Bipolar and Booze.....

What do you do? Do you abstain completely? Do you have a little now and then? Is it a struggle? What is it like for you?

So I have not had a drink since July 20th when I sunk myself in white wine due to overwhelming anxiety and woke up is a worsened depression that got worse and worse. The couple of times I drank leading up to that were emotionally charged times for me (I crashed bad in March and just cycled all around until I started my meds) and I ended up not being able to stop when I would start. Now I have always had a relationship with alcohol. It makes you feel better when you're down, makes you feel calmer when you're up, and is always a master at peeling away anxiety. It is also a social thing, a ritual thing, a special occasion thing. This past year I have had at least two glasses of wine a night (until July20th)

I know it is destabilizing. I know it messes up my brain. I am trying so hard to do absolutely everything I possibly can to remain stable, to recover from that awful episode, to stay in this happy steady place. But I struggle with the booze. It tempts me a lot.

So unfortunately we opened some red wine for a recipe two days ago but did not drink it and stupidly just left it here. Now hubby is away and....

I absolutely could not help myself. I poured a glass. It tastes so good. I think I can totally stop....

My worry is that it has such a hold on me. That I want it so much even in this emotionally stable state. Do you think I need to go to AA?

Try one glass and see how you do. Could you throw away the rest so you're not tempted to drink it all?

What's working for me is moderation, which is the hardest thing ever. One glass every now and then, and then that's it.

Alcohol used to be a big problem for me. I realise that moreso when I joined psyc central and was exposed to a culture that doesnt have a drinking problem haha.

When I got stable on these meds, my need for alcohol completely disappeared. It took a few days to get out of the habit of a beer everyday but not long and it wasnt hard. Now days I barely drink at all. The other night I had a few drinks socially and man o man did i regret that. The slight hangover the next day was so not worth it, even though it wasnt severe. And that night I started getting depressive thoughts. Not too severe but bad enough to not want to drink any more.

I hope that I will never have a problem with alcohol again now that I realise just how much better life is without it. I do feel for those that are still stuggling with it, I have been there (for years) and its not nice. While people may think it is helping by having an escape it really doesnt.

I noticed when I drank before I was diagnosed that I would over indulge. yes hangovers headaches... lets not forget getting drunk also was a self medication for me. but slowly as I noticed I was getting really depressed I started to slow down. the doctors said not to drink since I am on new meds. I did have a drink here and there but I have kept it to 1 drink only. thank god I have been loosing my appetite for alcohol. Don't dwell on the fact that you cant drink. moderation is the key to this.

Thanks for your stories. It really helps to hear. I did just have one glass. I was loving it at first though with a lot of guilt and then I came on here to post and then I went ahead and texted my friend who keeps me on the straight and narrow with this kind of thing and I felt like I was trying to move myself out of the riptide of the immediate need. I still finished that small glass but towards the end I could feel it in my brain rather than just the warmness ya know and I realized that I didn't like it and didn't want it to go any further. So I had no more. And it was easy.

Sometimes I feel over it and it seems easy. Other times and situations are harder. I have a friend from college coming to stay and while she is totally aware there will be no drinking it is just very in my face. And then the holidays and both my parents and my husband's parents are huge drinkers so there will be alcohol galore. I just have to remember how awful it feels to be too drunk, to be hungover, to be depressed, to be mixed, to cycle and cycle and hurt and hurt. So yeah I don't want it. It is too high stakes.

Maybe I needed this one little blip to get it out of my system a bit. To see that it isn't some great thing after all.

I wish you well! I have no idea if you should go to AA or not, but I will share my experience.

I self-medicated with a glass of wine a night to calm down from what I realize today was probably mania, but after I had an ulcer, alcohol caused me stomach problems. But I could not stop drinking alcohol on my own, even one glass of wine a night or every other night. I went to AA and have been sober from alcohol for the past 21 years, but AA doesn't work for everyone. I did learn some skills to cope better with life and to try to be calmer without using alcohol to self-medicate. There are people in AA who have BP, and one of the co-founders of AA (Bill W.) was reported to be manic-depressive (BP). Last week I was diagnosed with BP, which I am struggling with to accept.

So AA has not cured my BP or mania. But it does give me a support group of people who wish me well and people who are trying to cope with living when things get tough. I live in a small town, and I am grateful to have that support. I don't have that face to face support for being BP...

There are no minimum amounts of alcohol consumed required to go to and to be accepted at AA meetings, which I know first-hand. Yes some people in AA drink a lot more than 1 glass of wine/day and may be vocal that only they are real alcoholics. Craving even one glass of wine (or beer) and being unable to resist is sufficient. AA's 3rd Tradition states: “The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.” The amount is not specified.

Again, I am not pushing AA, and it doesn't work for everyone. There are some people in AA (but not me) who give their personal opinion that meds for mental health are not needed, and exposure to them can be detrimental. But there is material in AA literature that meds are OK and necessary (e.g., do Internet search for "Medications and Other Drugs - Alcoholics Anonymous" [sorry, I can't give the link because I am a new member and have not submitted enough posts to be able to give link]). Good luck!

Rick, thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. It really helps to hear the first hand information. Much appreciated! Welcome to bipolar world. I hope you find some peace and support here.

Drinking is a constant struggle for me.

I mostly abstain.

it used to be that i'd only drink on special events. (so christmas, or someone's birthday,) or what ever..

but now i usually have 1 drink every week, or sometimes every other

I try to drink one glass of wine a night, but manage to drink a glass about 5 times a week. My goal is a glass of wine daily, for health prevention. But I do not have a problem stopping - wine tastes good, but not more than that, so I never find myself wishing for more.

You asked about AA - probably not, because you do not seem to have that big of a problem, but even if you had a problem, AA's effectiveness is very limited. read this before you decide. Alcoholics Anonymous - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia