I feel that my Dean is being unfair

In 2012, I had to take a year off from university due to persistent ill health (physical and mental). Most of my assignments and exams were incomplete, and I was hospitalized often.

In Fall 2013, I returned to repeat my junior year. I've finished all of my coursework for the year, except for one exam that I missed on Friday because I was in the hospital. When I asked my dean if I could take a make-up, he said, "an objective observation: it is unusual how many times you have been ill during final examinations." and asked to speak to my doctors.

This "observation" comment ticked me off. I haven't asked for extensions or make-up exams even ONCE this academic year (prior to this). My dean knows about my persistent health issues. He knows that I'm registered with disability services. I wrote back to him to say that it was fine if he spoke to my doctors, and that although I have ill health throughout the year, it is only during final exams that protocol requires me to contact him.

I really hope that he doesn't make this whole process any more complicated than it has to be, or even denies my request for a make-up exam. He and the registrar seem to be pissed at me. I told my dean that I've completed ALL of my coursework for the year (which is a feat for me).

All I want is to be able to take my exam. I'm not trying to take advantage of anything, because (1) I'm disadvantaged in so many ways, and (2) the snark, worry, and red tape are not worth the the trouble.

Just wanted to get this off my chest and post here, since I have nobody else to talk to. Thanks for listening.

First of all, congratulations for getting thru college. It's a huge accomplishment.

Sounds suspicious that he wants to talk to your doctor. I don't think the doctor will do that for privacy reasons (HIPPA) without your permission. Besides being none of his business.

I would inform the disability group at school about his behavior. He is supposed to be making allowances for you.

You can also get a letterhead from the doc that say you "were under a doctor's care", being non-specific during the time you were inpatient.

Sounds like he is just an everyday ****. I'd do everything possible to escape his attention in the future.

Thanks for your reply, Wing.

At my university, any make-up exams have to be approved by the Dean. Usually I try to avoid him and talk to my professors directly, who have always been kind and very accomodating. However, sometimes I have no option but to talk to my dean. My friends say that he is a nice man, but he has always been difficult toward me, perhaps because of my mental health issues. A part of me wonders if all of this is part of the discrimination that those of us with MI face.

Generally, I provide non-specific notes when I am in the hospital. However, since the school year ended on Friday, by the time I left the university's inpatient services, its office was closed and nobody provided me a note. I don't even know which physician attended to me, because I was in such bad shape.

I don't know why he wants my permission to speak to the physician. Why do you think that I shouldn't give him permission? Right now, I'm between a rock and a hard place. I feel that I have no option but to give him permission. If that's what is necessary for me to take the exam, I will, since I have nothing to hide. My dean knows about my MI and health issues, since he required documentation from me when I had to take a year off from college.

If you or anyone else has suggestions, I'd love to hear. My Dean has not said anything about whether I will be allowed to take the make-up exam. Just that he wants to speak to my physician first, and that the frequency of my illnesses was "unusual".

Really, I am so proud of having gotten through this year without missing any deadlines, requiring any extensions, or taking any make-up exams! Yes, my grades haven't been great, but I'm pulling through and I'm trying my best. My dean should be looking that *that* instead of bringing up my old records (prior to my BP diagnosis and treatment).

Let him talk to your doctor, the doctor will make it clear that you are very sick, without going details... I would think.

Thanks Pawn. I told my dean by email that he could speak to the doctor who saw me at the university health center (not my usual pdoc). I don't know if there's additional paperwork involved. If there is, the dean can forward it to me, and I'll see if I can complete that online, since I'm not on campus anymore.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I agree with every one else that your doctor can explain the situation and your need to receive a makeup exam without having to go into detail. It really isn't his business or place to know your specific health issues, just to be accommodating to you. I hope that everything works out and congrats on making it through this year!

Thanks for the supportive thoughts, everyone! My dean hasn't responded to my last email, but I'll keep you all posted on how things go.

I want him to know that I'm not trying to take advantage of anything, because there are no advantages here. The make-up exam will be a newly written one (not the one my peers took, so I can't "cheat"), and it won't be curved (so no benefits there either).

He has no concept what it's like to try to function with a mood disorder.

I took a leave of absence in my Junior yr due to breakdown. The semester before that I had tremendous difficulty taking tests and being easily distracted. There were always at least 125 people arm-to-arm in tiny desks taking tests with coughing, sniffling, page-turning, books dropping, etc. going on during tests and I would lose my train of thought extremely easily. Every sound bothered me and sounds seemed like they were amplified. I got two D's and two F's that semester.

Have your Dr. give the diagnosis to your Dean and explain to the Dean the symptoms you have on a daily basis.

I wish you the best, psychehedone. I hope talking to your doctor arouses some compassion in him.

I hope having him talk to your doctor helps, but really i think that is more information then he is entitled to. A non specific note, or a letter from a doctor detailed needed accomodations should be all that is required. I don't think your doctor can say much because of confidentiality. I would talk to your school disability office to make sure that what he is doing is even legal.

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I think my dean is just being a jerk and giving me a hard time.

After I told him that he could talk to my doctor, he emailed back on a completely different vein, accusing me of not following protocol for postponed exams. Apparently I had to contact him and my registrar while I was in the hospital. WTF?! I was sedated the entire period that I was in the hospital, and contacted him as soon as I had access to a computer. I didn't write to my registrar, but my dean forwarded my email to her.

Why the sudden change of tone now? I wasn't even aware that I'd broken protocol. In the past, when I missed exams, I always just wrote to my dean and he contacted the registrar and professor. So I wrote him an email saying that I did as I did in the past, and that I was not told of any violations back then. I apologized about any unintentional misunderstandings on my part.

Honestly, I think he's just being an insensitive jerk for no reason. I don't understand why he's giving me a hard time. He's so kind to all of my friends, and goes out on a limb to help them. Maybe he just has a prejudice against those of us with MI. I mean seriously, now that he has permission to speak to my doctor, he's suddenly grilling me about meaningless "protocol"? Obviously because he has nothing else to go off on. Honestly, the protocol violation has no bearing on anything!! It's just paper-pushing!!

ARGH

I'm sorry to hear what you went through, Cool09. *hugs*

My docs might not tell my dean about the BP diagnosis, as they haven't in the past. Granted, I'm not sure that specific details are even necessary.

It truly sounds like he is just doing this to make your life difficult. With what you are saying about the way he changed to the whole protocol thing.

If he doesn't make things right in a couple of days I would go to the board of trustees and file a formal complaint against him.

Perhaps he's just covering all areas for example he's probably been a dean for a long time.

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V
M. Md

Thank you for your thoughts everyone. After I responded to his "protocol" email three days ago, I have not heard back from him since. This seems unprofessional. I will email again, because I would like a response soon.

You need to get in touch with Disability Services ASAP!! Tell them everything that's happened. They need to intervene because he is not treating you right.

I emailed him and the registrar yesterday evening, hoping that they would respond. They have not gotten back to me yet, and I am not sure what is going on.

You can also contact the Disability Rights chapter of your state, this is what they deal with, the legal side of disability access. Just google Disability Rights ( your state) and look for the state number. Even if this test gets resolved soon you should give them a call so that you can find out if they can help you arrange to make any future interruptions much smoother. One thing they can do is explain to the dean what the ADA law is and how to help, not impede a students progress.

I contacted the registrar and gave her a permission slip so that she could talk to the doctors too. This was partly to circumvent the dean, as he is MIA, and the registrar has some power.

The registrar was more reassuring. She said that I had provided enough information, and that I should be able to take my exam. She CC'd the dean. Now I just need a final thumbs-up from the dean. I hope he's more helpful now, and that the situation is resolved soon.

Good to hear, hope things get worked out for you soon!

Certainly you have a valid issue, but please try and understand their perceptions. Inevitably, they don't know much, if anything about bipolar disorder, and ignorance leads to prejudice. You could greatly improve relations if you were to give them the background information they need (but don't know they need) in order to understand your position. You must be fair with them too. And remember, the truth will always stand the test of verification.

Thank you for the thoughtful response, Outlaw Sammy. With BP, I find that sometimes we tread a fine line between providing critical information and divulging material that puts us in danger. Of course, the latter sometimes has to do with the ignorance of the other party. Tact is of the essence.

My situation seems to have been mostly resolved, but do you have suggestions for how to tactfully explain BP to others -- especially to deans, professors, and possibly employers?

So far, I've managed to figure out how to discuss MI with family and friends, but other groups of people (e.g. authority figures. Surely there are others, can't think of any off the top of my head, but if anyone has suggestions please throw them in) remain a challenge.

Thanks.

For three years, I belonged to a bipolar support group until I moved away. Within that group, no one would openly admit their illness because of fear of discrimination. I got tired of arguing that we must be candid if we are to educate others. No one would ever agree with me - and I was very frustrated.

Currently, I tell those who have "a need to know." And when I do, I offer them as much or as little information as they like. Some just like to "cut to the chase," while others "want the big picture." I'm not pushy, but I let them know that I'm open to questions.

But Be Advised - there are some people who will dislike/hate you no matter how candid you are. If you can identify the type in advance, don't tell them anything - ever.

Take away Sammy's hammer! He just hit the nail on the head!

Thanks Sammy! That was very helpful. If others have thoughts regarding the matter, I'd love to hear more.