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#1
Aug 18, 2014, 10:33 AM
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Hi! I'm new here. I'm a 38 yo happily married woman with two kids. History of depression and eating disorders. This year I was diagnosed bipolar 2 which explained a lot! I have been stable on meds for about 9 months. before this I never knew I had hypomania- just thought I had really wide mood swings. Anyway, since I have been "normal" for so long I knew something was up with me. A few weeks ago I started wanting to socialize more, drink more, ordered stuff to redo kitchen and knocked down a wall...oh, and started an affair with my manager (and all my family works there). This is not the first time I have had texting, flirting relationships- usually they have started when I am drunk.(does mania urge me to drink or does drinking urge me towards mania?) I rarely drink otherwise. This one I was just manic and couldn't quit contacting him. Then I calmed down and told him this was ending. Then today I started it back up- I have been up all day after a few days of being kind of out of it and drugged feeling. For the past 3 weeks I have felt different every day. I have seen my psych and see a new therapist this week.
WHY do I keep risking my happy life with these stupid guys??? Last week I even cut myself over the hate I had towards myself for doing this - I hadn't cut in 20 years! How do I stop? I just feel like I am on a roller coaster and then I wonder if all my reading of message boards is making me worse by having myself focusing on it. So, why do I keep risking my job, my family, my life, for this stupid impulsive stuff. I love my husband and my life- him and I still have fun together and my home life is very stable. 300mg wellbutrin 150mg lamictal .5 xanx 40mg prozac Last edited by shezbut; Aug 18, 2014 at 12:25 PM. Reason: Added a trigger icon |
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#2
Aug 18, 2014, 12:28 PM
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EDITED FOR TYPO CORRECTIONS: HA! I think maybe a med check is in order -- cuz apparently what you are taking isn't doing what you would like it to.
Last edited by Angry1541; Aug 18, 2014 at 01:34 PM. |
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#3
Aug 18, 2014, 01:18 PM
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IMO a med change is in order. Keep yourself well!
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Dx: Bipolar I, ADD, GAD. Rx: Fluoxetine, Buproprion, Olanzapine, Lamictal, and Strattera. |
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#4
Aug 18, 2014, 01:27 PM
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Yep, a quick med check.And if you can possibly do it, cut out the relationship. It just winds up in a disaster.
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Lamictal Rexulti Wellbutrin Xanax XR .5 Xanax .25 as needed |
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#5
Aug 18, 2014, 01:34 PM
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#6
Aug 18, 2014, 01:43 PM
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Quote:
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 InsideBlackBox
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#7
Aug 18, 2014, 01:55 PM
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I went to my pdoc as soon as I realized something was going on. She gave me 25mg of serequil at night to calm me down, but didn't think a med change was in order. I had been doing great on this cocktail for almost a year. My son is having his Bar Mitzvah in 2 weeks and she wonders if maybe the stress of that sent me off. I see a therapist Thursday (I don't see one bc I usually feel just fine)
I keep swearing to myself I will not engage in texting with this guy- it's like a drug though- gets me high and happy- and then very very very depressed and sad and I hate myself. |
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#8
Aug 18, 2014, 03:02 PM
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Ya try getting away from other men...it can really make things alot worse. Especially if you already have a happy marriage. You may want to try a ap and dump the wellbutrin.
I'm bp2, bpd, anxiety disorder and ptsd Lamictal 300 2x day Geodon 80mg 2x day Buspar 10mg Lexapro 30 Neurontin for pain 600 3x day Xanex 1mg one A day |
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#9
Aug 18, 2014, 03:34 PM
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Oh, and by the way...I am going to venture to guess you are NOT a horrible person!
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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