I'll tell ya I haven't felt this angry in a long time. Ugh....I'm taking risperdal again. It sucks. I'm taking 75mg lamictal, 50 mg doxepin for sleep, 50mg zoloft, 2mg loazapam for sleep, 30mgs buspar for anxiety, 10mgs inderal for anxiety.

I don't want more meds. I'm starting therapy for ptsd again. It's soooo hard. My traumas were complex. Many... I'm just so tired of it, ugh!!!!

I feel like ending it, but I keep telling myself I can't let the abusers win. I tried posting on the PTSD forum but didn't have much luck. So I'm posting here, I'm desperate....any encouraging thoughts???

[glok]

Hello, sunshine1995. Have you discussed your concerns with your treatment team?

[wildflowerchild25]

PTSD is very tough to deal with, but you're right, you can't let the abusers win by giving up. You have the power now. You're not a victim, you're a survivor. There is someone in my group going through exposure therapy to deal with trauma righ now and I see it helping her in small ways already. She was basically housebound and now she is able to take walks around her apartment complex by herself. So coming to terms with trauma is possible and you can do it! We're all here for you!

[sarahblue]

I remember feeling so much anger when I first started to deal with the trauma of growing up in an alcoholic family.

Sometimes exercise can be a release. So can prayer. Sometimes I would to say the Serenity Prayer over and over again, almost like a mantra.

Richard Zwolinski, who is a blogger on PsychCentral, has said something that I think is REALLY important for therapy for PTSD. Your therapist shouldn't just dive into the trauma. It is important to learn coping skills FIRST, such as grounding activities, before bringing up all the old stuff.

I learned this the hard way. I spent several years in therapy with a woman who was supposedly experienced in working with PTSD patients. I finally realized that her version of therapy had me reliving the experiences instead of learning to move past them and live in today.

Good luck to you and take good care.

[Atypical_Disaster]

I've noticed that when a lot of people with mental health issues feel angry, they tend to want to turn it in on themselves... which is what I think may be happening with you since you mentioned wanting to end it all. It sounds like you need to find a way to express your anger in a safe way that works for you.

It seems to me like you're fairly isolated right now, as you know that definitely doesn't help. I think if you had someone to talk to, therapist or not, you would probably feel a lot better.

That's my take on it. Also, you know how to reach me if you do want to talk to someone.

[swheaton]

Never let the abusers win. It's taken me a long time to learn to handle the abuse I received from my ex husband. You can do it too.

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling a little better. I start therapy next Wednesday. I hope it works. Thanks again for taking the time to read my rant, lol.