[Skitz13]

Hi everyone

I need a little advice. I'm not sure where to begin.
In the last 5 years I've turned down many invitations to go out on dates. Mostly I've not wanted to get involved because of the BP. I would never disclose and was always afraid I'd end up in an episode, I was isolating and I just couldn't go through with it.

For the last while my friend has been harassing me over this one particular guy and I've been telling her no forever. This has continued. Well on the weekend after a few drinks it didn't seem like such a bad idea. So it was set up for tonight. He's driving 2 hours for this and is on his way.

Right now I'm doing work around the trauma of being abused by my previous 2 husbands.
Well...I started thinking about it last nigh and I started to get scared but didn't say anything to my friend, I thought maybe today would be better. This morning it was no better and got myself so worked up I couldn't even make my T appt. I'm totally paralyzed. I'm just freaking out for all the reasons mentioned above.

NOW WHAT DO I DO? The anxiety is overwhelming. I thought I could do this but I'm terrified.

So...any suggestions????

[optimistic_dolphin]

i wish i have good advice
do u hv your T's no? Can u contact her, e.g. call or email?
let someone know about ur situation, so they can help for the least

[lilypup]

Personally i think you should try to go. If thid guy is willing to drive two hours he must be interested to meet you. Your friend is just trying to help.
I don't how old you are but I will tell you my experience with disclosure. I am 55 and have always been afraid to telol people. But my daughter who is 26 said "Mom, it's not a big deal. Ppl know more today and they just don,t get very excited about it." So once I get to be someone's friend I usually disclose in a positive manner. That way down the road if I am down in ed, I can tell then I am just depressed and not have to make up excuses and lie.
On the other hand, if you just CANT go, dont go. Dont force urself if you might cry or something. All u can do is the best u can.

Excuse the typos, my hands are shaky.

[Skitz13]

Originally Posted by optimistic_dolphin

i wish i have good advice
do u hv your T's no? Can u contact her, e.g. call or email?
let someone know about ur situation, so they can help for the least

Thank you, yes I've already e-mailed her

[Skitz13]

Originally Posted by lilypup

Personally i think you should try to go. If thid guy is willing to drive two hours he must be interested to meet you. Your friend is just trying to help.
I don't how old you are but I will tell you my experience with disclosure. I am 55 and have always been afraid to telol people. But my daughter who is 26 said "Mom, it's not a big deal. Ppl know more today and they just don,t get very excited about it." So once I get to be someone's friend I usually disclose in a positive manner. That way down the road if I am down in ed, I can tell then I am just depressed and not have to make up excuses and lie.
On the other hand, if you just CANT go, dont go. Dont force urself if you might cry or something. All u can do is the best u can.

Excuse the typos, my hands are shaky.

Hi thanks, I'm 50 and my daughter talks the same way your's does. I can't help it, it's a big deal to me. I've always hidden it, especially for professional reasons. I'm conditioned I guess.

I know my friend just wants the best for me and is trying to get me "back out there, but I've been a lot sicker the last 5 years and my confidence is shot. She says I have absolutely nothing to worry about. She's known him for over 30 years and I know she wouldn't stear me wrong, I'm sure.

Guess it's time to bring out the old coping skills. Thank you so much for your support, I really do appreciate it.

[sarahblue]

How did it go?

[pawn78]

You have to start loving yourself, disorder and all. If you can;'t love yourself, just the way you are, how can you have intimacy with someone? Just be who you are, let it all hang out. What is the worse that can happen? I'll tell you: he freaks out and runs for the door...so what? Do you really even want to be with a guy who can't handle your extreme moods? NO!

So just let it out. I personally find it VERY HOT when a woman is self-confident and not afraid to show her weaknesses and short-comings.

And it is not like all this stuff has to come up on the first date. You can just talk a little and get to know each other. And if it DOES come up, be nonchalant about it. Like, "oh yeah, I have bipolar disorder, hahaha, hope that doesn't freak you out honey!"

[Skitz13]

Originally Posted by sarahblue

How did it go?

We are having breakfast this morning. NO HE DIDN'T STAY lol Nice guy, good sense of humor. Made me feel instantly comfortable. Thought I sabotaged it but apparently not.
Thanks for asking

[Skitz13]

Originally Posted by pawn78

You have to start loving yourself, disorder and all. If you can;'t love yourself, just the way you are, how can you have intimacy with someone? Just be who you are, let it all hang out. What is the worse that can happen? I'll tell you: he freaks out and runs for the door...so what? Do you really even want to be with a guy who can't handle your extreme moods? NO!

So just let it out. I personally find it VERY HOT when a woman is self-confident and not afraid to show her weaknesses and short-comings.

And it is not like all this stuff has to come up on the first date. You can just talk a little and get to know each other. And if it DOES come up, be nonchalant about it. Like, "oh yeah, I have bipolar disorder, hahaha, hope that doesn't freak you out honey!"

LOL thanks pawn. It went well. I will take your advice. I will definitely see him again, actually this morning

[Disorder7]

Yay you!
It's a little late now, but I was going to tell you to just go and think of it as meeting a new friend, not necessarily a romantic interest.

Hey, if it doesn't work out romantically, you still may end up with a friend who is willing to drive two hours to be with you. Not everyone has someone like that.

[Skitz13]

Originally Posted by Disorder7

Yay you!
It's a little late now, but I was going to tell you to just go and think of it as meeting new a friend, not necessarily a romantic interest.

Hey, if it doesn't work out romantically, you still may end up with a friend who is willing to drive two hours to be with you. Not everyone has someone like that.

Ya, that's what I have been thinking. I'm not really sure I'm there yet. He's such a nice guy but I'm not ready

[Disorder7]

You may not be ready for romance right now. But if you two get along I would try to keep him at least as a friend.
I've isolated myself over the years and cut off lots of people who just wanted to be there for me. I realize now that may not have been the smartest thing to do. But it's done now.
Today I'm trying harder not to shut everyone out.