6 Month Evaluation

I'm having my first evaluation since starting treatment last June 2013 and starting meds Oct. 2013. I am getting very anxious. What should I expect? I am hoping I can be honest and not too overtly positive as my situation is no better than when I started. In fact it may be worse. Since starting Depacote, it has brought me down slightly to a point that I have given up finding work and I am desparate to pull in some income or I'll be walking to therapy at 6 miles one way, 4 miles to grocery store, 6 miles to Wall Mart, etc. I haven't worked in 3 years and am getting desparate.

The only thing better is I haven't had my rifle out practicing on myself like I did prior to medicine, but it has crossed my mind once or twice. I haven't tried any jobs that I couldn't handle to get into that dispair, so I don't know if it's my medicine helping on that or if it's the lack of having a real life. Jobs for me have always been my life, my life support, my focus, my everything. After all without money there's no sense in breathing.

Anyone want to come finish me off? I promise I won't get mad.

(((Lmciyah))) Remember that your job is to be working on getting well, not to make your therapists/psychiatrists feel good about themselves. I assume they will be asking questions about how you are doing. And I suggest you tell them just what you are telling us. Not getting any better, in fact seems to be getting worse, job loss, wanting to end life, etc. They need to know, so they can make changes in your treatment. That is their job--to help you to get better!

I don't think any of us want to finish you off. We want you to live, to come here to post, and to get better! Okay? We care!

Lmciyah: I have a short message for you: GET RID OF THE GUN(S)!!! I, The Skeezyks, have spoken!

Ya, I agree. Get rid of the guns. If you get impulsive at times, that could be really dangerous and it doesn't sound like you're a very good place anyway right now.
I've had a few instances where I had to de-suicide my surroundings because as much as I said I wanted to die, the feelings did pass.

You absolutely have to be honest during your evaluation. If you don't then how can they help you further?