what's so hard about bipolar

Having people eventually get sick of your moods and that they cant "fix" them. So they say they need time but just never come back.

Yeah lack of understanding and support is so heart-breaking.

Definitely feeling invincible and acting like an idiot and then dropping off an emotional cliff into a severe depression.. Mainly the regret and drastic swing really

All of it.

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The fact that my closest friends and family will never understand.

hells yeah

... Even the good stuff is the devil in disguise ha!

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My mother telling me that I'm not "crazy" and the dr is just trying to make me into a "pill popper" so I'll go back.

My mother saying that everybody has problems and I need to "buck up."

My husband assuming EVERY bad mood or irritation I have means I've skipped my meds or need more meds.

Insurance and medicinal costs.

Trying to make plans for your future and not knowing whether you'll be up for it or in bed...

wishing you could remove the top of your skull, take out your brain, and point to where this illness resides.

Knowing that I have no idea when the episodes will occur. Even if I do everything I can to stay stable it's still a crapshoot.

Driving my family crazy with me acting crazy.

Or driving them away with me acting crazy.

Being in depths of hell is what the depression feels like...I can't seem to stand on my own two feet. If a celebrity Has mental illness they are very supported. But for a regular girl? I'm just another problem in societies eyes. I hate this depression. Even treated I still feel this way. Whenever I have a good day I thank god all day long for feeling happy. As I know that feeling of happiness is short lived. I'm.tired of trying to find pills to help with all these conditions. I'm on a new med that is suppose to be for bipolar depression. I can feel it and all it does is numb my mood and makes me feel nothing. Sure I'm.not bawling my eyes out while taking it. I just feel nothing. God I just want to feel something good for even just a week. I.wish my depression would just disappear.

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Knowing I am prone to the same symptoms over and over and still can't make myself stop.

Too much brain-chatter. Ugh....

Oh, yeah, I know what you mean! One thing my therapist said to me the other day was that it doesn't occur to people that the brain is an organ also.

Confusion, fear, inability to work for years on end, hope that begins to repair and then shatters in an instant. Poor cognitive functioning, inability to explain much of it to anyone... "Is it bipolar, and does that even exist?" My T and Pdoc are certain I need to continue treatment. Denial. Fighting defeat through exhaustion. Afraid that over the hill I am fighting lies chaos and a runaway train, with shredded relationships in its wake.

In short, it shakes my very existence.

For the longest time no one but my family knew I was Bipolar. I still don't tell the world, but I have opened up close friends. I had a friend for 3 years and back in December I finally told him..not long after we stopped talking over something petty. 3 months later never heard from him again and I know it was because I told him I'm BP. Now I don't know who can handle knowing without judging me.

As someone else mentioned I find it difficult that I can be stable for months, sometimes years and then Boom I hit rock bottom. I can handle my manic states because I'm happiest then, I don't get full of rage or make really dumb decisions. When I think I've learned and gotten better control of this damn illness, it goes and kicks me in the butt reminding me I'm not as strong as I think I am.

I find the worse also that it's a daily battle with Myself! My thoughts get me in trouble, from getting fully depressed to having racing thoughts that don't let me sleep. If I was "normal" I know I would still be my own worse critic, but it's worse when you're BP.

You, in fact, describe how I've been feeling to the tee. I have so much to offer and my brain betrays me.

I understand what you mean about other people's reaction to my bp diagnosis. I've lost people along the way and they stop caring about me. It really hurts.how they cut you out of their lives. Know that only special friends really care. You don't need the ones who just stop talking to you. Remember that you really are strong! It's just this illness can kick us in the butt and hard. It doesn't make us weak or anything. We are stronger than we think. Be easy on yr self. Be kind to yr self. Hugs

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The debilitating episodes of depression that cause me to end up in the hospital almost every stinking time.

Oh, and feeling like everything is going along fine and dandy only to have the rug pulled out from under me.

Thanks! You're right. Yes it hurts because you think the friendship would mean something illness or not. I tell myself people come into my life for a reason, there's that saying some people come into your life for a season others for a lifetime. It's their choice, not mine to walk away and I try not to take it to heart but I'm so sensitive.

Hearing the jokes about the weather being bipolar or that bipolar is just an excuse

Life

That my sleep is unpredictable. That I have to take two and, at times, three medications... no, three and a half, since Lithium is a mild sedative... just to freaking sleep. I mean - sleep is a basic function, but it fails me miserably.