I saw my Psychiatrist today and I was upset. Upset that I have little control over my bipolar when I'm faced with STRESS.

I also was blaming myself for my Mom's kidney failure. If I could have just figured it out she wouldn't be sick. It isn't rational. He said that it is because I am grieving her loss, but I haven't lost her yet. I was assuming it was just a bipolar symptom. Maybe not.

Has anyone else ever suffered like they lost a loved one, before they lost them?

i'm kind of feeling that with my nan at the moment.

because of her dimentia, and how out of it she is, i feel like i've lost her.. as she has no idea who we even are

i think this is probably the first time i've had something you're describing- i can't think of any previous experiences

[Moose72]

I keep anticipating my dad's loss even though I talk to him on the phone and he's still around. He sounds bad though. Bad respiratory thing that won't go away plus he's an alcoholic.

[gayleggg]

I felt that way about my mom and then 2 years later with my dad. They have both since actually died. I can see their tombstone from my kitchen window. I often still talk to them. And often still cry about not having them anymore. So no you are not alone.

[BipolaRNurse]

My husband was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer this summer. For a while there it looked like he was going to be dead within a few weeks or months, but he has rallied and is in fact doing very well. But we treasure every single day we have, for we don't know if/when the cancer will go completely out of control. So yes, I know what it is to grieve in anticipation of loss.....it's awful.