Biggest regret, rambling funeral speech that did not due my grandma justice

My grandma died and I gave a strange disjointed, non sensical speech that made me look dumb as if I had a low IQ. I remember it was so awful that my dad had to get up and correct my speech. I said strange things, it wasn't just that I was nervous. I said, Um she's a great lady. And left the stage. I'm ODD, just ODD...I turned purple with embarrassment. It has been three years since that day and I still think of all the people who are thinking I am crazy since then, it matters more since it's my family and they won't talk to me. Does it matter? I gave a totally psycho speech. In front of 100s of people that did not do the life and death of this person justice. I ruined the day. I still think people think I'm psycho or dumb because I could hardly open my mouth. I cringe whenever I think about it years later.

M, people think mainly about themselves, and life goes on after a death. Chances are the people there chalked your speech up to being literally speechless with loss, or that you got stage fright.