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#1
Jul 17, 2014, 08:38 PM
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Me again...I hope everyone is having a good night. I am a little goofy and just in the mood to post so here's what's on my mind. I am deciding whether to drink coffee all night and stay busy or avoid the coffee and try to sleep (or at least lay down and rest). I know the right answer but I feel really good and I would love to perpetuate the feeling. Mostly, I am intent to continue this while hoping not to become delusional. I don't have control over it mostly anyway and I AM still taking all of my meds as prescribed so I can't imagine this becoming a full blown episode. I will probably continue as usual and try to get some sleep. But, at least for now, that coffee is on reserve. Anyone else ever tempted to chase their high?
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
 Road_to_recovery, Serra27
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#2
Jul 17, 2014, 09:16 PM
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No. If I am NATURALLY high, I will stay up really late, and I have done that lately. But I WON'T take a bunch of caffeine at night and artificially push myself into an unhealthy state of mind. I only drink a moderate amount of caffeine during the day. Also, I try to get at least 6 hours of sleep/night if possible, because I know all too well what can happen if I don't. I also take my meds religiously as soon as I wake up every morning.
However, am I high? OH YEAH!  Am I manic? You better believe it! My point is, if you are feeling high, it is better to try your best to stay stable and enjoy your high, rather than push yourself into a dangerous frenzy using stimulants!  
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Bipolar 1 ~ 300mg Lamictal, 4mg Ativan
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#3
Jul 17, 2014, 09:47 PM
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It's a pipe dream, especially since I have young kiddos (and until I'm manic I enjoy my sanity), but, you better believe I don't miss being so high I actually thought I was experiencing Heaven. 10 more minutes of that...
Enjoy your high as well. 
__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
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#4
Jul 17, 2014, 10:14 PM
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I sometimes make myself stay up so that I can push into hypomanic type feelings. It doesn't usually work all that well, but sometimes it makes me feel good. I don't need caffeine to do it though, I just skip my saphris and I don't sleep. I did that for a couple of days over a long weekend a couple months ago, and I had fun. I know it's a dangerous game to play, so I totally don't recommend it, but it's something I do occasionally.
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"Does the body rule the mind, or does the mind rule the body?" "Those who feel the breath of sadness, sit down next to me. Those feel they're touched my madness, sit down next to me. Those who find themselves ridiculous, sit down next to me." |
 cashart10
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#5
Jul 17, 2014, 10:45 PM
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I learned the hard way that chasing the high leads to disastrous consequences. A few years after being diagnosed I remember trying to push a manic episode higher with 3+ energy drinks a day. Not only was that stupidly expensive, I didn't sleep for at least 4 days straight, ended up writing tens of pages of nonsensical music, psychotically believed that I could heal people with my secret music, ended up in the ER because a friend told me to go, luckily they didn't keep me but made sure I was seeing my pdoc soon because I was "very manic". They prescribed sleeping pills and when I went to the pharmacy the next day to pick them up this was the conversation:
Pharmacist: "Any medical conditions?" Me: "Bipolar." Pharmacist: "Have you ever had a manic episode?" Me: "Yes." Pharmacist: "..... are you having one right now?" Me: "*uproarious laughter* YOU CAUGHT ME!" Apparently when I'm manic, the professionals can tell just by looking at me. It was wonderful and fun, but the higher I go, the harder I fall, and I am very glad I lived through the depression that happened after that. I've learned my lesson and am not going to recklessly attempt to chase mania again. The trick is to do everything you can to stay OUT of mania, because the moment my judgement is compromised, everything goes to hell. EDIT: Oh and just because you're on meds doesn't mean you won't go full blown manic, especially if you're chasing it. I've had spectacular manic episodes even while taking high doses of APs.
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Bipolar I with psychotic features/GAD/Transgender (male pronouns please) Seroquel/Abilify/Risperidone/Testosterone My Bipolar Poetry Anthology Underneath this skin there's a human Buried deep within there's a human And despite everything I'm still human I think that I'm still human |
| cashart10, pawn78
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#6
Jul 17, 2014, 10:45 PM
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Yes, all the time. Actually, I am myself right now lol I should go to sleep, I know I function better; I just want to stay up and do things I do not get to during the day, plus it's fun lol I am drinking a coke and reading up on here right now...loopy I guess, you think?!
__________________
"Those who feel the breath of sadness, sit down next to me. Those who feel they're touched by madness, sit down next to me. Those who find themselves ridiculous, sit down next to me." Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety, Self-injury Meds Abilify Zoloft Ativan |
| cashart10, Curiosity77
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#7
Jul 17, 2014, 11:36 PM
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Used to. Anymore the price I pay the next day is sheer hell (severe anxiety, agitation), so...unfortunately, not any more.
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| cashart10
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| cashart10
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#8
Jul 18, 2014, 12:08 AM
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Jeez, it is 1:00 am, and I am still wide awake...no caffeine, just my own whacked out brain.
__________________
Bipolar 1 ~ 300mg Lamictal, 4mg Ativan
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| cashart10
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#9
Jul 18, 2014, 02:04 AM
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Quote:
__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
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#10
Jul 18, 2014, 02:07 AM
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3 AM here. Took my meds ages ago, can't sleep. I'm making spaghetti.
__________________
Bipolar I with psychotic features/GAD/Transgender (male pronouns please) Seroquel/Abilify/Risperidone/Testosterone My Bipolar Poetry Anthology Underneath this skin there's a human Buried deep within there's a human And despite everything I'm still human I think that I'm still human |
| cashart10
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#11
Jul 18, 2014, 02:19 AM
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Quote:
__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
| Avatar10, TheatreKid
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#12
Jul 18, 2014, 09:49 AM
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I would have been so down for that if I hadn't thankfully fallen asleep half an hour after posting that.
__________________
Bipolar I with psychotic features/GAD/Transgender (male pronouns please) Seroquel/Abilify/Risperidone/Testosterone My Bipolar Poetry Anthology Underneath this skin there's a human Buried deep within there's a human And despite everything I'm still human I think that I'm still human |
| cashart10
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#13
Jul 18, 2014, 04:32 PM
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Sounds like it was going around last night lol. I didn't crash til around 4am this morning, jsut couldn't sleep!
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| TheatreKid
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| cashart10
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