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  #51  
Old Mar 18, 2014, 05:15 PM
Anonymous200280
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Having people eventually get sick of your moods and that they cant "fix" them. So they say they need time but just never come back.
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  #52  
Old Mar 18, 2014, 05:23 PM
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Yeah lack of understanding and support is so heart-breaking.
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  #53  
Old Mar 18, 2014, 05:34 PM
BennyHill BennyHill is offline
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Definitely feeling invincible and acting like an idiot and then dropping off an emotional cliff into a severe depression.. Mainly the regret and drastic swing really
  #54  
Old Mar 18, 2014, 05:40 PM
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x_BabyG_x x_BabyG_x is offline
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All of it.

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  #55  
Old Mar 18, 2014, 05:40 PM
Capriciousness Capriciousness is offline
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The fact that my closest friends and family will never understand.
  #56  
Old Mar 18, 2014, 05:41 PM
Capriciousness Capriciousness is offline
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All of it.

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hells yeah
  #57  
Old Mar 18, 2014, 05:42 PM
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... Even the good stuff is the devil in disguise ha!

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~ HEY! I run a site on mental health called The Manic Years. I'm looking for some brave souls to share their own personal encounters with mental health. Are you up for sharing your story? Please get in touch on themanicyears@gmail.com. Thank you ~

Follow my blog here; http://themanicyears.com

Lola Olivia ~ 7/11/11 ~ my reason for breathing

Bipolar Affective Disorder type 2 - (2013)
'Borderline traits'
Dissociative episodes
  #58  
Old Mar 18, 2014, 05:55 PM
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My mother telling me that I'm not "crazy" and the dr is just trying to make me into a "pill popper" so I'll go back.

My mother saying that everybody has problems and I need to "buck up."

My husband assuming EVERY bad mood or irritation I have means I've skipped my meds or need more meds.

Insurance and medicinal costs.
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  #59  
Old Mar 18, 2014, 06:06 PM
peace&love peace&love is offline
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Trying to make plans for your future and not knowing whether you'll be up for it or in bed...
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  #60  
Old Mar 18, 2014, 06:47 PM
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MotherMarcus MotherMarcus is offline
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wishing you could remove the top of your skull, take out your brain, and point to where this illness resides.
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  #61  
Old Mar 18, 2014, 07:18 PM
Unrigged64072835 Unrigged64072835 is offline
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Knowing that I have no idea when the episodes will occur. Even if I do everything I can to stay stable it's still a crapshoot.

Driving my family crazy with me acting crazy.
  #62  
Old Mar 18, 2014, 09:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Fharraige View Post
Knowing that I have no idea when the episodes will occur. Even if I do everything I can to stay stable it's still a crapshoot.

Driving my family crazy with me acting crazy.
Or driving them away with me acting crazy.
  #63  
Old Mar 18, 2014, 10:14 PM
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Being in depths of hell is what the depression feels like...I can't seem to stand on my own two feet. If a celebrity Has mental illness they are very supported. But for a regular girl? I'm just another problem in societies eyes. I hate this depression. Even treated I still feel this way. Whenever I have a good day I thank god all day long for feeling happy. As I know that feeling of happiness is short lived. I'm.tired of trying to find pills to help with all these conditions. I'm on a new med that is suppose to be for bipolar depression. I can feel it and all it does is numb my mood and makes me feel nothing. Sure I'm.not bawling my eyes out while taking it. I just feel nothing. God I just want to feel something good for even just a week. I.wish my depression would just disappear.

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  #64  
Old Mar 18, 2014, 11:49 PM
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Knowing I am prone to the same symptoms over and over and still can't make myself stop.
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  #65  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 07:10 AM
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MotherMarcus MotherMarcus is offline
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Too much brain-chatter. Ugh....
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  #66  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 11:52 AM
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Originally Posted by MotherMarcus View Post
wishing you could remove the top of your skull, take out your brain, and point to where this illness resides.
Oh, yeah, I know what you mean! One thing my therapist said to me the other day was that it doesn't occur to people that the brain is an organ also.
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  #67  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 12:20 PM
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Confusion, fear, inability to work for years on end, hope that begins to repair and then shatters in an instant. Poor cognitive functioning, inability to explain much of it to anyone... "Is it bipolar, and does that even exist?" My T and Pdoc are certain I need to continue treatment. Denial. Fighting defeat through exhaustion. Afraid that over the hill I am fighting lies chaos and a runaway train, with shredded relationships in its wake.

In short, it shakes my very existence.
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  #68  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 12:21 PM
gris212 gris212 is offline
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For the longest time no one but my family knew I was Bipolar. I still don't tell the world, but I have opened up close friends. I had a friend for 3 years and back in December I finally told him..not long after we stopped talking over something petty. 3 months later never heard from him again and I know it was because I told him I'm BP. Now I don't know who can handle knowing without judging me.

As someone else mentioned I find it difficult that I can be stable for months, sometimes years and then Boom I hit rock bottom. I can handle my manic states because I'm happiest then, I don't get full of rage or make really dumb decisions. When I think I've learned and gotten better control of this damn illness, it goes and kicks me in the butt reminding me I'm not as strong as I think I am.

I find the worse also that it's a daily battle with Myself! My thoughts get me in trouble, from getting fully depressed to having racing thoughts that don't let me sleep. If I was "normal" I know I would still be my own worse critic, but it's worse when you're BP.
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  #69  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 02:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsunamisurfer View Post
Confusion, fear, inability to work for years on end, hope that begins to repair and then shatters in an instant. Poor cognitive functioning, inability to explain much of it to anyone... "Is it bipolar, and does that even exist?" My T and Pdoc are certain I need to continue treatment. Denial. Fighting defeat through exhaustion. Afraid that over the hill I am fighting lies chaos and a runaway train, with shredded relationships in its wake.

In short, it shakes my very existence.
You, in fact, describe how I've been feeling to the tee. I have so much to offer and my brain betrays me.
Thanks for this!
Tsunamisurfer
  #70  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 03:40 PM
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littlemiss44 littlemiss44 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gris212 View Post
For the longest time no one but my family knew I was Bipolar. I still don't tell the world, but I have opened up close friends. I had a friend for 3 years and back in December I finally told him..not long after we stopped talking over something petty. 3 months later never heard from him again and I know it was because I told him I'm BP. Now I don't know who can handle knowing without judging me.

As someone else mentioned I find it difficult that I can be stable for months, sometimes years and then Boom I hit rock bottom. I can handle my manic states because I'm happiest then, I don't get full of rage or make really dumb decisions. When I think I've learned and gotten better control of this damn illness, it goes and kicks me in the butt reminding me I'm not as strong as I think I am.

I find the worse also that it's a daily battle with Myself! My thoughts get me in trouble, from getting fully depressed to having racing thoughts that don't let me sleep. If I was "normal" I know I would still be my own worse critic, but it's worse when you're BP.
I understand what you mean about other people's reaction to my bp diagnosis. I've lost people along the way and they stop caring about me. It really hurts.how they cut you out of their lives. Know that only special friends really care. You don't need the ones who just stop talking to you. Remember that you really are strong! It's just this illness can kick us in the butt and hard. It doesn't make us weak or anything. We are stronger than we think. Be easy on yr self. Be kind to yr self. Hugs

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Thanks for this!
gris212
  #71  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 03:42 PM
Anonymous100110
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The debilitating episodes of depression that cause me to end up in the hospital almost every stinking time.

Oh, and feeling like everything is going along fine and dandy only to have the rug pulled out from under me.
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  #72  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 03:47 PM
gris212 gris212 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by littlemiss44 View Post
I understand what you mean about other people's reaction to my bp diagnosis. I've lost people along the way and they stop caring about me. It really hurts.how they cut you out of their lives. Know that only special friends really care. You don't need the ones who just stop talking to you. Remember that you really are strong! It's just this illness can kick us in the butt and hard. It doesn't make us weak or anything. We are stronger than we think. Be easy on yr self. Be kind to yr self. Hugs

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Thanks! You're right. Yes it hurts because you think the friendship would mean something illness or not. I tell myself people come into my life for a reason, there's that saying some people come into your life for a season others for a lifetime. It's their choice, not mine to walk away and I try not to take it to heart but I'm so sensitive.
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  #73  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 04:30 PM
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Hearing the jokes about the weather being bipolar or that bipolar is just an excuse
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  #74  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 08:52 PM
Bipolarchic14 Bipolarchic14 is offline
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Life
  #75  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 10:30 PM
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That my sleep is unpredictable. That I have to take two and, at times, three medications... no, three and a half, since Lithium is a mild sedative... just to freaking sleep. I mean - sleep is a basic function, but it fails me miserably.
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