[lostinpdx]

So I guess I'm looking for some advice here...trying not to be too hard on myself so I guess I'm looking for some confirmation that I'm being reasonable..

Long story as short as possible: was released from the hospital after a 5 day hold because I took too much Xanax (didn't want to OD, just sleep...had been up 4 days) night before I was released, my husband dropped the divorce bomb on me. 8 year sexless marriage, I was a manic mess most of it anyway...we didn't have chemistry. But I was a good wife (as good as I could be, stopped myself from an affair 3 weeks before this all happened)...well now I'm finalizing a divorce. Since the day I was released, I have been stalking one of my best guy friends I've known has always had a crush on me. And now I'm onto his cousin...yikes I know. I'm moving to las vegas in 3-4 weeks to live w/ my brother & sisters so it's kind of like now or never ya know? They both know I'm not looking for a relationship so we're all on the same page. I know my psych would say I'm hypomanic but I love this feeling! I actually feel self confidence again :-) Should I feel like I need to medicate this away? I am being safe, getting the IUD & protection & all that. Where does the mania stop & being a sexuallly repressed divorcee begin?

PLEASE HELP because I trust you guys...thanks

I'm not sure I could find a line there but the problem with having sex for women is that we often 'fall in love' with who ever we have sex with, even if we think we are just 'playing'. I did that with a real life guy...thought I just wanted a playmate because hub was gone (had actually moved out of state for his job), I was gangbusters after this guy, we had been friends for a long time then after the one night we had sex, he decided to break it off, that's when I figured out I'd been fooling myself on the friends part. I went off the deep end into a mixed episode after the manic ended and ended up in the hospital. So my best advice is just to be careful. It might be really fun and nothing come of it and you move off to vegas with great memories. Or you have fun, move to vegas and find you really want to come back to the guy and who knows if that would really work out since you might be doing this out of the hypomanic repressed divorcee mode? Or you go to your psych and tell them you're hypomanic and you need to come down off it before you get yourself hurt because you've already been hurt by hub with the divorce papers, even if its good riddance...it still stings.

[gayleggg]

Yes, I remember days like that. I agree with emomom. You could have been describing me when you said you were after one guy and then you found another one and it would exciting to have sex with either or both. That was me in one hypomanic state except I was much worse. I fell for one that was married and committed(immediately sorry he did it and it showed on his face) I was deflated and for the first time in my life I started cutting myself. Then went on a man bender. It wound me into a hospital for 10 days. Where I met another to have "just sex" with, of course I wound up getting emotionally entangled and got my heart broken again. This is a warning of what and how bad things can get. There is more to the story but I think I gave you enough to get the picture. See you doctor and get medicated before you go off the edge like I did. Best wishes. PM me if you have any questions.

[mzunderstood79]

I know personally (without detail) what is going on. I have times when I feel like a sex goddess or something and I ......well, lets just say I know, but without the divorce papers. My husband doesn't know about all of my indiscretions and I can't ever find a way to tell him because I don't want to hurt him. And this may be crazy but I LOVE him and couldn't last a day without him.....

[RenjiCat]

I understand where you're coming from.

After 10 years of marriage I demanded a divorce. We separated and I too decided to have some "fun". I was safe..had an IUD..took precautions... I never got attached. I felt GREAT, desirable for the first time in years! But I had too much fun (as odd as that sounds). I slept with many inappropriate men (boss's son and married men). It lasted about three months. I justified it at the time telling myself that this is just what people do after a divorce. That was the worst manic episode I ever had! When the mania stopped I realized what I had done and how destructive I really was being and I became suicidal... I ended up in the mental hospital.

I can't give you advice... but I wish you the best!

[Skittles56]

There is more to being hypersexual than a sexual attraction to a couple of guys. The mania may be responsible for you acting on it when it is harmful to your relationships with others, particularly a spouse.

If you had said that you had sex with four guys, or six guys, or ten or whatever for no apparent reason other than that you wanted it, I would call that hypersexual.

I became hypersexual during a manic episode a few years ago. I wanted to have sex with every female I met. I don't mean idle speculation that a lot of guys have when meeting a female. I mean raging, all out, gotta have it now horny. I ended up sleeping with a co-worker and seeing prostitutes. I alienated several female friends. I masturbated constantly. I wouldn't be inclined to characterize anything less than that as hypersexual.

I'm sorry I don't think this is hypersexuality. When i am manic I can't keep track of the number of liaisions I have. There is no emotional attachment in it for me at all.

I think you have to also think of hypersexuality in context with hypomanic or manic behavior, not all by itself and the number of partners one has. I dont care to go into details of all of the things I have done but definitely there is goal oriented behavior, risk of painful consequences, heightened energy, sense of invincibility, the whole gamut of the maniccy behaviors.

In this case its hard to say... If I was in a sexless marriage for 8 years, I'd be out on the town looking to hook up regardless of if I was manic or stable.

I definitely have experienced hypersexuality in the past, never had an issue with attachment, some of the boys did though haha. Nowdays I know I have a high sex drive but it doesnt feel the same as my hypomanic hypersexuality. I just like sex.