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#1
Jun 11, 2014, 07:02 PM
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So I'm new to this "online support" but I thought I would give it a try. My family knows I'm bipolar II and so do some friends but NO ONE at work or anywhere else knows and I get very upset when people find out my "secret" I'm sooooo exhausted pretending 2 be happy all day at work and pretending 2 be happy w my friends and pretending 2 be happy for my family so they don't worry about me. But it's getting harder and harder 2 pretend, I feel sad and lonely all the time even with friends and family. I'm really "weepy" everytime im bored I have 2 stop myself from crying. Ive been on Meds and therapy once a week since January but I feel like telling them 2 F*** off because I'm still so sad and at least b4 the Meds I had some highs. Now I'm more even keeled (sp?) but it seems like me being even is me being depressed. I don't know why I can't just be happy I have everything I need but for some reason all I feel is lonely and blue. I just needed 2 vent.
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#2
Jun 12, 2014, 05:26 AM
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Welcome to PC!
It is not easy that most people do not know what we go through and it isolates us in a way. I can understand your frustration with this and also with the masks that we wear, the desire to keep it to yourself from only those that know and care about you, and especially keeping it from coworkers. However, even when family and friends know, they can be empathetic, but they can not sympathize because they do not know what it is like. They try to understand but can only know so much because they have not been through it. It is up to us to help them understand by reaching out to them so we do not feel so alone. Too, many places also have support groups in our areas that can help; it is just a matter of reaching out to find them. There is nothing wrong with wanting more and it is so hard to find the right balance. It takes constant adjustment and staying in tune with ourselves. It sounds like you are really good at noticing this. If you feel that you are still weepy, sad, and depressed, contact your pdoc to let them know; they can help. Do not settle for less than trying to find the right balance for you. Hang in there meanwhile! 
__________________
 I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it. -M.Angelou Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. -Anaïs Nin. It is very rare or almost impossible that an event can be negative from all points of view. -Dalai Lama XIV |
 usehername
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#3
Jun 13, 2014, 07:49 AM
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How are you doing?
__________________
I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it. -M.Angelou Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. -Anaïs Nin. It is very rare or almost impossible that an event can be negative from all points of view. -Dalai Lama XIV |
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#4
Jun 13, 2014, 12:52 PM
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Am hoping that being in this group will help you. It helps me to read people's posts & realize that there are many out there who are going through the same things I am. You are not alone!!
__________________
Dixie
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