[Alokin]

I see A LOT of posts about people questioning and not accepting their bipolar diagnosis or asking to be diagnosed (I kind of think that if you have to ask, you already know).

I feel like I have pretty much always known I was a bit different, since pre-school I would say. By high school I knew the name. I did not get any kind of dx until I was 29 though.

I was wondering how many people realized they were bipolar, even before being diagnosed.

[Jcon614]

Originally Posted by Alokin

I see A LOT of posts about people questioning and not accepting their bipolar diagnosis or asking to be diagnosed (I kind of think that if you have to ask, you already know).

I feel like I have pretty much always known I was a bit different, since pre-school I would say. By high school I knew the name. I did not get any kind of dx until I was 29 though.

I was wondering how many people realized they were bipolar, even before being diagnosed.

I have not accepted the diagnosis and upon urging from my husband and children and my best friend who has known me sine age 12, I sought another opinion. This new doctor does not think I am bipolar, rather thought I suffered at one time a year ago from serotonin syndrome. No one who knows me sees any bipolar traits. I am trying to cope as best I can, and I do feel better being off strong Meds like Zyprexa and seroquel, which gave me serious orthodtatic hypotension.

[Victoria'smom]

My sister got dx when I was 13. I knew then the name of what was wrong. I asked for help from then but it feel on deaf ears for years.

[IndieVisible]

I think a lot of us can identify with always feeling we were always different, but that does not always equal having bipolar. And that is the point why many question their diagnosis or even deny it. Not just for BP for any disorder for that matter. It's natural to question and common to doubt.

I didn't even know what a manic depressant was before I was diagnosed, back then that was used more common then bipolar today, same thing.

[monochromatic]

At first I didn't want it. It was this stain on my shirt that would never go away and ITS NOT FAIR. But then eventually I realized that accepting it would not only put me on track to finally feeling better, but also allow me to make connections with people who are going through the same thing, and that helped me come around.

It was a tough few months though.

[middlepath]

I knew when I was in my early 20's but was DX'ed approx. 26 and "didn't like the sound of it", therefore I ignored it until it reared its head so heavy and hard that ignorance was no longer an effective coping tool. I now accept it and am ok with it completely. I knew deep down, before the term BP ever got dropped though. In fact, I was known amongst my friends for being moody. not the BPD type of moody though...they identified mood waves and knew when to stay away from me. three of those friends are still friends to this day and i am grateful. I would say they were the first people to really DX me : )

[medicalfox]

I had no idea I was bipolar when my symptoms emerged when I was 15, all I knew was that I was suffering from something abnormal. I knew nothing of psychiatric disorders until I was placed into a specialized psychiatric hospital in a different state. That's when my mother finally told me that my father was bipolar during an intake, but I denied help for my disorder for years because I didn't want to be associated with the disorder.

I was always different because of my autism and OCD as a child, but I never thought I would have a mood/thought disorder.

[Rick7892]

I was diagnosed last week with BP and my struggle seems to be less at having BP than being upset
1) with my primary doctor for the round-about way she handled it. I wish she would have been more straightforward about it--she kind of left me guessing.
2) with myself. I knew I had depression (I had been prescribed anti-depressants 5 times) and anxiety with a touch of obsessiveness. I had been a "worry-wort" since I was a kid, and sometimes an excessive one. But after being diagnosed, I remembered doing a BP or mania online screening 10-20 years and seeing that this was an issue--I thought I could get by with self-help and vigilance.for some of the mania symptoms. In looking back and learning about BP and mania now, I see that a good part of what I thought was anxiety in the past 3 years that has been very stressful was actually mania. I live alone, so it is up to me to monitor my behavior and, looking back, I didn't do a good job.
3) with taking medication. Presently, I have extensive food sensitivities, so the foods that I can eat are very limited. Plus, I couldn't tolerate the anti-depressants I was prescribed because of the side-effects that mostly adversely affected my sleep. I am not looking forward to an extended process of getting the right dose or combination of meds.

So for me, I had some knowledge of my BP years ago, but I apparently tried to ignore it. I wonder now how my life would have been if I had gotten help years ago. But so it goes. Yesterday is a cancelled check.... Today is the day to work towards solutions!

[Alokin]

Originally Posted by Rick7892

I was diagnosed last week with BP and my struggle seems to be less at having BP than being upset
1) with my primary doctor for the round-about way she handled it. I wish she would have been more straightforward about it--she kind of left me guessing.
2) with myself. I knew I had depression (I had been prescribed anti-depressants 5 times) and anxiety with a touch of obsessiveness. I had been a "worry-wort" since I was a kid, and sometimes an excessive one. But after being diagnosed, I remembered doing a BP or mania online screening 10-20 years and seeing that this was an issue--I thought I could get by with self-help and vigilance.for some of the mania symptoms. In looking back and learning about BP and mania now, I see that a good part of what I thought was anxiety in the past 3 years that has been very stressful was actually mania. I live alone, so it is up to me to monitor my behavior and, looking back, I didn't do a good job.
3) with taking medication. Presently, I have extensive food sensitivities, so the foods that I can eat are very limited. Plus, I couldn't tolerate the anti-depressants I was prescribed because of the side-effects that mostly adversely affected my sleep. I am not looking forward to an extended process of getting the right dose or combination of meds.

So for me, I had some knowledge of my BP years ago, but I apparently tried to ignore it. I wonder now how my life would have been if I had gotten help years ago. But so it goes. Yesterday is a cancelled check.... Today is the day to work towards solutions!

The one pdoc I had for an extended period of time would not tell me a dx, I suspect she was trying to do my a favor because I was in the military. When I read her notes (which is another good question to ask about) I really wish I had not. She had me down as mood disorder NOS, suspected bipolar, borderline traits. My current doc seems to be taking the same approach.

[Happy Camper]

I suspected bipolar and went to the er after a couple of weeks of bad insomnia and severe dehydration. I was extremely unwell, but I'm the type that can't express thoughts or feelings to save their life, and so it built up inside until I harmed myself and was committed.

Whether or not I'm actually bipolar, I just wanted the professionals to validate my suffering and recognize that something is seriously wrong with me. I had previously managed to hide strong suicidal feelings and obvious self harm scars pretty well years earlier. The involuntary hospitalization along with the meds they had me on only made things far, far, worse, but it strengthened my will to live and not put myself in that situation again.

I have no idea if I would have the BP1 diagnosis if I hadn't reacted so poorly to the meds, or if had never brought it up with the doctors, because I think my own input (rather than their observations) had a lot to do with it.

I think mood disorder nos was probably the most accurate dx I've ever gotten. I only wish the doctors weren't so pushy with meds; my ability to make decisions for myself was already impaired, so of course I went along with them. I actually just wanted to seem compliant to get out sooner, and I would have been even more vocal about leaving if they weren't cleaning my wound out daily and giving me antibiotics for it.

Even though I stopped risperidone because it was giving me tardive dyskinesia, breasts, sexual problems, strong dissociation/feeling nothing was real, destabilized my mood, amplified my ocd, paranoia, and anxiety, I decided to take it again because the doctor was a manipulative ****

sorry for rambling

[steelfang]

I knew there was something different about me when I was in kindergarten, but of course I had no idea what it was. When I was about 15 or so, I did suspect that I had bipolar 2 after taking my high school health class. I was cutting when depressed yet sometimes I would get insanely hyper and act very eccentrically. I never told my parents this though because they totally brushed me off when I said I though I had ADHD. I didn't want them to be on my case so I decided to keep quiet.

Ironically when my psychiatrist told me I had bipolar 2 when I was 19, I viciously denied it and felt she was full of ****. This is because. I was misdiagnosed with depression and finally coming out of it. Apparently I was hypomanic at the time. I didn't want her to kill my buzz and the thought of being put on mood stabilizers frightened me.

It wasn't until I had my first manic episode in October that I realized I did have bipolar. The diagnosis was then changed to bipolar 1.

I had no idea. I knew I had depression but I didnt even really know what Bipolar was before I was diagnosed with it.

Its not so commonly diagnosed here so its not talked about as much as other mental illnesses at that time.

i'm not sure.... i mean, i always knew it was something, but not what

must admit when i was first told i was relieved to actually be diagnosed- i knew it wasn't just me

[Andysmom]

I always had depression but bi-polar never crossed my mind. It was when I was hospitalized. For the second time that the Dr. Decided on bi-polar. I'm still not sure this is correct because I rarely have hypo manic episodes and when I do they only last a day or two. On the other hand the meds have really helped me.

[gayleggg]

No, I was surprised. I though I just had Major Depressive disorder. Was shocked when they told me I was bipolar. I was also in the hospitatl at the time. It just never occured to me.

The very first time I was hospitalize for severe depression, I'm the one who said to the psychiatrist "I think I have manic depression." I knew enough about the disorder and recognized that my moods/behavior were consistent with the description of the disorder. The diagnosis has stuck ever since - - and I still believe it to be correct.

[Moose72]

No but right aftrr diagnosis it made sense. I did suspect schizoaffective though. It just fit with the hallucinations outside of a mood episode.

[anneo59]

Originally Posted by Alokin

I see A LOT of posts about people questioning and not accepting their bipolar diagnosis or asking to be diagnosed (I kind of think that if you have to ask, you already know).

I feel like I have pretty much always known I was a bit different, since pre-school I would say. By high school I knew the name. I did not get any kind of dx until I was 29 though.

I was wondering how many people realized they were bipolar, even before being diagnosed.

accept it but may also have some borderline of some sort as well.

[Miss Laura]

My family and friends knew before I did to be honest. I still haven't accepted it 3 years down the line

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk

[BipolaRNurse]

I'd suspected it for over a decade, but was still shocked when I was actually diagnosed with it. Now when I look back over the course of my life, it's been there since childhood.....I just didn't see it till my 40s, and didn't get treated till my early 50s. I wish I had been more proactive when I was younger, maybe it wouldn't have gotten as bad as it is. But what do they say---too soon old, too late smart?

[redbandit]

I knew I had it as soon as I actually knew what it was. That was when I was 18. It took the doctors a few years to figure it out though