[Love&Toil]

Grrrrr. Feeling very critical of others AND myself right now. This is not fun. I have been literally growling today. Not fun. So pissed off right now. I know this will pass but I hate it. I think this is how some hypomania manifests for me--really agitated relentless energetic self-flaggelation and self-hate... along with irritability with others.

I am having trouble accepting this diagnosis today because I think I have a relatively mild version..... must remember everything is dampened down by meds and remember what life was like before meds. Definitely more intense up and down.

I feel angry with myself for a purchase I made when I was really involved in looking for a woman on the side (bisexual). I had made plans with someone that fell through. It was supposed to be for those plans. I wish I didn't buy it and it's just burning a hole in my purse. I feel so odd walking around with it and thinking how people have no idea I have it. But it was so right at the time.

[pawn78]

Been there. Extreme irritability was the main reason I finally decided to get professional help. It was ruining my life.

[Love&Toil]

Yeah the Abilify is supposed to help with that but so far it just takes the edge off. At a higher dosage I feel excruciatingly bored and flat.

Does the Lamictal make you far less irritable?

I wonder if I removed the Abilify and added Lamictal instead, if that would be a good thing? To discuss with my pdoc...

[pawn78]

Yes, Lamictal works great for me. Keeps my irritability subdued. Marijuana also worked wonders, but was really not practical in any way, especially since the effects wear off so quickly. I was using marijuana for 6 months to keep my irritability away, but once I got up to 200 mg of lamictal, I was able to quit the weed immediately with no problems. Lamictal is my wonder-drug. Doesn't work for everyone though.

[Love&Toil]

Too bad maryjane makes me paranoid.

[pawn78]

Originally Posted by Love&Toil

Too bad maryjane makes me paranoid.

Yeah, it has its downsides, which is why I sought out something else. I am glad to be off maryjane, it is too strong, and can have bad side-effects on mentally unstable people. Try out Lamictal, if you aren't allergic, it is great.

[Hobbit House]

can you go up to 5mg on your Abilify without feeling flat. I'm on 15 mg of Abilify myself with 40 mg of Prozac and 40 mg buspar 2x daily

[Love&Toil]

I can't remember how high we went before I felt that. It wasn't very high though. You're saying 5mg justusryans - will check with pdoc and my records...

[Hobbit House]

that's right or even 4mg if 5 is too high. But if it works I wouldn't get off of it

[Love&Toil]

I know but how do I know it's working to full effect when I still get like this? I know it's so much better than it had been before, I used to get really really intense, but now I can still get more agitated than I want to be.

[cashart10]

I'm so sorry you are feeling agitated. I hope you have some stability or some happy hypo mania soon! FYI...I am on 30mg of Abilify and still experience agitation at times (like now).

[Hobbit House]

sorry to hear that, I hope it works for you

[Love&Toil]

Thanks guys! I know this will pass....... hoping to have some happy hypo too but NOT the kind where I spend money. LOL

[Love&Toil]

Feeling a lot better today. Made sure to get up at a decent time and eat breakfast. Ran an errand, started laundry. To start cooking now and dishes. Hoping to keep busy and feel good about myself for getting things accomplished. Getting kids on board to do chores after lunch. So far so good.

Will squirrel away the offending item I bought before....who knows, I will probably swing that way again (pun intended) and may be glad I still have it.

[pawn78]

Oops wrong thread.

[~Christina]

Do you chart your moods ? The reason I ask is it can help patterns show that you might not be aware of .. Possible links to monthly cycles etc.. Its also a very good idea to chart them when making any meds changes .. In the middle of feels crappy its hard to think clearly where charting moods can often show highs and lows coming before you actually "see them" . I always charted at the end of the day .. I would self ground and it only takes a few minutes.

they have phone apps or good old pen and paper works too.

I feel for you I do I get the angry annoyed self hate filled hypo

[Love&Toil]

Thanks Christina, I definitely have marked cycle-related mood issues (hence the Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder diagnosis). I am ovulating right now... that is usually where my intense agitation starts. I chart my cycle on my kitchen calendar. I also overslept on Saturday which makes my mood go wonky. Today I made myself get up at the usual daily time and get lots of things done for my family. Lots of cooking and cleaning today. Only a little bit of agitation, definitely much better than yesterday.

Thanks for listening gang!

[Creative1onder]

Hi. I've been feeling quite agitated, tense at home today. I've been fiddling with hair a lot and feeling restless, pacing.

[Notoriousglo]

Originally Posted by Love&Toil

Grrrrr. Feeling very critical of others AND myself right now. This is not fun. I have been literally growling today. Not fun. So pissed off right now. I know this will pass but I hate it. I think this is how some hypomania manifests for me--really agitated relentless energetic self-flaggelation and self-hate... along with irritability with others.

I am having trouble accepting this diagnosis today because I think I have a relatively mild version..... must remember everything is dampened down by meds and remember what life was like before meds. Definitely more intense up and down.

I feel angry with myself for a purchase I made when I was really involved in looking for a woman on the side (bisexual). I had made plans with someone that fell through. It was supposed to be for those plans. I wish I didn't buy it and it's just burning a hole in my purse. I feel so odd walking around with it and thinking how people have no idea I have it. But it was so right at the time.

The part I highlighted, that describes exactly how I feel right now, but docs haven't been able to figure out if I'm bipolar. When they say with bipolar people that mania can manifest as anxiety...is that it? I don't know anymore. I feel just like you right now. How do you get out of it?

[Mrs. Mania]

I am beyond agitation! I just want to scream and hit, kick, punch, stomp....DESTROY! My head is pounding, my blood is boiling, I can hardly keep my breath. Must not leave this room to ensure I don't hurt anyone. Want to check the mail, but if that stupid food stamp card isn't here........bad things are sure to happen!

[Love&Toil]

Originally Posted by euphy

The part I highlighted, that describes exactly how I feel right now, but docs haven't been able to figure out if I'm bipolar. When they say with bipolar people that mania can manifest as anxiety...is that it? I don't know anymore. I feel just like you right now. How do you get out of it?

I can only speak for myself when I say that what I experience seems to fit with my bipolar 2 diagnosis and was one of the reasons I got the diagnosis. I get other manifestations too, like feeling extremely negative, hyper-critical/negative against myself and others, but at the same time being hypersexual. It's a very odd combination and certainly not a way to get someone close to you (intimately) by being such a b***** but I can't control it when it happens like that.

Getting out of it? For me it usually passes in a couple of days. Taking good care of myself: proper eating, good sleep hygiene, communicating about my needs, putting myself somewhere on the priority list all go a long way in helping. Distraction such as watching comedy or reading a book (being alone) helps too. Mine will just pass by itself. Usually I tell my family to look out for me today, "it's not your fault, Mommy is just really grumpy today, I can still try to talk nice though" but I will growl for sure. LOL

Good luck figuring out your situation. Mine is a tentative diagnosis as well.

Originally Posted by Mrs. Mania

I am beyond agitation! I just want to scream and hit, kick, punch, stomp....DESTROY! My head is pounding, my blood is boiling, I can hardly keep my breath. Must not leave this room to ensure I don't hurt anyone. Want to check the mail, but if that stupid food stamp card isn't here........bad things are sure to happen!

You are wise to stay put in the room and leave others alone while you are feeling like this. Wisdom! I hope your food stamp card arrived... did it?

[Mrs. Mania]

Originally Posted by Love&Toil

I can only speak for myself when I say that what I experience seems to fit with my bipolar 2 diagnosis and was one of the reasons I got the diagnosis. I get other manifestations too, like feeling extremely negative, hyper-critical/negative against myself and others, but at the same time being hypersexual. It's a very odd combination and certainly not a way to get someone close to you (intimately) by being such a b***** but I can't control it when it happens like that.

Getting out of it? For me it usually passes in a couple of days. Taking good care of myself: proper eating, good sleep hygiene, communicating about my needs, putting myself somewhere on the priority list all go a long way in helping. Distraction such as watching comedy or reading a book (being alone) helps too. Mine will just pass by itself. Usually I tell my family to look out for me today, "it's not your fault, Mommy is just really grumpy today, I can still try to talk nice though" but I will growl for sure. LOL


Good luck figuring out your situation. Mine is a tentative diagnosis as well.


You are wise to stay put in the room and leave others alone while you are feeling like this. Wisdom! I hope your food stamp card arrived... did it?

No!

[Angry1541]

Originally Posted by Love&Toil

Grrrrr. Feeling very critical of others AND myself right now. This is not fun. I have been literally growling today. Not fun. So pissed off right now. I know this will pass but I hate it. I think this is how some hypomania manifests for me--really agitated relentless energetic self-flaggelation and self-hate... along with irritability with others.

I am having trouble accepting this diagnosis today because I think I have a relatively mild version..... must remember everything is dampened down by meds and remember what life was like before meds. Definitely more intense up and down.

I feel angry with myself for a purchase I made when I was really involved in looking for a woman on the side (bisexual). I had made plans with someone that fell through. It was supposed to be for those plans. I wish I didn't buy it and it's just burning a hole in my purse. I feel so odd walking around with it and thinking how people have no idea I have it. But it was so right at the time.

Hey -- I can completely relate (at least to first two paragraph...and partly the third).

My BP is mild -- but unchecked I do some really oddball stuff....if you add in any non-prescription chemicals (drugs/alcohol) and I really go off the deep end.

It's really odd...I take my meds and I don't feel anything overly crazy like I did without them...except for a light propensity to the hypo side.

Anyway -- hang in there.