Does anyone "present" to people as being better than they really are?

I don't even know how to not "hide" because even if I'm not actually hiding I'm unable to look like a typical depressed person

Good question roads, for me I think it's a little bit of both. For the most part it does work for me. After giving it some thought, It's hard enough dealing with myself, I can't deal with peoples issues surrounding me. It takes every bit of energy for me to get through my day,I can't worry about how others are feeling about what I'm going through, tip toeing around, always looking at me, analyzing everything I do and say. I'd just rather concentrate on myself because that's truly were I need to be. Then there's the paranoid side that comes out. 10 hospitalizations, ECT, over medicated by doctors and nurses who really don't care and a lot of times don't have your best interest at heart. They sure haven't ever helped me. My biggest fear is that I would have to go through that again and I won't.

Does that answer or question or make any sense to you?

So you feel like you aren't able to express your emotions? That you aren't able to express yourself using body language? This sounds like something that could be repaired using psychotherapy possibly?? I don't know, just asking .

This is a bit complicated to answer but I will try most of the time when I'm having a depressive episode it isn't triggered by anything emotionally so it's just a depressive mood for me. Therefore I'm not going to be a crying emotional mess because that's not what depression is for me. On the other hand when my emotions are affecting me negatively I have no problem talking it out with myself and feeling it but I have trouble doing that in front of people when I need to. It's like a wall goes up and while I can communicate how I'm feeling, I won't appear to be affected by it which can influence whether people take me seriously or not.

I did all my 44 of life, or least 36 of them, until I started having meltdowns on my job for last 9 months and I was fired. Needless to say, I have been fired from at least 3 other jobs for the same type "outbursts". So yeah, I can fake it for a while but then my mask eventually always comes unglued.

This last year I came out with the BP and OCD to my co-workers. I was sick and tired of putting that fake smile on, but I still do. People say they never imagine it and I act so normal. I just say you know only 5% of me! you have no clue. It's weird how we hide so much, are we protecting ourselves, or them, or maybe both?

Yo, the bolded bit I totally get! It's like they think bipolar or other MI's are exactly what they show on TV and that it's super obvious when a lot of the time it isn't, smh... So when you are anything other than what they expect mental illness to look like they're like

Yup, I keep it to myself and those I'm really close. If only because of the stigma. Say 'bipolar' they hear 'batshoot crazy'. Not worth it.

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Only my dog knows how batsh*t crazy I really am, I hide it from everyone else in real life... it's easy because I have no friends.

I know how you feel. I thought I had a lot of friends. Went to rehab. Came to find out 99% of were really just drinking buddies.

But my puppies love me for me. And treats.

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I came out to all my coworkers, too, but they all said they weren't the least bit surprised. It seems like anyone who really knows me finds it obvious. Only my pdoc can't see it. lol

It does make sense. I carry that same fear, but I don't think I've ever admitted it before. Wow. Not sure I acknowledged it even to myself.

Thanks.
roads

Similar experience, wildflowerchild... I always feel I need to hold it together for everyone around me. However I've started realising it doesn't help anyone when I get sick- so I've actually started opening up more to therapists and family. It's a good feeling. Honesty is a good thing- especially with your husband!

I knew Someone who used to tell everyone how bad she was. At the first moment everypeople care of her till one day some of them started to be plenty sick. Then suddenly stopped to talk with her because they didn't want to be hearing hers issues when all of them have owns. She's still doing the same and she has lost a lot of friends in her way.
Years later I can't forget how bad she feels those days. So when my anxiety started to be so hard, I knew that no one cares how you feel.
In one hand you want to be honest, you need it, but in the other hand you have the people who don't care and the people who you don't want to be worried about it (mom, dad, hubby.... )
At the end of all of this I decided not to worry my family and some friends, I decided that there is a lot of people that I don't want to have their nose into my issues.
So I prefer to hide in my mask. If they don't know about me, they can't hurt me.
That is the reason why I find this group so important, because here I can really be honest.

Yep. Pretty much all the time. Some people would think Im lying if I told them how many times Ive been in the hospital or showed them my scars.

I even hide my feelings and most emotions from my family and friends. I isolate.

Hiding your symptoms is a defense mechanism...you want to appear normal..or what society considers normal. The only people that really know how I am feeling are my husband and my pdoc. Dont be afraid to open up to your pdoc.They are there to help. Know you are not alone.

I work in a HIGHLY stressful healthcare job (when able) which I think is part of the reason people see through me. My patients never know, and in groups I'm usually the quiet one (unless I'm off the rails manic, then all bets are off). In general, people who don't know me very well never see it, but anyone who spends considerable time with me knows something's wrong.

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