[venusss]

I need more love, for myself and the others and the world.

To stop thinking everybody is up to something evil and conspiratory and see a beauty in them. After all, these two aren't contradictory.

I need to let myself be vulnerable more and not act like I am visiting some sketch part of sketch town in sketch country... this is not what this existence should be about. I need to reality check on my paranoia and "everything is dystopic" feeling. I don't need to wrap up myself in emotional shield as if I was going to a freaking war zone.

I will need to be manicky enough but not too manicky when buying things to my new place (I need kitchen appliances and no need to be jewish about it and buy the cheapest. I don't need a huge cat statues, lava lamps, decorative bird cages, globes, starry sky stimulators and vintage trunks. I absolutelly don't need anything in Provance style and need to remember it would look stupid in my tiny and new condo).

And I need to let myself enjoy the shallow things. It doesn't make me a bad person.

[vjdragonfly]

Very well said, now to put it into motion. Rooting for ya!!!

some hugs to get you started:

(((((((((hugs))))))

[~Christina]

Sounds like a really good plan.. and sounds exciting ! Enjoy

[Victoria'smom]

Can you plan everything you want to buy before you leave. I'm hoping your able to let go a little paranoia and start enjoying where you live.

[LadyShadow]

Good luck to you! Here are some hugs too...

((((hugs))))

[venusss]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Can you plan everything you want to buy before you leave. I'm hoping your able to let go a little paranoia and start enjoying where you live.

I have some pre-plan, but I need kinda *everything* esp. for kitchen.... and apparently, kitchen appliances exite more then shoes do I am taking some old stuff from where I live now... but most of stuff I need to buy, hence i need to unlimit my card for first time since I gotten it. Will be interesting. I think I will take somebody reasonable to go with me.

And as for the other stuff.... I will try to be more loving and lovable. Although cynical beyotch is a fun act. I just need to let myself enjoy things more. And not feel guilty for having a good time doing "shallower" stuff than pondering about impact of globalization and reading up on Kaballah or whatnot. Maybe everything is not matter of life and death and far gone consequences.

[anneo59]

The best to you, Venus. sounds like a good plan for sure! Hope you can bring more joy into your life. I have done some of this before with home purchases, but always have to prioritize and be pretty strict w myself, personally. sometimes more than evers. Helps??!! that I'm married, I think, most of the time. The best, my friend!