[Victoria'smom]

Both my husband and I are still in weird spots but calm enough at times to seriously sit down and re-evaluate our houses safety, when, how and who calls/gets help. We have discovered that we are to loyal to each other to really voice our concerns, or recognize our concerns to our mental health team. How do we fix us not realizing when we are not in a good place and need help? Or when we have to call the other persons t/pdoc for them?

[A Red Panda]

Why don't you each make your own list about yourself?

Like...

"When I do any of the following then you need to call my T:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5." And make various outlines. Maybe a few things you would want him to call the pdoc immediately. Maybe others are lighter signs and might just need your H to pay more attention. Maybe when you start doing X or Y you want to make sure that Miguel gets checked in on.

Then it wouldn't be your H making the decision for you - you will have made the decision while stable, and he's just following your instructions. It would be the same for him. You wouldn't make the phone calls unless the things on the list dictated it (of course, you both need to agree with the other's list and it would probably help for your Ts to go over them to see if they're a good list.

[Victoria'smom]

We already have are crisis plans that list symptoms and time/amount limits but neither of us seem to be able / willing to convey or recognize severity.

[A Red Panda]

Ahh. What do your crisis plans look like? Is there a way to make them more specific so that it could be easier to go "ok, I need to phone now"?

If neither of you are willing to make the calls when you each know they need to be made.. maybe it's time to have more regular visits with the T at least? (how often do you go? Sorry... I'm really not in the greatest headframe so I have pretty much zero memory of anything I've read in the past about your family!)

[Confusedinomicon]

You usually post here when you are concerned about husband. Everytime you post, print out the first post/thread and give it to t. Or use the post as an indicator that you need to talk to t for him.

[Victoria'smom]

Confusedinomicon- that is a good idea. Now if I could only post when he's concerned for me

A Red Panda-

My crisis Plan

1. The following symptoms indicate I can no longer make decisions for my self, that I'm no longer able to be responsible for my choices or to make appropriate choices:

• inability to recognize or identify close friends and family
• Extreme Agitation for more then 4 days
• neglecting hygiene for more then 4 days
  
• not cooking/cleaning (cooking include the ability to get fast-food) when no other adult is willing/able to for more then 4 days
• Not understanding what people are saying for more then 4 days
• thinking I'm someone I'm not for 2 days
• Thinking I have the ability to do something I can not for 2 days
• displaying violent, abusive, or destructive behavior, towards self, others, or property for 4 days or 2 SI acts within 2 weeks
• Abusing drugs/alcohol excluding pot
• not getting out of bed for longer then 4 days
• Refusing to eat or drink ANYTHING for over 2 days
• not sleeping at all for more then 3 days

2. When I clearly have some the symptoms above , I want the following people to make decitions for me: XXXX, XXXX, XXXX, XXXX, in that order

3. I do not want the following people involved in any capacity in my care or treatment. XXXX,XXXX,XXXX, XXXX

4. People who can not visit me: Anyone can visit me

5. Preferred medication any why? XXXXX, XXXX, XXXX,

6. Acceptable medication and why? Any weight neutral sort term medication

7. Unacceptable medication and why? Weight gaining medication because of later non compliance.

8 Acceptable treatment and why? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

9 Unacceptable treatment and why? XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

10. preferred treatment facility and why? XXXXXXXXXX, or closest facility to my husband and son

11. What I want my supporters to do? call pdoc and T

12. How I want disagreement between supporters to be settled? Pdoc & Husband

13. I give/do not give permission for my supporters to talk to each other about my symptoms and make plans to assist me.

14. Indicators that supporters no longer need to use this plan: when Pdoc, T, Husband and I decide.

The reason why some of the things are so low is If I am not willing to do those things before the more than # knowing that pdoc and T will be called then that's an indicator things are bad.

Because of my insurance and the facility I can only go to my T every 10-14 days and I see my pdoc 1x a month. Our family t can only see us 1x time a month. We use to stagger my appointment and my husbands appointment so we were there every week. Seeing 1 of our T's every weeks and a pdoc every 2 wks but we don't have the gas $ for that. So now we leave the house 1x every 2 wks. For about 6 hrs.