The Other Me

I'm not sure if this is mania or happiness...Not sure how long mania lasts but for over a month now I haven't been myself, I've been overly happy and feel almost invincible, I constantly think about sex.
I feel like my thoughts are just never-ending, I am typically a home body who has issues even going to a restaurant because I don't want people to see me. Lately I can't get enough attention, I seek it out and get such a rush from even just talking to people. I am in love with words and feel so anxious and out of my element if there is nobody around to listen to me talk.
I constantly feel the need to be doing something artistic. In a month I have gone through more journals and sketch books than I have in this entire year.
I have a 3 year old little girl and have noticed such a positive change in her behavior because of the change in mine. I play with her more,I have so much excess energy that I don't feel the need to sleep more than a couple hours a night so any chores get done when I would usually be sleeping so I can dedicate my time to her and I'm so happy and never want this to end!
That being said I am bipolar but am not currently on meds or seeing a Dr. So...as much as I want to believe that this is me happy...my rational brain says I am probably out of luck.

Any and all advice or thoughts are greatly appreciated....

Thanks a lot!
Rayleigh

That sound like me in mania. Especially words like invincible and can't stop thinking about sex, little or no sleep.

I love that feeling and wish it would last all the time!! Be careful tho for a crash depression, that ruins everything & we have to remain thoughtful & try to avoid that. Look into natural ways to manage the mania if you don't/can't have a doc. Or maybe look for a doc now & you might be able to get in within a month or so for help with potential depression. Stay strong for your little girl, you sound like a good mommy. If you get hyper sexual like me, try to be safe physically & emotionally & who you bring around your child. I'm a mama of many mistakes, just trying to help.

Thank you very much for your reply, it really did help to just hear somebody else talk about it.

I am actually still with the father of my little lady, I still worry about making decisions though, I've come close to cheating a couple of times and that worries me, I feel like an attention addict and that's just so not me.

I think the fact that you are on here getting some support and able to say that you have made many mistakes is awesome. That's all we can do now right?..Just try to get the help we need to make fewer mistakes in the future.

Thanks again!
RAYLEIGH

Hello. I am new to this web site. However, when I read that you are a home body and do not even like going out because you don't like people seeing you, I could relate. I know you are going through mania right now. I know I am not myself when I get hyper sexual. I get sooooooooo flirtatious and I am humiliated in my mind when I come out of it because I know for a fact that people noticed. I did have affairs. It is so sad. I have and still do not trust my own decisions. Before I ever had an affair I told my husband to keep a close eye on me and told him why. I was crying when I told him, however, I think he did not know what to do. I would highly suggest that you completely avoid situations in which you might be alone with another man. It is soooooooooooooo not worth it and the pain you will feel when you are no longer manic is so crushing and for me it was debilitating and eventually tore my family apart.
Today, and for the last year, I have been very depressed with a few hyper sexual times. I am so depressed that I am in a dark pit unable to see the sun. I am so tired of living like this. I want so badly to be "normal" for myself and for my children. I sleep allot. If I get 10 hours I am good. Less than 9 and it starts to take a toll on me. My moods are all over the place. I have always felt that I do not deserve happiness or love and this feeling always haunts my relationships. I am afraid of being hurt so I push people away and try to keep to myself. Any way, thanks you for posting. I know I am kinda all over the place lol. Kinda the name of the game with bipolar.

Tammy

Hey, I can appreciate what you're saying to an extent. When I'm in a manic state, it wonderful, but I know that after every high comes a deep low! If you can sustain a "functional" euporic mania then you've got it made. Functional being the key! I've heard that President Clinton and some others have it, I can't recall the diagnosis, but boy that would be wonderful! Best of luck!!!