[tigersassy]

Oh how you evade me. I've followed my nightly routine so well. But yet you linger just beyond my reach. Could it be because of actions of the day? Up up up so high above the realm of men invincible untouchable even. Watching everyone else squirm and wiggle below the magnifying glass. Knowing that they know I'm better. That I'm special and they should respect that. Then to come home and want no contact physically with my spouse. Then I pushed her out of no where I pushed her across the kitchen floor. Then she ran and the thoughts fed the fire. How dare she run away from me, am I that freaking bad of a person? did I hurt her? Calm mellow try to relax what would I do if I were her? I would be scared hell thinking about it I'm scared. What if it wouldn't have stopped at a push... What if it'd have ben a punch? I would have to be locked away with no way to let me out. How would any one be able to trust me knowing I had hurt her my other half? I wouldn't be able to I know that. These thoughts are fueling the self injurious thoughts but I can't dact on those so here I lay trying to force sleep but knowing deep inside it won't come until it's ready... Forgive me for rambles. Forgive me for pain. I wish to sink down a but to manageable, but I'm afraid of sinking too low. Deal with it or force the change? Difficult decisions....

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[buddha2014]

Racing thoughts....!!!

Most of the bipolar people know what it is!!

And we all know that racing thoughts take us away from reality. We forget to see things as it is!!

And an association of sleeplessness just makes it unbearable. But when you are in a condition to share it with the people like us, you are definitely no going to hurt yourself or anybody else.

We do mistakes and ask for forgiveness. Ask for it from the God, from ourselves.

I tried to manage my racing thoughts and sleeplessness by breathing exercise. It did miracle.

Dr. Andrew Weil has some instructions. It helped me a lot.

[tigersassy]

Here we go again. Need to sleep have to get up early. So I don't want to battle these thoughts. Day 2. So utterly driven all of a sudden to investigate a spiritual path. will I find clarity if I do this? It has only been driven to this extreme in the past hour. Yes I investigated it a bit before, but this is above and beyond curiosity. This is out right obsessivness. Mind is running to fast. I'm waiting for someone to push a brick wall out in front of me so that I'll come crashing back to normalcy but alas I don't want the crash. I don't want backhole depression but plesant betweeness. Can I put in my reservation here to reserve stability for the weekend so I don't get in trouble, but how much fun could that be...

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[A Red Panda]

Sleep and I haven't been friends lately either. Up late, fall asleep, wake up for ages, fall asleep, likely to wake up before the alarm. I'll go most of the day quite wide awake and get home and am like "uuuugh!".

But of course, 4pm is not an appropriate time for me to nap or I will stay awake even later! I'm not winning!

awake night after night.

most annoying phrase in my book.... how was your night? (said to someone who's up all night watching dvds)

[Marshellette]

I found that a bunch of Omega 3's about six a day and Vistaril helps me sleep. I try not to take the Vistaril every day but I pretty much have to if I want to sleep.