Exhausted...

Life seems so simple for so many people; and so many people in my life (my family) tell me to just, "be more positive" and "just relax", along with many more. Simple tasks are difficult to even attempt to do. Taking care of my children, whom I love more than words can say, consumes my whole day, everyday, because I cannot figure out how to create time to do anything else. Feeling like a bouncy ball, having melt downs, feeling like giving up, crying all the time; I am 30 and feel 60. Life is tiresome and difficult to live. Loneliness on top of it, feeling isolated, even though I have a significant other and children around me everyday, they don't understand. I don't have any real friends. No one can ever fully understand anyone else in life, but as you all can relate, it's frustrating, lonely, and tiresome to attempt to explain that the way we are is out of our control. Trying news meds and still trying to find stability. Hugs to those feeling the same.

yeah...if only life were as simple as it looks. from the outside it looks like I have a good life...a good job, a nice car, a nice little apartment, supportive people im my life.....but im scared and alone and it takes everything in me to make it through a day. none of those supportive people call me and I am too afraid to reach out to them and let them know how I am feeling. agoraphobia keeps me trapped in my home where I sit in the dark running up debt on my computer and playing games on pc to pass the time. only pc people know how I am doing. lucky for me, after years of working at it, many frustrating years, my meds are stable, but now my pdoc has put me on antidepressants because she has discovered I have no joy in my life. I can only hope this doesn't throw me into a mania. waiting. don't need that chaos. just exist day to day and recover on the weekends. no, you are not alone in your struggles. hang in there.

I second that. This life is not and easy one. It's so lonely and isolating. I have no significant other and that's ok with me but I've isolated so bad that the only way I communicate with anyone is mostly through facebook.

What a pitiful life.

I know what you mean. I've been thinking of asking for an antidepressant however, 15 years ago well before bp diagnosis, I was placed on one. 5 years later, I wound up in bankruptcy, got arrested once which cost me my job. I've told my dr. I will not take something with amphetamines in it again. I didn't know then what was in it. It was Prozac

Feeling exactly the same. Hugs to you too.

I hear you. All the hugs.

Believe when I say, I may be extremely lucky to have a significant other that is willing to stick by me, but it's literally one day at a time, I don't know how he does it. I am fearful everyday he will completely be done and say he cannot do it anymore. It's been said before, many a time, still going, but thin ice and difficult relationship.

Do not feel like The Lone Ranger. I know exactly how it feels to be isolated. If I did go out to try to find me a gf, there's no way I could stop the negative thoughts and that's all gets worse every day I get older.

I hear you there, getting older, symptoms worsening. It's so frustrating. And I hear you about pushing away relationship wise...I do nothing but push my significant other away, and I don't know why. And the worst aspects are the jealousy and rage that comes along with it, and I cannot every fully trust. It's exhausting.