I did. I am still struggling though.

[sprik]

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

Sppppeaaakkkiiinnnng of OCDishness...

Today my T gave me his DBT book and told me to go through his sticky notes and pick out what exercizes I was willing to try (after bursting out laughing at the idea of imaging my diaphram breathing as looking like a balloon...). I have to pick at least 5.

So he gave it to me. He joked and said that he was sure I'd bring it back with the sticky notes all reorganized.

I'm not sure if that was meant to deter me from doing it, or to encourage me to do it, or just a simple observation on my desire to organize.

I've taken it as a challenge. And have just spent 3 hours organizing it. I just need to get my sticky notes from work.

1st: I went through each of his stickies based on colour (wanted to see if he had any pattern to them). So one page was "Green" another "pink" and "yellow". I'd write down the page number and the heading. (This was done in Green Ink)
Conclusion: I think he did Pink ones as starting things, Green as the middle things he's been trying with me, and Yellow are more complicated things that he hasn't tried with me.

2nd Step: Thought about my own categories of the stuff he had and broke them into "Things to Talk About in Session" "Lists of things" "Exercises to do in Sessions" "Worksheets". Again, I went through each colour first and then next to the heading I'd put either (e) (l) (t) or (ws). (This was done in Red Ink)
Result: I added a few new stickies of things that I think he would find useful to have stickied. Including two Exercizes that I'm willing to try that he didn't have stickied.

3rd Step: I'd noticed that some of the stickies were on the back of the page, which would require me to pay attention when labelling the sticky. I went through and found those pages and put a * next to the page number. (This was done in Blue Ink)

4th Step: I got out new pieces of paper and Labelled them "Exercize" "Talk" "Lists" and "Worksheets". I then organized them like that, making sure I wrote down the pages in order. (This was done in Black Ink). Also relabelled the *s in blue for the back of the page stickies.

5th Step: Got a new piece of paper and wrote down the Exercizes I'm willing to try. (Putting a (c) next to the ones that I thought were challenging, and a (x) next to the ones that I had added on my own. (This was done in Red Ink).

6th Step: I went through each page of the book to see if there was anything else that I thought should also have a sticky
Conclusion: No thanks, they're not in the same topic area that he's working on with me.

7th Step: Count all the stickies and all the pages I wrote down to make sure I didn't miss any.
Conclusion: Good job me, there's 33 stickies (including new ones to be added) in each list.

Plan for tomorrow when I have my stickies:
1) Stickies near the Top of the book: Talking Subjects (as they'd likely be done first)
2) Next ones: Lists (as they get talked about too)
3) Exercizes (as we do those together)
4) At the bottom: Worksheets as those I will eventually get stuck with on my own.
5) Challenges I'm willing to do will go along the top of the book, not down the side like the others.
6) Ensure that all 33 stickies will have space to go down the page and fit.

Each of those will be a different colour.

Final step: bring in the original pages with his colour-coding in case he wants to put it back the way he had it.

I've spent I think 3 hours doing that tonight? (also been chatting online and stuff, but still...)

wow, u r organized!!!!! I bet he has speech to do and needed your research hahahahah I'm just kidding. We all have to laugh at ourselves sometimes. Im trying cbt, I wish I could get into it like that. Did all those stickies help you or were you ocd about it?

[A Red Panda]

Ok. So. Operation: Sticky Notes is complete!

The Beginning: (Bob was helping. By stealing my pens. I was, at the time, writing my lists and didn't need the book. But this is how the sticky notes started - WHAT A MESS!



This is the sticky note I left inside as a joke. And you can see Bob's contribution to the book. (Little jerkface LEFT BITEMARKS IN THE BOOK!!!!)



And this is the final result!



Whereupon you can see that Bob SHOVED HIMSELF into the photo as it was flashing. And my little re-sticky pile which I organized and colour coordinated as I took out his stickies.

Red: "Talking" topics
Orange: "Lists"
Green: "Exercises for in Sessions" (like visualizations and meditations)
Blue: Worksheets

Along the top:
Yellow = Ones I'm willing to try that I don't think I'll TOTALLY crack up laughing at.
Pink: These will be a challenge but the easiest ones that I think are totally ridiculous.

And yes... I find organizing it really helped my thought-process, as I was paying attention to what was where and so I actually did look at all the exercizes he stickied. Don't remember it all right now, but I did pick out the ones that I think I'll be the most successful at.