[Velouria]

Sometimes I feel like I'm one giant nerve and every little thing affects me. Other times I feel like I'm impervious to all things. I much prefer the latter.

But just now I stepped onto the train and went looking for a seat, and passed by this little boy talking to his father, and the tone of the kid's voice sounded so sad, there was such a weight to it. They were only talking about where they were going to go after they got off the train, but just the tone of the kid's voice made me want to cry. And then I started thinking about the kid's future and of course my mind went to dark places... And then they started talking about battlestars, thank god, it snapped me out of it and made me smile. But I put music on.

Does anyone get like this sometimes, just raw?

[notALICE]

One giant nerve is a good description. I seem to think too much, feel too much, worry too much. Part of general anxiety/BP? Idk. The mood stabilizer slows it down sometimes but I also don't want to be too numb. The balance hasn't been quite right yet. I try to distract it by doing things. Engaging my mind in a book, tv, a menial task. Music can often heighten my feelings, so that doesn't work as well for me. Exercise would be very healthy but I don't do enough of it.

Best,

[blueheelerlove]

My T once told me that both a blessing and a curse of being bipolar is that we feel things on a deeper level and are more empathetic than people who are non BP.

My point being, yes I feel similar to you and I tend to be overly emotional about something that might make other people only feel sad for a fleeting moment.

[Parks]

Originally Posted by Velouria

Sometimes I feel like I'm one giant nerve and every little thing affects me. Other times I feel like I'm impervious to all things. I much prefer the latter.

But just now I stepped onto the train and went looking for a seat, and passed by this little boy talking to his father, and the tone of the kid's voice sounded so sad, there was such a weight to it. They were only talking about where they were going to go after they got off the train, but just the tone of the kid's voice made me want to cry. And then I started thinking about the kid's future and of course my mind went to dark places... And then they started talking about battlestars, thank god, it snapped me out of it and made me smile. But I put music on.

Does anyone get like this sometimes, just raw?

I get raw too, like you mention. Where I think if someone says the wrong thing to me I'll break out crying or something.

Oh yes. And like you say, it can swap around with quite an opposite, though I'd more describe mine as obliviousness, lol. Tuning into people, often strangers. Noticing unguarded moments. Recently had an experience with someone who is really feisty and fearless (especially considering her being very old). Something happened, and I saw fear in her eyes. It was positively visceral. I didn't think I knew. I knew I knew. (Mind you, I can't stand when people think they "know" more than they do to make as if they know you so well. And it's simply straight up delusion. Yeah, like my mother. Ugh.)

Anyhow! Back to the question. So much of it (maybe even all?) tends to be regarding the "less pleasant" states. Sadness, depression, loneliness, etc.. It's probably because they're so familiar, that all it takes is the subtlest of indications. (Yes, even when they think they are hiding it very well.) The challenges and exhaustion of "putting on the good face". Others are too busy in what is obvious to notice. Do you think there is something to that? The familiarity thing?