[cashart10]

My bp has been out of control since my baby was born just over 6 weeks ago. I refer to bp as a roller coaster but I feel like I have been through a year's worth of episodes in these 6 weeks. I am soooo exhausted and I just want to cry and cry about it and now I have come down and I am full of anxiety and feel suicidal. I just feel so worn out. My pdoc wants to admit me which is incredibly sad to me because of my kids, one of which is a newborn. Anyway, I feel so overwhelmed. Anyone else have a similar (or terrible) postpartum experience with any of your pregnancies?

[Yoda]

I had not yet been diagnosed with bipolar when I was pregnant but I had severe postpartum depression. About ten days after my son was born I called my ob-gyn and told him I was depressed. He disregarded me and said all women are like that after birth and he told me to drink a beer. Seriously, that's what he recommended. A couple days later I attempted suicide. After that I went to see a pdoc and he gave me an antidepressant and my husband took a couple of weeks off to be with me but I didn't feel like I had much support from the doctor or my H.

An advantage to going inhospital is they can manage meds more quickly to see how you respond to them. I understand you not wanting to be away from your children but they need a stable mom so it might be best for everyone. Usually when I have been inpatient I have only been there five to ten days not counting my first time.

[Eliza Jane]

I was diagnosed prior to pregnancy with bipolar ii. Because of this I made the decision not to breastfeed so that I could resume the meds that had previously worked for me as soon as the baby was born. Even so, I think I had some hypomania (hubby asked me how I could possibly manage to be so energetic on how little sleep I was getting). It did settle down after a while. From my reading, it is common for bp folks to experience such destabilization after pregnancy. That was one of the reasons I made the decision I did.

It sounds like what you are going through is so much worse, though. I just wanted to post to say that I think it is unfortunately common. Are you on meds now?

Please keep us updated. Good luck.

EJ

I've not had kids, and this is one of the reasons why. How awful for you. Would the hospital let you take your baby in? I have been in clinics that have special rooms for mum and bubs.

Do you have a good support network? Could you have some friends or family come over to give you a hand or a bit of a break? Are you getting any "me" time to exercise, meditate or just destress for a bit? Please stay safe

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by Yoda

I had not yet been diagnosed with bipolar when I was pregnant but I had severe postpartum depression. About ten days after my son was born I called my ob-gyn and told him I was depressed. He disregarded me and said all women are like that after birth and he told me to drink a beer. Seriously, that's what he recommended. A couple days later I attempted suicide. After that I went to see a pdoc and he gave me an antidepressant and my husband took a couple of weeks off to be with me but I didn't feel like I had much support from the doctor or my H.

An advantage to going inhospital is they can manage meds more quickly to see how you respond to them. I understand you not wanting to be away from your children but they need a stable mom so it might be best for everyone. Usually when I have been inpatient I have only been there five to ten days not counting my first time.

Thank you; I'm so sorry you had such little support. My family all want me to go inpatient as well so I am going to concede as I agree that my children need a stable mom.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by Eliza Jane

I was diagnosed prior to pregnancy with bipolar ii. Because of this I made the decision not to breastfeed so that I could resume the meds that had previously worked for me as soon as the baby was born. Even so, I think I had some hypomania (hubby asked me how I could possibly manage to be so energetic on how little sleep I was getting). It did settle down after a while. From my reading, it is common for bp folks to experience such destabilization after pregnancy. That was one of the reasons I made the decision I did.

It sounds like what you are going through is so much worse, though. I just wanted to post to say that I think it is unfortunately common. Are you on meds now?

Please keep us updated. Good luck.

EJ

Thank you for sharing EJ. Yes, I am on meds now. I talked to my doc again today and my family and all want me to go in so I believe I am.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by Supanova

I've not had kids, and this is one of the reasons why. How awful for you. Would the hospital let you take your baby in? I have been in clinics that have special rooms for mum and bubs.

Do you have a good support network? Could you have some friends or family come over to give you a hand or a bit of a break? Are you getting any "me" time to exercise, meditate or just destress for a bit? Please stay safe

Thank you Supanova. The hospital won't let me take her in to stay, but I will be able to see her every day. I have a great support network and all believe I should go in. I don't get enough me time at all but it is very hard with 3 that are 5 and under. I have been given the ultimatum that I will either need to go to the hospital or they will need to hire someone to stay with me and the kids until I am better. I think I will go in but all of this just happened today so I am going to wait until tomorrow to decide. It wouldn't be such a big deal to me if it weren't for my newborn. I will miss all of them (I haven't been inpatient in 15 years) but my newborn just needs so much care. Anyway, thanks again for your concern.

cas

[BlueInanna]

Originally Posted by cashart10

Thank you; I'm so sorry you had such little support. My family all want me to go inpatient as well so I am going to concede as I agree that my children need a stable mom.

So glad they're there for you. It probably won't be a long stay and sounds like the best plan right now to get yourself well.

[cashart10]

Thanks again for your support. My stay was one week. I feel like I should be back.

[BipolaRNurse]

Oh, honey. How I wish I'd known that postpartum depression/psychosis existed way back when I was having my kids. After the fifth one I used to have grisly fantasies about taking the baby with me and kneeling down on the railroad tracks with a train coming, or drowning us both in the lake.....it was AWFUL and I couldn't tell anyone about it for fear they would think I was a terrible mother.

I didn't know then that I was sick, or that it was a symptom of my then-undiagnosed bipolar disorder. Of course I never acted on it, but for the better part of a year I was terrified I would, and too ashamed even to tell my husband. Thank God it's all just a memory now, and thank God women are told about PPD now and warned about what to look for!!

Going into the hospital is a GREAT idea. You don't want to have to suffer for months and months like I did. Do whatever you need to, in order to keep you and your new little one healthy and happy. Take care, OK?

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

Oh, honey. How I wish I'd known that postpartum depression/psychosis existed way back when I was having my kids. After the fifth one I used to have grisly fantasies about taking the baby with me and kneeling down on the railroad tracks with a train coming, or drowning us both in the lake.....it was AWFUL and I couldn't tell anyone about it for fear they would think I was a terrible mother.

I didn't know then that I was sick, or that it was a symptom of my then-undiagnosed bipolar disorder. Of course I never acted on it, but for the better part of a year I was terrified I would, and too ashamed even to tell my husband. Thank God it's all just a memory now, and thank God women are told about PPD now and warned about what to look for!!

Going into the hospital is a GREAT idea. You don't want to have to suffer for months and months like I did. Do whatever you need to, in order to keep you and your new little one healthy and happy. Take care, OK?

Thank you SO much for your honesty and support. As much as I didn't want to go in, it did keep me safe, of course and now I feel already like I need to go back. I'm hoping these med changes are still taking effect.

[Sharp_Lace]

Going to the hospital is a great idea. I was dumb and lied about my issues after I had my baby because I was afraid that I wouldn't get to see her. But that just led to months of me having horrible intrusive thoughts about suicide or putting the baby in the washing machine.... and me actually doing things like laying the baby on the floor and watching her cry, or hiding her in the closet and telling my husband I drowned her....

Postpartum things can be awefull. If you can get help then do it. Your children will thank you for it later.

I wish you the best. Take care