Mixed episode

yea. I'm going through my first ever mixed state and it's the worst. i live at home with my parents and they are trying to stay out of my way. i have no idea in hell how i'm pulling A's on my tests at school. i have no idea. it's like my insane self clocks out and someone else with a brain comes in, takes care of my ****, and then i come back and go. wow. an A. how'd that happen, i wish i was there. my cylces are ultrarydian(?) - and i snap at random strangers...i try to control it....so it just comes off as super rude instead of flat out anger...i dropped a piece of paper and i was busy putting my hair up to stop and pick it up so a nice, innocent man (poor guy, i feel so bad) asked "Is this yours?" and started to bend down. and i said "I got it" --thinking just leave me alone don't touch my ****...even though if its all over the floor -- but he kept bending down...so i kind of yelled "I got it!" again ( i never even looked at him this whole time, i don't even know what he looks like...jesus christ...this sucks...)
...and he replied "ok, jesus...sorry!" God i feel bad...i never do that. i've never done that. ****...sigh. I've been in a mixed state since the beginning of September and it hasn't let up or anything. i only take depakote 1000mg right now (JUST started on meds so it takes a bit to introduce meds for me since i'm sensitive to meds) and 90% of the time i'm just tired, unmotivated, depressed and pissed off. with occaisional random spurts of good feel energy. i freakin' hate this. this state sucks. i hate it. and NOW... as of these pat three days? i'm finding it impossible to sleep - any recomendations on taking a benedryl to go to sleep or bad idea? - sorry for the rant. i don't know anyone in real life who would want to listen to this....so it's to the virtual world i turn. again. sigh.

Hi jesonpiano
whoa, you take me back...and I don't miss those days...I graduated with a 4.0 despite being in the mental hospital twice...worse couple years of my life...don't know how I did it...but I got those damn A's....hehe. I was prescribed sleep meds to help me thru those sleepless nights, so benedryl should be safe. otherwise talk to pdoc about something other than Depakote cause it isn't doing the job for you. Haldol worked fantastic for me. Hope you come down soon. Take care.

I keep trying to get my drs to give me Haldol but they say no- "Zyprexa for you!"

Hi,

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I take Depakote but my pdoc also prescribed something to help me sleep. Perhaps you could call your Dr and get a script. I wish you the very best.

Jan

I am sooooooooooooo sorry you are feeling like this. You sound exactly like me. Get help now, you seem young, forgive me if I am incorrect. Don't wait until you are 30 to get help and try to drink it away..........

Hey. I'm sorry... So haldol works great, I never did we'll w depakote. In fact I found it difficult to find energy to even walk up stairs on it. But was also on a lot of seroquel. Haldol, works, but it's best only when it's bad to get u out of that state after a month or a few weeks u can develop massively adverse unpleasant side effects... Prob why it's mostly doled out in the hospital then continued temporarily. Yeah, def take a Benadryl!, I take vistaril which is a non addictive histamine class drug but requires prescription, and is for sleep panic anxiety etc etc, also can be used as mild antipsychotic. No addictive qualities. Only taken as needed. Just sayin yes. Def talk to ur doc. It's terrible to feel that way.