[Brokenman78]

Greetings...

I was just diagnosed with Bipolar for the second time. My first time I didn't believe it and followed zero instructions, I thought hey I'm just a messed up 20 year old, that's all.
Let me share what has brought me here and why the second diagnosis was given.

I will make things as short as possible.

Earlier this year my wife and I purchased our first home together. It was a glorious time for us both, we were ecstatic and bursting a part at the seems. Our dream finally came true.

It was short lived for me...

Very first week we moved in, our drain pipes began to backup into the shower and the toilet, stressful to say the least and costly. Then a few days later our hot water heater decided to die.
More stress... I became very agitated, my sleep habits became sporadic, and I began drinking increasingly heavier and heavier. We started arguing a lot, I mean a lot. I felt out of control, like my skeleton was going to erupt from my
flesh and go running around the room cackling like a wild man(which is how I felt).
This is where things take a turn for the worse.

My wife's sister was hanging out on a daily basis, she would listen to her sister bicker about things and would listen to me. Instead of being a neutral party she "took" my side. She would persistently tell me how my wife secretly hated me, she was with me out of necessity, how she wanted to do me harm. The state of mind I was in was extreme, which I now know was mania. I believed what her sister said, every damn word. It became so fierce and real to me that I walked out on my wife of ten years.
I had to get away or so I thought, I was so out of control. Excessive spending, excessive drinking, memory loss.
I won't divulge any more then that, but I was on a reckless downward spiral for close to two months before I "crashed".

I crashed when I realized completely what I had done. I cheated on my wife, with her with her sister.
Your reading this thinking what a POS, and I agree.
I DO NOT condone my actions, I still to this moment really don't know how it happened or why it did, as I have never been remotely attracted to her. In fact I've always found her quite homely. In fact I hardly recall the incident.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar to this? How did you get through it? How did you reconcile with your spouse?

Thank you for reading.

[Brokenman78]

Greetings...

Try this again, first post botched somehow.

I was just diagnosed with Bipolar 1. I have finally sought medical help after a 2 month period of madness as I thought it was(mania as I'm told).
I felt out of control and insane. I felt like everything my wife said or did was a strike against me, outside influence from her sister made things 100x worse. Finally I snapped and left, I was on a roller coaster of huge rises, little falls and back to huge rises. Add alcohol to this equation and my senses were null.

I felt like I would burst apart at any moment, my skeleton tearing itself from the flesh running around cackling maniacally.
There are huge amounts of time that I am missing, and I did things I shouldn't have. I'm not using this illness as an excuse but has anyone else had a one night stand while insanely manic?
If so, what did you do to win your spouses heart and trust back?

So frustrated and alone in this. Could use all the help I can get.

Thanks

[Crazy Hitch]

Welcome. Yeah I'm BP1 too and let's just say I've done things while manic that I'm not proud of (those that I remember). Totally out of character for me. You'll certainly find that you are not alone and others will be able to relate to your experience too.

[Victoria'smom]

1. Take your meds every day and go to therapy as often as possible. By doing this you're saying that that you love her so you are never want this to happen again.

2. Intense couple's therapy like 2-3x a week.

52 weeks rof romance cards. Only do for her and save them to repeat the cards. However I have no idea if i would be able to get to get over that level of betrayal.

[ozzy1313]

No words of wisdom- I just wanted to tell you that you are not a POS. And that you are not alone in doing very stupid, impulsive things- and yes, alcohol makes the impulsive actions even more stupid (talking from experience- it's been a bad month for me!)

[Brokenman78]

Thanks, nice to know I'm not the only one who has done stupid things during a bout of mania.
I honestly don't know much about the condition other then what's been told to me during my initial treatment and whatnot. I have done a lot of research online though and I am soaking it all in.

It's so brutal because of what I've done, I truly felt out of control and out of body, if that makes any sense.
Wish I would have treated this sooner.

[~Christina]

Most everyone with Bipolar has done some terrible crazy life altering things ..its part of the beast ..
Right now you need to get into treatment and follow through no matter how many times your brain wants you to quit it all. Will probably be Medications and Therapy long term.

Is your wife willing to go into couples counseling ? If so put every ounce of yourself into regaining her trust.

In time you will indeed learn ways to deal with your particular brand of bipolar as everyones in unique and you can have a wonderful life despite the ups and downs with Bipolar.

Welcome to PC I hope you find the support and load of information here that can be of help to you