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#1
Mar 22, 2014, 06:46 AM
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My new meds are working but it seems like they stop at night. So I was supposed to commit suicide last Friday-Monday but meds kicked in and I didn't. Last night for some reason I was mad that I didn't even try. Like I failed before I could even fail or like I was bluffing. How do you get over the anger that you failed sui? Any other thoughts appreciated.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
 ahdm, Anonymous200280, BipolaRNurse, cashart10, swheaton
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#2
Mar 22, 2014, 07:56 AM
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I felt the same way every time I tried. I just get so sick of the struggle and the pain and for so little gain. It's like even when I try hard to maintain my mind betrays me.
__________________
Bipolar II - ADHD ~A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?~ Albert Einstein |
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#3
Mar 22, 2014, 07:57 AM
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I think its good that you didn't! Your family would be devastated.
__________________
Bipolar II - ADHD ~A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?~ Albert Einstein |
 Victoria'smom
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#4
Mar 22, 2014, 08:20 AM
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 I'm so glad you didn't! You sound so kind and loving...don't be angry. Rejoice.
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| Victoria'smom
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#5
Mar 23, 2014, 03:45 AM
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I too am very glad you didnt go through with it
I can tell when the zeldox is starting to wear off... It lasts 12 hours for me, I start to feel weird if I go more than 12 hours between doses, even if the doses are different strengths (ie 40 morning 60 night). Are you on an AP or AD? I've been mad at myself for failed sui too. Then frustrated with myself for even being in that state to start with! Then the guilt that comes with that... I can relate. |
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#6
Mar 23, 2014, 12:49 PM
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I'm kinda at the frustrated that it went so far and there was no way to stop it.
I have an AP as PRN for when my thinking is 'off' but your thinking isn't off when your suicidal  ( Go brain for rationalizing nonrational thoughts) I'm on viibryd ( which is suppose to be an AD/AP and pdoc doubled it the time before last which stopped the visions of gory suicide that were playing in my head and the hour long crying spells. Two weeks ago he added welbutrin 100 sr. I did well on welbutren with last pdoc but there's warning against if for people with eating disorders so current pdoc said "no, never" to welbutrin the first time I walked in years ago. My husband asked me to wait the 2 wks, but it was clear neither of us expected me to. I think the welbutrin runs out early around dinner.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
| Anonymous200280
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#7
Mar 23, 2014, 05:19 PM
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Just keep on your meds, and take more time to think about how the people around you would feel if you really did commit suicide. Life is sacred!
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