[Seth412]

So in my recent drawn out depression (what is likely a mixed episode), I've had some very strange ideation.

In addition to the usual suicide scenarios, I've been dreaming up grandiose ideas about being a career criminal. More importantly, a famous criminal with a nickname known by all.

Now, I'm not thinking of harming anyone. More like the Oceans 11 variety.

While I know I won't act on it, it's very strange to me that such thoughts find their way into my head. I observe the law very closely. I don't even speed!

What are some strange and wild ideations you've had in the midst of a manic/depressed/mixed episode?

[Secretum]

Manic:
-I have superpowers
-I should move to Europe and make a living off of my novels
-The universe is all conscious
-I can talk to dead people and inanimate objects (since everything is sentient)
-I'm a genius (yeah, right! )

Depressed:
-my brain is rotting
-I'm dying of cancer
-I'm dumber than non-human animals
-I'm subhuman

Not sure how many of them cross the line between "strange ideation" and "delusion"...anyway, it keeps life interesting!

[BNLsMOM]

In the summer several houses on my street are taken care of by the same landscaper. A couple of years ago I thought that the guy who rides his lawn mower up and down the street was going to come after me and run me over with the lawn mower and kill me. I had to stay away from the windows and not go outside. I also thought that people who drove in black cars behind me were part of some kind of agency and that I was going to be kidnapped. I also used to try to communicate telepathically to ambulance drivers to try to tell them that I needed help.

[Moose72]

Ive thought that i knew the thread that binds all with all in my life and the universe.
The sun was sending me messages.
I thought my friend was an alien secretly.

[Silent Void]

I'm a national security asset with a dedicated hunter/killer satellite to protect me.

I think this would be classified a delusion if I believed it.

[PrairieCat]

Originally Posted by Seth412

So in my recent drawn out depression (what is likely a mixed episode), I've had some very strange ideation.

In addition to the usual suicide scenarios, I've been dreaming up grandiose ideas about being a career criminal. More importantly, a famous criminal with a nickname known by all.

Now, I'm not thinking of harming anyone. More like the Oceans 11 variety.

While I know I won't act on it, it's very strange to me that such thoughts find their way into my head. I observe the law very closely. I don't even speed!

What are some strange and wild ideations you've had in the midst of a manic/depressed/mixed episode?

I don't know if this was an episode or not but it sure sounds like one! A goading "friend" got me to read an anti-psychiatric book. It scared me to death and I contacted a lot of people, mainly family and a coupla friends and could not express my fear, just told them to never, ever see a psychiatrist and other odd things. The Goader tried to tell me that eating the right food and vitamins would cure me, which I did not believe after a while. She also told me that a "practitioner" could get me off of psych meds. LOL I found that there was no such thing. I did know that a doctor was the only one who could help me. I saw one that was awful. I also got involved with a horrible young man. I was an anxious mess and thought I would have to commit suicide and I knew how I'd do it, too. It was horrible, of course. I banished the Goader from my life as soon as I got it together again, after 5 months of seeing a lousy psychologist whose only conclusion was that I had anxiety and 4 months of seeing a fantastic therapist at a crisis center who said I had PTSD. Yes, I had both of those and more! I think I'm still recovering from all of this and more, but I now have a good pdoc and a therapist I'll start seeing in January.

[Happy Camper]

I can relate to thinking everything was sentient. Probably the strangest ideation was thinking that death was an illusion that only faded when you're ready to believe it, and that the purpose of life was to evolve into higher states---I thought my skin would turn blue and I had to travel to Antarctica where aliens would pick me up.
I developed a weird numeric/age system based on chromosomes. Being male XY, I was actually only 7 years old and every year after that was an illusion in my head, and that upon turning 20 in my mind, I was actually only turning XX, or 8. Then I thought that I was going to periodically change from male to female back to male, until I was in a high enough evolutionary state to shape shift at will. I also started to believe that water was all that I needed to survive, and that food was slowly looking more and more like poop. Eventually I concluded that stars were actual beings that exist in a greater realm, and we can't see their form because we exist in a smaller bubble of reality, as a cell is to a brain; the sun and orbiting bodies are a family, and we are their neurons.

It was a real trip. But I believe anything is possible because of it. Our imagination is our only limit.

[Lillyleaf]

Manic:
-I have secret super powers and can alter other people's thoughts with my mind
-I can fly but just forgot how
-I am the only one that knows the real truth about things
-I am brilliant everyone else just can't see it.
-I am an empath.

[Side of the Angels]

-I'm psychic
-I'm a scientist
-I'm a very advanced stunt-like professional driver (can get dangerous)
-I'm some sort of professional (writer, photographer)

[JoyDivision7680]

As a result of a (hypo)manic episode I guess I'm gonna run for president in 6 years. Thinking about that makes me feel great

[redfaux]

Certain songs are all about my life period. They were written for me and what I'm going through. High low doesn't matter in that one only time I really realize is when I'm baseline. I also swear up and down I had an alien or a malevolent spirit visit me and they come around every once in a while on my really bad days.

I am also very particular about my food when I'm low because if its been out too long then the most deadly food born bacteria is crawling all over it and if I eat it I'll die a very painful agonizing death.

[Victoria'smom]

There was ones I thought I had an immaculate conception. It made perfect sense.

[FireBird]

That I am a famous artist that will make millions of dollars. (Although I am famous in the autistic art world in real life but I make nothing)
That my speaking ability is going to make millions of dollars (so I joined Toastmasters).
I was going to start 5 multi-million dollar businesses without any problem. About that, we really do have 3 businesses and none of them make any money (at most a couple thousand a YEAR).
I thought for 5 seconds that someone was going to buyout my brother's business when it just started for (don't remember the exact amount) but I think it was 500 MILLION dollars!
This is all when I was manic, oh sometimes I think I am impervious to harm.
I also have schizoaffective thoughts but not calling them delusions but more than ideation.

[BadGirlBlues]

I thought i could cure the sick through power that came from my hands (im an RN). I asked certain receptive people if i could hold their hands and pray. Some people seemed soothed, so i guess it wasnt a total bust!

[Rrancher]

at depressed and manic ( is that a mixed episode?) I plan on how to kill my family so I can live guilt free with a secret identity. I will sleep with anyone, streel their money, and eventually escape to Mexico. don't send anyone to arrest me...I feel weird even saying that.

[redfaux]

Originally Posted by Rrancher

at depressed and manic ( is that a mixed episode?) I plan on how to kill my family so I can live guilt free with a secret identity. I will sleep with anyone, streel their money, and eventually escape to Mexico. don't send anyone to arrest me...I feel weird even saying that.

Yep I understand this completely. "Hell on heels " is that song and I go to it often in mixed states.

[steelfang]

Manic:
I am superhuman
I am going through spiritual enlightenment
I am going to write a whole grad school thesis NOW (while I am in community college )
I will make an amazing scientific discovery which will put my name in textbooks.
I am experiencing a rebirth.

[venusss]

I don't count spirit talks and superpowers (minor healing powers and some premotion) as delusions. It's something I have.

manic:

- that black hair would look good on me
- that i absolutelly need to share every thought i have with everybody.
- that time is not lineral (but who knows might be truth)
- that i should go fly off to anywhere but here or something horrible will happen

depressed
- that i have holes in my skull in which i may stick fingers
- earth between swallowed in black hole and world having ended without us realizing it.
- experiencing death in various forms, as various people or animals.

[wildflowerchild25]

Manic
- I have healing powers for emotional suffering - if you just talk to me I can heal your pain.
- my essays will end human suffering (I tend to drop everything I'm doing and start writing incomprehensible, rambling essays)
- I am so special that most humans cannot understand me

Depressed/mixed
- social services is watching me wherever I go waiting for a chance to take my son away
- an entity is implanting thoughts in my head
- the entity implants orders that I have to follow
- my husband and son hate me and would be better without me

[Mandysue]

im glad to hear other people experienced this crazyness too, my first manic episode I went to work telling them my dad was trying to kill me, ( he did try to keep me from going to work after not sleeping all night long) then I went to the apartment complex across from work and told the office people they were in danger and i was in the FBI ( FBI building was next to my work, so somehow i got that in my mind) they called the cops the cop called my mom...she showed up and my sister came...but they baker acted me..but i didnt care i was on top of the freakin world! another strange thing is I became obssessed with colors...everything looked brighter than before, I thought people in black cars were trying to hurt me, and white cars were on my side...its like I was in a movie it was totally nuts...and the color silver too...I made a huge deal about my mom buying me silver and white flip flops LOL....Manic Brain is crazy

[wing]

I've thought things along the same lines, Seth. It seems so exciting to live the life of a criminal. Selling drugs to the rich and famous (I'm not even a user), going off my meds and selling them. Most of them are get rich quick schemes...

[renie1022]

my psychiatrist was god.

[robosuplex]

I don't have these much anymore but the one I did have was very vivid:

I was a god and could feel myself ascending to the heavens in my mom's kitchen. Everyone was beneath me. I was all powerful and could do anything.

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[Victoria'smom]

I like when thought I was my husbands imaginary friend.
I was going to make my friends baby evil because I'm exhaling hatred.

All resent winter ideas