Just curious about what advice you'd give to your 18-y-old self.

(It's possible that this, or similar threads have been started before. Still, I think it's a relevant topic).

I'll start:

• Life's tough, but not so tough that it can't be overcome. Your paralyzing levels of fear are going to do more harm than good. Try to take care of them ASAP.
• Read Gabrielle Bernstein's books. You'll have no use for her writing later, because it gets fluffy and voodoo and you're going to disagree so much with her theories. For now, it's going to get the job done: you'll stop putting other people on pedestals, and you'll love people more equally (and this includes yourself, a person you currently seem to hate).
• Be more honest with your psychologists and psychiatrists. Report your manic and hypomanic symptoms. Report your cycles. That way, your BP might get diagnosed earlier, and you won't have to endure the pain of antidepressant-only treatment.
• Eat. Eat even when you don't feel like it. You need to eat. Every day. A few times a day.
• Don't be flippant and dismissive when your freshman and sophomore year roommates, as well as your best friend, try to tell you that you might have bipolar disorder. You think that BP is as "crazy" as it gets (bar schizophrenia), and there's no way you're that "crazy". Yes, your friends are college freshmen who don't have a psychology degree, and they might be prone to overreacting. Yes, BP is a serious disorder. Be more tolerant anyway. Read about BP. This might save you so much agony. Even if you don't believe in the BP, you'll pick up good life skills.
• Skepticism is good. Just don't be too skeptical, especially about things like DBT/CBT, living more healthily, self-care, etc. You have a masochistic side to you that's going to cause more harm than good if you don't get it in check.

[canada58]

Originally Posted by psychehedone

Just curious about what advice you'd give to your 18-y-old self.

(It's possible that this, or similar threads have been started before. Still, I think it's a relevant topic).

I'll start:

• Life's tough, but not so tough that it can't be overcome. Your paralyzing levels of fear are going to do more harm than good. Try to take care of them ASAP.
• Read Gabrielle Bernstein's books. You'll have no use for her writing later, because it gets fluffy and voodoo and you're going to disagree so much with her theories. For now, it's going to get the job done: you'll stop putting other people on pedestals, and you'll love people more equally (and this includes yourself, a person you currently seem to hate).
• Be more honest with your psychologists and psychiatrists. Report your manic and hypomanic symptoms. Report your cycles. That way, your BP might get diagnosed earlier, and you won't have to endure the pain of antidepressant-only treatment.
• Eat. Eat even when you don't feel like it. You need to eat. Every day. A few times a day.
• Don't be flippant and dismissive when your freshman and sophomore year roommates, as well as your best friend, try to tell you that you might have bipolar disorder. You think that BP is as "crazy" as it gets (bar schizophrenia), and there's no way you're that "crazy". Yes, your friends are college freshmen who don't have a psychology degree, and they might be prone to overreacting. Yes, BP is a serious disorder. Be more tolerant anyway. Read about BP. This might save you so much agony. Even if you don't believe in the BP, you'll pick up good life skills.
• Skepticism is good. Just don't be too skeptical, especially about things like DBT/CBT, living more healthily, self-care, etc. You have a masochistic side to you that's going to cause more harm than good if you don't get it in check.

That I was a bipolar addict

[atomicc]

-drugs aren't as cool as you think. You won't be able to casually drink and snort and take Vicodin, you will become an addict and it isn't pretty.
-don't cheat on your boyfriends. Don't hurt people, it will come back to bite you in the *****. You are not invincible.
-don't let Megan get started on drugs, love her, treasure her, make her go away to college.

[Confusedinomicon]

You aren't your disorder. My biggest hurdle (still is to a degree) was obsessing over the disorder and not taking responsibility for what I was capable of. I realized I could ask for help! Also forgiving myself for the things I can't control and not being so hard on myself.

I was diagnosed at 19.

I wish that I had known how precious time was, especially when I was still fairly young. I wasted so much time dwelling on what I didn't have, rather than focusing on what I could do with what I had.

My life would have been a lot different had I not focused on my emotionally neediness so much. I've spent the last 30+ years trying to fix my pain and fill up my neediness and sense of deprivation with something, because I didn't want to accept the pain or my fate. Now, 30+ years later, I still have the same pain, but now much of my life has passed by me, and there is not a lot of time life to make something of my life. Most everyone in my life, past and present, have written me off as a failure, disappointment, and embarrassment. Maybe I feel that way about myself now as well. I just don't know how to make up for all the lost time. And even if I could, the distressed part of me would probably continue getting in the way.

[Confusedinomicon]

I don't think it's ever to late to get involved in the community to the degree that you're able to. It may not be the success you pictured but there is worth in contributing to anything.

Try not to think of it as making up for what was lost because you'll put expectations on yourself that may paralyze you and prevent you from trying something new. I have pretty terrible anxiety but have learned to just do it, anyway. Therapy groups/out patient programs/volunteer things are usually a good place to start socializing. Baby steps!

[Standup2me]

I would give myself a kick in the butt and say
Do not get married at 18
You are too young

[Nammu]

Stand up to all those who told me to take a major because it had a better chance of employment instead of doing the major that I was excited about. Would have not dropped out and gotten married 8 credits shy of my degree. Would have not been where I was when it all turned wrong.

Follow your dreams, take chances.

[gayleggg]

I wish I had a better understanding of people.
I wish I had slowed down too.
I wish I had cherished the people who loved me more.

* Don't get irritated at strangers or people you won't have to deal with often. It's useless. If you can't do something about it, then don't think about it. The only person you can truly change is yourself.

I was doing really well at 18. I think the thing I would have liked to have been more aware of was how blindingly fast the years fly by. I knew that life went fast...but not THIS fast.

[~Christina]

To know that not every ones brain is screaming a billion mph
To reach out for help sooner
To be kinder to myself
And to know that I will be fine and have a happy life

[cherrykix]

Sex does not equal love

Sent from my SGH-T999L using Tapatalk

How damaged I was & how much havoc Gender Identity Disorder was going to cause throughout my life...

Originally Posted by Confusedinomicon

Try not to think of it as making up for what was lost because you'll put expectations on yourself that may paralyze you and prevent you from trying something new.

You are right about that. However, I feel like I'm just fooling myself anytime I remember how old I am or notice how people don't take me seriously anymore. Even if I'm able to motivate myself enough to complete something, would anyone even take it seriously, given all the years of failure in my background? Would my work or contributions be discounted or rejected by society because of who I am and what I haven't done in 50+ years? That does worry me a lot.

There are people in my life who I know view me as being disabled or mentally ill, or as a bum. I know that I will never get any more emotional support from them, since they will always view me that way from now on, even if I accomplish something important in the future. They will just say to me: "too bad you waited so long to make the effort,"or some other negative comment, implying that I chose for my life to be this way, and that any success now is too late (for them to respect).

So, these thoughts weigh me down even further. It is very difficult to get motivated or succeed at anything when nobody believes in me anymore. I still believe in myself, but the lack of support is painful for me, and is like a dark, heavy cloud over me, that is making it a hundreds times more difficult for me to climb out of this depression, even a little bit.

[Go Hungry]

You WILL start smoking in the summer of '98. I know you don't believe me. But you have this little condition called bipolar and you're going to be so far down that you think it won't matter since you plan to jump off that bridge at the end of summer. You survive, and now you're a smoker. Just don't start it man.

Also, that doctor is an idiot, the treatment for gout costs a whopping $10 a month. Kick him in the balls for me.

[Victoria'smom]

• your pregnant eat!!
• stay at mv but only go part time
• you went through hell yes prepare for more
• be honest with your doctors
• fk eat, its not fat its baby
• you have PPD/PPP you need to tell them
• You are not your sister mental health wont lock you up
• don't ever make your husband choose to loose you.
• yes, you are hearing things!
• get help before you ruin everything

[shortandcute]

I wish I knew I had bipolar back then.

[wildflowerchild25]

You don't need to go to college just because everyone expects you to. You're not ready, and that's ok, because you will be ready soon.

In fact you really don't have to do anything for anyone. Start living up to your own standards and not your family's because you will be happier.

It's ok to be angry at your parents. Feel that anger so you can forgive and move on.

You don't need to be sick to be valuable. You don't need to destroy yourself. You're valuable on your own. By the way, you will be reborn.

These are some great responses -- and many of the pointers are valuable even for those of us who are not 18. I can't wait to read what everyone else adds to the thread. Thank you to everyone who posted so far!

[SillyKitty]

That I had this. That drugs weren't an answer. That promiscuity wasn't an answer. And to never trust a friend of a friend offering you an open drink.

[Secretum]

-People are important. You think you can live life alone, but friends are essential to your happiness. I know that you don't believe you have the skills to relate to anyone else on this earth, but you can and will develop these skills. It will be a difficult process, but it will be worth it.

-College isn't going to be your salvation. Actually, you're gonna crash hard when you get there, and it will cause you great pain. But you will learn from the experience, not to get too excited over any one activity, and not to allow outside circumstances to dictate your happiness.

-Everyone has crises in their lives. Divorce, failure, loss of a loved one, financial distress...life has several different ways of slapping people hard, in the face. You must develop that courage and strength to make the best of ****** situations and get back up each time you're knocked down.

-Not all therapists are good therapists, or even good people. You will be disappointed that the person you pay to listen to you and validate you treats you poorly, but you will be encouraged when you see that some people that you've never given a cent to are there for you in ways you could have never imagined.

[Nammu]

Don't take antidepressants! Ever! Don't believe the Pdocs who tell you, side effects are all in your head. Run, run fast and hard from any Pdoc that tells you that and doesn't listen.

[littlemiss44]

I would tell her that she is lovable and worthwhile. Not to feel sorry for herself and take some action. I would tell her to not wait to get into therapy and get properly diagnosed asap. I've suffered for too many years not knowing what was truly wrong with me. I would tell her to love herself and be her own best friend. I would tell her that she can do anything she sets her mind to. To not love the first boy that showed interest in her. To know her worth. To stop listening to her abusive parents cause they don't have yr best interest at heart. To become a nurse. To learn quickly who her real friends are. To take more time to smell the roses and never forget that you are an important person and to not be so afraid to be yr self.

Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk

[Trippin2.0]

* That's your gut instinct, listen to it to avoid blue eyes and bruised ribs.

* Listen to your parents reservations and objections, they're not trying to ruin or run your life, they want what's best for you, so really take the time to hear them when they express why he's not what's best for you.

*Cherish Wesley, and be more forgiving of him. Yes he will be pretty mad at you come next year, but its not because he wants to run your life or he's disappointed in how you turned out. He didn't picture his baby sister becoming a mother so young and is grieving for how drastically your life will change before you're even grown up. So forgive him, reciprocate his efforts at repairing your relationship sooner, because he gets violently taken away from you very soon, and then grieving gets way more complicated than being anchorless.

*You were right you smartas.s. there's definitly something much more sinister at work in your brain than hormones You have legitimately suffered these past few years for a reason far beyond being ill equipped to deal with life. Turns out you really are crazy!