why??

why the hell do I even bother? call my t. call my dr. only my t calls back and she wants to know if I need to go to a hospital. I very angrily answered NO!

Sounds frustrating! Do you know what would help right now? I hope you feel better.

I don't know

Why did you call?

my depression has hit a low low low low low! I don't wanna get out of med or shower or even leave my pjs. I don't wanna be around anyone not even family. I just feel like crying and I feel dead inside. im doing what shes told me to do but I still feel like crap and im so tired of feeling this way!

I think her asking you about the hospital is the right thing..... If you are struggling this hard going inpatient can help .

take care

im not in a 'crisis.' im not suicidal.

You dont have to be suicidal to need a IP stay

couldn't even if I *wanted* to really go. gotta babysit for the next 2 days for a 5 yr old cousin. its where I am right now. :/ besides I don't wanna deal with telling my family or the embarrassment of it! im just so tired. tired of this.

I think secretly I want to be referred there by t. really. cause then I would appear attention seeking by my sister and I can stop faking to be ok. im tired. I just wanna be allowed to feel like crap.

When Depression becomes over whelming and your unable to do simple tasks your T can often get you placed IP ... I understand the concerns about people knowing but, really who cares about them right now . YOU need help and can reach out for it.

ive already told my t everything. idk what else to do.

tell her you need IP

are u serious? im not going to an er

Yes I am serious , why else would I say it?? You call your T and tell her you need IP and she will help you get there.

ill think about it.

I left her a message to call meback.

Good .. There is no shame in getting help.

im just gonna tell her hos frustrate di am and that I don't know what else to do right now

There are times that you do not need to go through the er or into a locked ward but into an acute care unit.

I have been to a crisis stabilization unit once. wasn't a hospital

Halliebeth, I can totally relate to what you are feeling. I spent most of the summer feeling like that. The total exhaustion of trying all the time. The deadened soul numb and painful and burning at the same time. And just wanting it all to stop and just wanting to be allowed to just fall apart. I hear you! I really contemplated going to the hospital at that time. I didn't know how to do it or what to do and like you I had children that I had to take care of and I did. I scraped myself raw and gave them everything. I didn't go to the hospital but I was very close. If I had not had children I probably would have gone. I am very scared about it but it seems like people are generally positive. I hope you figure something out that works for you. Just keep yourself safe.

But I just wanted to let you know that I heard your words and I felt them. I know that kind of pain. I am so sorry you are in it. I wish we didn't have to feel like this. Hug.

The child is not mine, I am only babysitting. Shes family and her regular babysitter is sick so they asked me to come for this week.

I know. I just meant you had to take care of a child.

yea. my therapist said that as long as I not in danger of self-harm that there is not harm in how I am right now. I see her next Monday. I spoke to my dr too and I see her next Wednesday. she didn't seem too concerned either. dude im so fed up with today. im so sad and having crying fits. bah!