[KatiePillar]

Do you believe that 2 people who have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder can be together? Or will their disorder just destroy everything?

[Victoria'smom]

Yes I feel that 2 people with bipolar can have a good relationship with out the disorder killing it. I'll write when I wake up.

[IndieVisible]

Lasted 6 months for me. My girlfriend was like 10 times worse then me. She got to be totally out of control. I am no where near as severe as her. I met her in the early stages of her manic episode so I didn't think nothing but she soon got to be extremely manic in 2 weeks and the cat was out of the bag by then. I also seen her in a verry depressed state. That girl gained weight when she was depressed and dropped it all when she was manic. We both had great times and not so great times. Each of us getting arrested off and on. Needless to say neither one of us were good for each other because were both but but she was way badder then me lol. I had a friend spend the nite at my aprtment because he got in a fight with his wife. I let him crash there as long as he needed to. Well one nite I asked if he wanted to go out drinking with me, he was too tired and passed. Ok I get back around 2:00am and there are like 20 cop cars in front of my apartment outside with dogs combing my yard! I pulled in the drive way and Mike that was my friends name was visibly up set ran up to me. I ask what the hell is going on? He said Debbie, that was her name and I knew this was going to be pretty bad cuz she totally out of control and manic then and I was trying to stay away. He told me he was laying down on the couch ready to doze off and he hears glass break and Deb storms in with a hand gun looking for me. She was supposedly very mad at me. All I did was not go over to see her for a couple of days or return her calls. She apparently broke the glass on my door and let herself in. Mike and her were friends too and Mike was always saying I was exaggerating how bad she was. He knew better then. This is prolly not typical because we were both you and wild with bipolar and liked to party hardy. I hope it's not typical. I'm afraid my story is not very good. I doubt I would get mixed up in another relationship with another bipolar girl. It did however make me rethink how I was living!

I just remembered on time I spent the nite over her place. I was sleeping on her bed and some tickled my chest and I woke up and there was Deb sitting on the bed with a stake knife in her hand. I look at the knife and then her then she looks at the knife and then me and laughs and says, it's not what it looks like. I came in to wake you up for breakfast. I will never forget that girl

[BipolaRNurse]

Miguel's Mom and her spouse are a good example of a bipolar relationship that works. I don't know how they do it, but I admire them both!

Me, I couldn't handle being married to someone like myself. I need a rock to cling to when I'm in choppy seas, so to speak, and my husband fits that bill perfectly. He can stay rational when I'm being ridiculsous, and he's comforting when I'm down on myself. But more importantly, he can take charge when I'm utterly incapable of even paying a bill or talking to someone on the phone......nope, I wouldn't do well at all if I were married to another BP'er.

[medicalfox]

I personally couldn't date someone with bipolar. Like bipolaRNurse, I need someone who is constantly stable to help me when I'm not at my best. I need more help and care than most girls my age so I'm fortunate that I found the care giver type of boyfriend.

[gayleggg]

If my husband hadn't been such a rock he would have thrown me out years ago. I don't know how he has put up with me. But it will be 16 years next week. I hasn't been easy. We have had a lot of problems mostly caused by me, but we have managed to stay together.

[catsrhelm]

I couldn't imagine being with another bi-polar. I am lucky to have a good friend to talk to who isn't bi-polar. He doesn't judge me or anything. As for my husband, I suspect the bi-polar bugs him, but he's too chickenshit to say anything. I wish he would, I could take it.

[KatiePillar]

Thanks for all the replies.

I ask because obviously I'm "in" one. Good lord, I say "in" because we're not together, we were, but she still wants to be with me, but she says she wants to work on herself before being together again. I'm really iffy about that because in my past relationship, she wanted to work on things, but nothing ever came of it.

I also can't trust her, she just lies too much, little things, big things, anything.

And like IndieVisible, the cops have been involved in our fights, been arrested, etc.

I can't even give myself a good reason why I want to be with her. Honestly, I hate her more than I love her.

[Victoria'smom]

To me significant others are best friends that you really like to sleep with. I have no idea why he is with me and vise-versa but we're both very grateful, normally . It doesn't sound like that's the foundation you have.

A lot of fights we had was trying to tell the person they are 'wrong' when in a mood swing. I have spit in my husband's face once because of this and other issues. We have learned "Don't argue with the crazy person." Understand that their current delusion and feelings are currently their reality and should not be challenged by you. Any issues like that should be directed towards your therapist. Your job as a significant other is to love the person unconditionally, unbeknownst to the other keep them safe and "tell on them when needed" (tell the professionals when the other isn't well).

You are not allowed to choose who your friends date. So you can't break up with the person because your being an ***, or you don't deserve them. When you realize your being an *** because your having a moment of clarity, apologies don't really mean anything because it will just happen again in a couple of hours. Whether you'll admit it or not if your being an *** then your in a mood swing, if it's not that you need to look at why and re-evaluate your relationship. So when apologies mean nothing small I'm grateful of you mean everything. We have a bag of little cards that tell us special things to do for the other person because as everyone here knows thinking isn't our strong suit when things are bad for us.

As for violent tendencies. Sex and masturbation is a wonderful realise for that. As is karate sparing and play fighting with a medium or large dog. I've had to have my husband break me and my dog up because I had a busted lip, was scratched up bad, and didn't relies. With intrusive extremely violent thoughts that could cause permanent damage or death I take seraquol PRN. My husband and son do karate 3x a week to help with wanting to cause injury to self and others.

Our house is probably safer than most hospitals. It's me proofed as I tend to be the more violent one but my husband has no access to our meds. I have other issues that flare when not the best. Anything that could be used to harm myself or others are kept high in the kitchen and there's no way I'd go in there just looking that direction makes me gain weight . I'm completely scared of the hospital and my husband's need to follow rules works for/against us when saying stay in this room until the alarm goes off usually works to let the other one sleep if the sleeping meds isn't working. I do not have my license, I will not get it and my husband generally isn't allowed to drive alone as we view episodes as driving drunk.

As for bills and things like that. We grocery shop 1x a month, and have all our bills directly withdrawn. neither of us really have access to that account. So any money we spend is gas money for the month. As for the phone voice mail is a wonderful thing. Whichever is the wellest checks voice mail every morning. Doesn't mean we do anything with it but at least someone knows who called.

We've always been really good at figuring ways around things. Because thinking straight isn't a strong suit at time the significant other can make emergency appointments and just tell the other we forgot the appointment. Most important is that each of us need to feel that the other is always on our side no matter our mood because being actually against the other person, even if it's just perceived will ruin the relationship. Disagreements are fine but not when one is sick.

We also have a wonderful team of doctors that have agreed to work with us as one. Each of us have our own therapists, and psychiatrists, we share a GP, our team has complete access to each of our files, we add or subtract from our team if needed or if they go against our treatment plan as it puts them all in question bringing us to start playing Dr/therapist to each other. Our deal to them and us is to be completely honest with them, even if I have to write it and call ******** on the other when needed.

[monochromatic]

I think it depends on the people.

Personally, my significant other is the polar opposite of me. Stable to a fault. It's frustrating sometimes when I feel needy, but I think it's what I need. I feel like he is often my anchor.

[KatiePillar]

I'm needy too. I crave to just be close to my so. But she's not a touchy person. :c

I'm just seeing a million ways this just wont work out, and like a few that it will.

My stubbornness will be the death of me I swear.