[Phillipv]

*May contain triggers*

New to the forum. I've gone the last two years self managing without meds, and though it's been difficult, I've managed with the support of my wife. Now, however, I have discovered that she is having an affair, and she has asked for a divorce. Along with this, many other factors have contributed to a loss of control. For the first time in two years, I gave into desire and self harmed. I'm unsure of what course of action to take. My moods have not been this severe in quite some time, and when they have I've had an external support. Seeking advice. Thank you!

[lonelychick]

First of all, welcome to psych central! I hope you can find the support you need here. I've also struggled with SI in the past. I've currently got a little over 2 years under my belt (my longest stretch by far). I can only imagine how difficult this is for you right now. I know you said you're not taking any meds, but are you seeing a therapist or a counselor of any kind? That may be a good next step, especially with all the external triggers right now. He or she can help you get some healthy coping skills.

If you're interested, here's a couple things I've found helpful. Of course, every person is different. I journal. Sometimes obsessively. I count things, also sometimes obsessively. When I can get out of bed, walking helps, even if its just pacing around the room. I talk to my cat. I know it sounds strange, but he listens. I scream along with heavy metal music. Lots of people swear by calming routines (baths, teas, oils, etc), but I've always had better luck with more physical stuff (cleaning, screaming with music, anything that gets me moving). Again, everyone is different. Sorry this was such a long response. I hope things get better for you soon. I'm on here all the time, so send me a message if you ever need to chat!

[pawn78]

my advice: find a good Pdoc, preferably one that does therapy as well as prescription. (I found one like that, I see him once/month for an hour of psychotherapy, and he prescribes my meds too.

I WISH I had done this a long time ago. I just started seeing him a few months ago, and the meds are really helping now that I am up to the therapeutic dose.

It is really hard to self-manage this disease, I did it for YEARS, but it was a struggle. Particularly if I was triggered like you are being triggered now by a possible divorce! If i had a therapist and Pdoc the last time I was heavily triggered, I probably wouldn't have ended up in the ER with extreme scary mania.

Sorry you are going through this.

[Curiosity77]

I went into a severe depression, followed by a mixed state and landed in hospital when I got divorced. It was really brutal, and very destabilizing. So I really feel for you. I'm around to talk if it helps. I think it's a good idea to connect with a therapist and pdoc right now.

[Phillipv]

Thank you for all of your responses. It seems the general concensus is that I should seek medical assistance, which of course I've considered, but hearing it from outside sources really validates the idea. I am going to start searching for a potential doc right away. Really appreciate the advice. Thank you.