black

fantastic.........yum...\

magnificent

Hi monkey man

I called yesterday and not supposed to call for another day. Puh. Too much.

Anxiety sucks. Maybe benedryl would help. Or ativan. Ideas?

you called awesome...!!

JAMES LOVES YOU....

YES

Thank you James!

Took ativan. 9 am wow

Ativan helping. Nap wonderful.

Now my youngest is in trouble at schpol. Fml

Kids...gotta love 'em...even when they get on your last nerve

Suppose. Going back tp slep. Up later tp to pick upkifds.

Slept. Picking up kids. Going back to sleep.

At coffrr shop with kids. Played checkers n had coffee and a sandwich.

Im out with two of my kids. They refuse to leave but we are at barnes and noble not so bad. I slept until 3 pm went to bed around 10. We are having an ok time. They got their homework done.

Home and in bed. Last night i got 13 hours of sleep. Wonder if i will sleep that much tonight again.

Called pdoc again. Left a message

Talked with pdoc. She moved my appointment up till next week and wants me to keep busy until then. So im out of bed at starbucjs. Major deal. I wouldve slept the day away otherwise. Reading terry cheneys "manic". Ironic. I think my blog is bigger than this book!

Only wish I could get 13 hours of sleep! I am having trouble understanding your posts. You act as though you are depressed, but you are constantly out with your friend. I am depressed, and I have not left the house at all, not to mention not showering for days on end. Am I missing something here? I just don't understand. If you are that depressed, how can you go out with a friend every day? I am trying to understand. Forgive me, but I am a total mess, just trying to relate.

Only wish I could get 13 hours of sleep! I am having trouble understanding your posts. You act as though you are depressed, but you are constantly out with your friend. I am depressed, and I have not left the house at all, not to mention not showering for days on end. Am I missing something here? I just don't understand. If you are that depressed, how can you go out with a friend every day? I am trying to understand. Forgive me, but I am a total mess, just trying to relate.

Yes you got me. I guess im trying to run away. My pdoc told mr to grt out and do something so here i am at starbucks. She doesnt want me in bed which is my inclination.

Do not understand you Moose, nOt at all. Your simple answer did not explain at all. I am glad for you that you can get out. Maybe it would be best if you don't post such distressing messages constantly, like over and over again on this forum. I am new here and have felt your pain and have responded to it. But every day you talk about going to Starbucks with your friend. I just don't understand, and since I am new, please give me the benefit of the doubt. I could be totally wrong.

Going out is what my pdoc wants me to do to deal. Instead of sleep away the day which i have been doing. I make myself go out. Make sense now?

This is just my take on things but there's been more to Moose's episode than just depression by itself.

In my own case, I have been recovering from a mixed episode, where for 4 days I slept on purpose because I was shutting down. But I made myself do some things and in some cases my husband made me do somethings like go to dinner, the movie. It depended on the day in most cases.

Most of us have basic similarities in our experiences with being depressed but we are still individuals and our experiences and abilities to deal with them are going to be different. Moose is doing the best she can and trying to fulfill responsibilities to her family.

For myself, I couldnt stand being depressed and living with so much anxiety I had to see my drs a lot these past 3 weeks and get a med change last week. Its making a difference and I avoided the hospital. I was very close. So my best suggestion to you is call your pdoc and T and get them to help you.

I wish you the very best.

emomom, I'm seeing pdoc next week rather than next month, but that's my last appointment for the year so I'm high and dry after that.

Do you know Terri Cheney is? Wrote the book "Manic"? I just emailed her. We'll see if she ever responds. I thought she'd be interesting to write to. Lucky that she got her book published. He situation was one of extremes: Tied down to a bed, charcoal in tube into stomach, wandered out into cold lake in not much clothes... Makes my life with bipolar seem tame. I sent her a copy of a few of my blog posts, first of which is:

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Whirling Wipers

Walking through the fog I breathe in its viscosity. The cars drive one way- a wiper swipes- then the other whooshing by. They don't exist. I can walk between the most and air as it overburdens my lungs, thick. The air blows around my ankles and is soothing. Whirling through the cars like the fog. Like the ghost that I am. I don't exist. Time changes. Every bit of what I am and was and could be are now one. I take another step. One. Two. The lights change. The fog lays low, cuddling around the hard bright surfaces of metal. I step again. Red.... Green. Step. Whoosh! Honk! I am free! Time and I are one. I step again.... Breathe in that thick air. Stop.

I'm glad you've avoided the hospital.

I'm out at Starbucks typing on my friend's laptop. I am glad to see you around.

My mom's husband comes home today after major surgery. He will be sleeping in the middle of the house and being 'fragile' for weeks, I'm sure, so my mom will be all about "Kevin".... Ugh. I understand that he had surgery, but life must go on and we can't all be muted simply because he's in the middle of the house. But, I guess we'll see how it goes. That's just my guess.

Good for you Moose .. at least you went out!
I'm still all tied up in this depression and bipolar crap ..
I love the way you 'straight talk' and by-pass the bull s**t!