I raise my white flag

You need to see someone pronto. It doesn't sound like your meds are working....if you are not feeling safe, you need to get emergency help.

Im safe. Im fine. Selfharm isn't even tempting to me any longer. Im on a new med....4 days on it so far.

I hate everything today.

Okay...just know that there are people here that understand.

Oh HALLIEBETH87 , I know the struggle of trying different meds and it seems nothing will ever work. It may not take it all away, but there is hope out there. Maybe try not fighting against the emotions you feel so hard, sometimes it is good just to cry and let yourself feel the moment (as long as you are no danger to yourself). It helps me to "allow" myself to be as I am and not judge it. I guess what I am trying to get at is acceptance from yourself. When you feel this way, there seems to be nothing that can take it away, that it will never end. Remember, even the worst of storms pass. Be kind to yourself and please take care.

I want to be happy. to stop the tears and anger and hate for myself. im nothing. im useless

you are special and unique. EVERYONE has something to offer the world. We just don't usually see it.

I just keep slipping farther down...

Have you and your psychiatrist discussed non-benzodiazepine anxiolytic/sleeping aides like Trazodone and Zolpidem (Ambien)?

How bad is the weather where yr at? Maybe you could call today and leave her/him a msg asking for a phone session for tomorrow cause of the weather. Just an idea..

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They don't do phone sessions. At all. And we're supposed to get some of the worse weather this season!

trazadone cause horrible nightmares and ambien causes hallucinations..

Is there any other anxiolytic that your psychiatrist has considered, and that she might be comfortable prescribing to you? Given that you're in so much discomfort, I would assume that any reasonable psychiatrist would try to address this.

Hugs Hallie Beth xx it can only get better xx

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Because of the snow I don't get to see my therapist until NEXT MONDAY! She is booked up tomorrow and out the rest of the week. Why do I even bother?!?!

I called and left a message for my Dr. for her about Topamax. I slept 14 hours and struggled to get up and I am exhausted ALL day long. She warned me I would be tired and all but seriously ALL day everyday and its only been 5 days. I am supposed to go up in dose today...I cant. I just cant. I cant. I cant. I cant!

I am SUPER irritable today. Like super. Ive already been so with my best friend and my grandma and I hate it. I don't mean it.