[Blitter2014]

Got a new job starting Friday, nerves have kicked in but I'm going to give it a shot and see how I go. Been told I've got to stop hiding from life....

[Wander]

My Fibromyalgia has flared up and I am in terrible pain all over my body. Along with this my insomnia has turned into hypersomnia so I need to sleep a lot. This could just be a simple fibro flare up but I am worried that I am heading below baseline into depression after two months of hypomania. My mood is ok but not at all as joyful as it has been and I am beginning to have a lot of negative thoughts. I just hope this passes soon.

[Love&Toil]

Home today with a sick kiddo and it seems I've caught it myself. Feh. Hate being sick. It will pass.

[Polibeth]

Saw pdoc today - great appointment, other than the fact he told me that my cats are the most stable individuals in the household - LOL.

Today is a good day. A very hopeful day. I found out that my flu symptoms were actually very low blood pressure from one of my medications. Hmmmm. I feel so much better now that it has been decreased. Life is looking up.

[Hopeful Camel]

Had a better day yesterday. Didn't get to see my doc, about my meds, due to a snowstorm. But I had a good day at work, walked the dog, and nurtured myself.

Sometimes just putting one foot in front of the other brings amazing results.

[Standup2me]

Today is a good day.
It is very sunny out and that always has an impact on me

[Love&Toil]

Not a great day today. I felt really crappy but went into work anyway. Lasted until lunchtime then went home. Felt so guilty but heck, I am sick with the flu!!! I missed yesterday too because of it.

I am really stressed out about our new computer system at work that is in the news because it screws up so badly. You never know what it's going to do. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't work.

[Roblovescats]

I feel like I make friends and then they get to know me and they disappear. I must be a jerk. I don't think I have ever had someone try to be my friend. It seems like I'm the one always having to make the effort. I feel like maybe I'm sending off some sign that says I'm not a good friend. I really probably am just a jerk. I tend to be a bit of a loner. I think if I could I would just curl up in bed all the time with the lights off. Weird I guess that I strive to be alone in the dark sleeping. ... avoiding being alive I guess? Maybe I'm just tired.

FOOD ALERGY WARNING: contents may have been in contact with nuts

[Takeshi]

I don't wanna be angry like yesterday. I kicked too many things and was probably rude to some ppl. I still feel the residual anger in my head and I really don't want it to affect me. The noise of ppl chattering or someone just approaching me could set me off.

Deep breath. Time off from IDIOTS at work (including myself). um..whatelse? I'm gonna have to wing it, I guess.

Pretty good. I guess. Living the Law of Jinx. No wonder I can never really relax. If I even so much as think something is going well… cue the other shoe. Sigh.

So... using distraction to try to keep from ruminating the hell out of it.

[Blitter2014]

I went to work and survived, and it felt good. I have been dreading it and it wasn't as bad as I thought. Hopefully I will finally get some sleep tonight and stop dreaming anxiety related dreams.

[Hopeful Camel]

Slept more soundly than I have in awhile. Trying to appreciate the small stuff. I will be alone on Christmas this year, and I'm trying to make a plan for the day, to make it nice, so I don't get too depressed. I want to be positive.

Amazed at how long this bipolar depressive episode is lasting. It probably doesn't help that I'm not working. Have had some interviews but no offers. Decided to volunteer until a job comes through. Have volunteer possibilities at the Humane Society and a museum but neither of those start until after the holidays.

Just went jog/walking with one of our dogs. I always feel better after I do that. Will do my best to keep busy today. Have a good day everyone.

[wing]

Emotions all over the place. I guess the stressors of the last 6 months are finally catching up with me. Had a total meltdown, flushed all the pills I was hoarding, gave my car keys to my husband and, and had him hide the guns. I survived it, seems it was just a brief episode, but scary after looking back. I was ready to go inpatient, but we had no insurance. Thank God it's over. I think I can make it thru Xmas. I never do much decorating, we go to my brother's house for two days. I'm cutting the visit short.

Had lab work done this morning. Got there a whole hour before it opened. Got the time wrong. Every time one of us kids got out of bed way too early my Mom would ask if we peed the bed. So, I sat at the lab for an hour with my Mom's question in my head. lol.

[onionknight]

Ah, starting with a new therapist this afternoon, so of course, I'm anxious about that...

[prepsychmel]

I'm doing well. Had a phone interview this morning that's leading to a face to face one on the 26th. I''m optimistic

[Stone Serenity]

I'm bogged down and weirded out. My docs recommended I apply for SSDI since my head is so jacked up right now, mixed episodes, hysterical sobbing, zoning out, etc. I had an short interview with SS to verify some info and they asked the question "have I gone by previous names"?

I said no, but they brought up an alias I had when I thought I was going to be a writer. I had forgotten about it, and it was 30 years ago, but swearing that I didn't have another name was bad enough. Then I got the paperwork back and I realize they had also pulled one of my step-father childhood names that I went by up. Now that's two names that I forgot about. When I got the summary docs, I realized there was also a third step-father name that I went by but SS still doesn't have. I am freaked out that I forgot about 3 names I had growing up other than my birth name. I had a rough childhood, lots of neglect, maybe I just blocked my childhood out or made it "not me"? Has anyone else forgotten such crucial info about themselves?

[Pikku Myy]

Confused about this person I am dating. Overwhelmed about the holidays. Sad to learn a good friend passed away couple of days ago.

[Love&Toil]

I spent many years in therapy discussing my childhood and eventually made a conscious decision to put it behind me. So yeah, there are some things I forget about until someone brings them up. I think it is a survival mechanism.

[Love&Toil]

Nice day today as it is relaxing sort of. Going to see my pdoc to discuss Latuda. I want to keep the Prozac too for anxiety control. I am under tremendous responsibility and stress at work and don't need a med change right now. Otoh when is really a good time?

[Standup2me]

Angry
Very angry
And worried about money
Very worried

[Hopeful Camel]

Woke up at 3am, mind racing 1000 miles an hour. Can't stop it. Insane amounts of information flooding my brain. What is going on?

i'm fed up of all christmas stuff.

everyone going around being jolly and excited about the holidays, and they forget that their's people like me with no one to spend it with- and i'm thinking give it a break all ready.

i can't wait for the holidays to be over if i'm honest.

apart from that things are okay.

my friend went in to hospital last year for a cornia transplant but it got rejected, but he emailed me yesterday saying that he's okay about it and hopes to do something to distract him from the depression

usual 0 hours of sleep, but does not bother me anymore.