Wife needs some help too...

Ok. My wife always makes my bp worse... a day off from work is like a day in hell.. she never smiles at me.... rarely looks me in the eyes.. and acts pissed I'm not off doing some household chore... if I'm doing something for 30 minutes it always seems like those 30 minutes she decides to get motivated and do things... this just ticks me off.. like a set up to fail.. all I want is some positivity. .. tired of this b.s. it helps to lead to 0 happiness. . 2 sides to each story but any suggestions?

By the way we have a 6 year old a 3 year old and a 1 month old.... but none the less she gives me 0 breaks.. she's a stay at home mom and I've worked 17 or so days straight. 7 am to 3 pm. ... just extra info

Has she always been this way ? I see you have a brand new baby .. Could she be dealing with post postpartum?

If shes acting this way toward you for a long time maybe couples counseling could be helpful.

Sorry your going through this.

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Basically this has been on going since day one... and as soon as we find out I was bipolar it all just ramped everything up to a new level...... she's a straight forward, matter of fact type personality.. get it done. Don't complain. Do it.. even my therapist said that so it's not crazy talk unless my quack is a quack. ..

Do you think she would be willing to try couples counselling? If she isnt willing to try .. where does that leave your relationship? Do you have a Therapist?

I have a therapist and we have a marriage counselor (therapist).. so 2.. she has came to my normal therapist appointments on occasion as well as my psychiatrist appointments a couple times... problem is she thinks she gets it when she honestly doesn't have a real clue to the depth of this

I am sorry you are going through this hard time with your wife Loophole. I can say I have been the wife who didn't look in her husband's eyes, didn't smile, etc. I was going through depression and basically just going through the movements to get through the day, get through my responsibilities. I didn't feel connected to my dh or excited about life. I was just... existing. Maybe she is going through a rough spot herself. Perhaps there is a lack of connection there between you and her. When was the last time you two got a break away from the kids just to be a couple? I hope things improve for the both of you.

Curious. Arm you bp or your husband?

I am BP and my husband has a history of situational depression/anxiety. He also has very mild OCD.

That must be very very tough.. I'm sorry..

Sounds ugly. I would guess the drive home isn't very fun even. Sorry!

Not so much...... don't wanna be at.work... home sure sucks.... but here I can see my kids and try to stay out of the limelight. . It's still quite stressful though

i have had some similar situations with my girlfriend. we have an 18 month old daughter and she has a 10 year old son. both her and her son have adhad, and sometimes the house seems so small. i do things around the house to clean up, i focus my engery on my daughter, or going out and running errands, i normally work 6 days a week, 9 to 7. sometimes less. it is a lot to deal with. and it does push my bipolar when there is so much going on with them, my dad off is hard because of everyhting going on at the house. but i do try to get out with them to the park or book store or something to diffuse things.

Its not so bad. We're both pretty self aware and high functioning. Anyway, it sounds like you and your wife could use a break, a chance to reconnect and a chance to appreciate each others' efforts. Have you heard of the book The Five Languages of Love? They are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. What makes you feel loved? What makes her feel loved?

Yep heard of the five languages of love. Read the book.. we're on different spectrums.. I've tried to meet her needs countless times.. she tells me she can't... I've done to much harm apparently

How long have you been married?

7 years total

Aaaahhhh.... the 7 Year Itch! Lol

Have you told her straight up you want more positivity? That her averted gaze makes you feel lonely and her constant frustration with you makes you feel really bad?

Well not precisely but I have been more clear on how she makes me feel..

Question of the day... let's just say I'm p O'D right now and rightfully so ( wife made a comment about me being crazy when our 6 year old was listening standing right there) can my wife trigger me?

I'm beyond ticked right now. She had to go somewhere... called one of my 2 therapists and he's supposed to be calling back tonight when he has a chance.. if I have the time (I try to stay on same sleep pattern) I'll probably go to a restaurant and grab a coke and talk with him...... (I'm highly fortunate to have a therapist that is this involved and we have a great relationship even though he sometimes tells me what I don't want to hear.... sorry to drown on.. anyway can my wife trigger me? She says absolutely not that only I can trigger me!? Ufhxbxndoeixnxndjsk

Anything can be a trigger.

Yah.. exactly. .

I would be pissed too if my significant other made a remark like that in front of the kids. How did your conversation with your T go?