[MichelleLeanne4]

Hi. I'm Michelle. I was just recently diagnosed as bipolar type 1 on new years eve. I'm 19. It's been an absolute hell... I had to leave my job cuz of the frequent break downs at work (psychosis, severe depression) now I'm just not getting anywhere. I don't have the motivation to do anything, but I also don't want to be stuck in my house all day doing nothing. I have no idea why I'm even here. I just need hugs or a pep talk or two :/ suicide isn't an option for me, even when I was almost hospitalized for severe depression. I've been depressed since the beginning of december, which yeah I know it before my diagnosis, but my mom noticed signs before then too. I was pretty manic for a good 9 months last year now I've just crashed and I feel like a failure... no job, not going to school, still living with my parents. idk what to do.

[ExistingInChanges]

I'm in a similar situation. I feel like you described pretty much what I'm going through.
It is hard to find your purpose in life. Maybe right now you need to regroup, find out who you are, what you want, work on building yourself up and focus on the goals of staying stable or as stable as possible.
It takes time to adjust to the mood swings and knowing its bipolar and knowing that you have to be on just the right meds and have just the right coping skills to get better, but you can make it.
When you feel like you aren't doing anything with yourself, you care about that or it wouldn't bother you and you can use that to your advantage to motivate yourself.

[jesusplay]

therapy can help

[wildflowerchild25]

I wouldn't be ashamed about living with your parents, you're only 19. I don't know where you live but here in NJ, US it is VERY expensive and pretty much impossible to live on your own without at least a roommate, unless you have a fabulous job. It's also very difficult to find a liveable wage right out of high school. So don't shame yourself for that. I didn't move out til I was 21 and that was earliest among all my friends.

Life is not over just because of a BP dx. I was first dx'ed when I was 18. I dropped out of college after half a semester and spent a year in and out of the hospital (7 times total). When I was 19 I had ECT treatment done and it brought me out of the severe depressed episode. I was able to work through a lot of my trauma issues in therapy and I didn't need meds or therapy for another 7 years. I got through college, had a kid, got married, and started my career before another round of severe episodes happened (through that time I cycled but it was mild to moderate). Even through the debilitating depression and dangerous mania/mixed episodes I've had over the the last year, I still have my job and my family.

I've been helped by meds for the most part. I was helped immensely by group therapy in an IOP. And even though I have bad times I lead an overall normal life.

All is not lost. I would suggest maybe volunteering someplace until you get back on your feet. It will give you structure and it is also something that you can increase or decrease based on your mood.

[gris212]

I had my first manic episode when I was 19. I'm 34 and still dealing with my issues. I live with my parents, in my culture it's okay and when I was working I help with bills so no shame in that.
I'm in your position because I fell into a deep depression in November. I resigned from my position this month. I'm home and keeping busy but no job yet. I'm hopeful things will get better but they will only get better if I do something about it.

Seek therapy, take your meds and work on getting better. Once you have taken care of yourself figure out what you want to do be it school or a job.

[Victoria'smom]

Don't stress about living at home. My two that we kinda adopted when they were 16 have lived with us more on than off even at 27 and with kids. If you live in US the household demographic are changing to an average of 25 before fully moving out.

Have you thought about day treatment to help you feel like your doing something about your depression?