[Zebra821]

Hi, I'm a 22 year old female college student currently suffering from Bipolar Disorder.

I have been in more relationships than I should have experienced by the time I went into my twenties. I have felt so passionately about others before that when I get into a relationship I am certain we'll get married. But then, I come down, I get bored, my mind wanders as do my eyes. I can't hold down a relationship for the life of me. At first I thought it was just because I'm 22 and young and fickle, but the more I look at my past relationships, the more dysfunctional they seem. I put everything into one person, I work so hard to be perfect to them. Then I get tired of it. Move on quickly.

I hate myself for it. Is this a symptom of bipolar? I go from being convinced we'll be married to being so unimpressed by them. Does anyone else have trouble in relationships because of their bipolar?

[r010159]

Yes, but it relates to my bipolar mood swings.

[Skitz13]

I'm quite a bit older than you and have experienced many relationships. My illness always seems to get in the way. At the time I didn't have the awareness or interest in my symptoms.

Today, I've begun a relationship. I haven't dated in well longer than you've been born. I'm more educated and aware of my bipolar symptoms. I have found that I have to fight with my mind on a constant basis. If my mind could take over, I would sabotage something that potentially is going to be the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

Just remember...your mind is not your friend. Always listen to your gut and try and keep the brain out of it as much as possible. With all of my experience, I've learned that my mind will try and trip me up anyway it can.

It really is a BP thing.

Hope that was helpful

[Feelinwobbly]

I have had the same experience. Passionate relationships turned to s##t because I cant seem to get over my need for new and exciting. It seems to be going away as time passes. I have been faced with losing my wife because of my choices. We have been apart. That is boring. Sustainable relationship is my new exciting. I am trying to change my perception of others and their value.

[Angry1541]

Ya know, I never thought of my past relationships and how my BP impacted them or influenced me and my behavior in that regard.

I know that in the past (prior to my current wife)...a relationship was what you hear in all the songs and stuff...to the point of obsession. I would do things WAY out character to be with the person I was dating....Skip work, whatever. When at work, I would spend a lot of the time emailing or texting them. It was my entire reason for being and I was floating on cloud nine or in the deepest pit of despair if things weren't right.

Also, looking back I never really dated anyone that was truly a good 'match' for me. I was whoever I got fixated on or would date me....seriously. Except for my first wife, we were pretty well matched in all but education -- which wasn't a good thing.

But yeah...the intensity of the relationship, at least from my point of view and probably from her point of view as I am sure my intensity rubbed off, was crazy!!! Super crazy....

My second wife, I persued like mad....and I am not sure why...and my moods during pursuing her were insanely all over the place....and needless to say...once we were married, it was over....I mean it took 5 years, but most of those years we were doing things by ourselves....not really connected. Even sex was seemed like a chore.

But something happened with my current wife...she is the type I wouldn't normally go for, but I think that's because I was going for something that wasn't really what I needed in a mate.

With my current wife, who is intellectually my equal (maybe even my better), there was none of the crazy obsession thing -- we kinda of fell in together and it just worked with us....we are two people that somehow work really well together and that's all there is to it....nothing 'magical', a lot of love, but a real love....a love that's giving and thoughtful, but not 'ga-ga'....if that makes sense. With my current wife, I couldn't imagine being off doing my own thing (not that I can't) but I don't have a drive to be elsewhere....I am happy to hang out with her whenever...it just works with us....we idk how to explain it.

I guess our relationship is not the traditional husband/wife relationship -- we are equals in every way...IDK -- it's just different....not sure how to explain it.

So yeah...relationships and issues with them are

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by Zebra821

Is this a symptom of bipolar?

Simply put? No.

However, if you're routinely "falling inlove" while manic and breaking up when the ride is over?

Well then yes, it would be a type of indirect sub-symptom.

BP is diagnosed by problems that arise in a cyclical manner, within an episode. Anything outside of these periods are not recognized as symptoms, but that being said, yes I agree this beast can and does affect our relationships.

Also I would just like to mention;
A history of unstable relationships is however a key trait of having Borderline Personality Disorder.

I'm no Doc, I'm not even pretending to diagnose you, but since I suffer from it myself I thought I would mention it incase looking it up may be of some help to you and shed some light on why, when and more importantly, how not to....

Ps. If it does ring any type of true, please don't be alarmed, as having traits of BPD isn't the same as having a fullblown disorder.

We all have traits of something or other...

[Zebra821]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Simply put? No.

However, if you're routinely "falling inlove" while manic and breaking up when the ride is over?

Well then yes, it would be a type of indirect sub-symptom.

BP is diagnosed by problems that arise in a cyclical manner, within an episode. Anything outside of these periods are not recognized as symptoms, but that being said, yes I agree this beast can and does affect our relationships.

Also I would just like to mention;
A history of unstable relationships is however a key trait of having Borderline Personality Disorder.

I'm no Doc, I'm not even pretending to diagnose you, but since I suffer from it myself I thought I would mention it incase looking it up may be of some help to you and shed some light on why, when and more importantly, how not to....

Ps. If it does ring any type of true, please don't be alarmed, as having traits of BPD isn't the same as having a fullblown disorder.

We all have traits of something or other...

Thank you! I took the BPD test, it said that I have symptoms strongly consistent with it. Maybe I should talk to my doc and see what he thinks. That is very helpful.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by Zebra821

Thank you! I took the BPD test, it said that I have symptoms strongly consistent with it. Maybe I should talk to my doc and see what he thinks. That is very helpful.

You're most welcome, I'm happy to help!

[turtleman59]

My illness has prevented me from having any meaningful relationships. I haven't been on a date in years

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[Brokenman78]

I can say from firsthand experience that it effects relationships. I just lost the love of my life because of stupid things I did while extremely manic.

If I would have just gone to the doctor sooner.

[turtleman59]

Going to pdocs and tdocs has not been enough for me. I had hoped to remarry several years ago. I have two college degrees and live off the government. It's hard to sell yourself when you are in a sad state.

[lacerta]

Several of my past relationships have ended because of me being aggressive in the mixed states. Now I'm more or less happily married, my husband is very supportive we have gone through all kinds of *** times. For that I have to tolerate his depressive periods.
Though I do have difficulties keeping friendships. I've broken the relationships from my school friends, high school friends, university friends. Hard to keep friends I have acquired recently, I cannot dare to say them I'm bipolar. I cannot invite them to my home when I'm too tired to clean up... for long periods of times.

Originally Posted by turtleman59

Going to pdocs and tdocs has not been enough for me. I had hoped to remarry several years ago. I have two college degrees and live off the government. It's hard to sell yourself when you are in a sad state.

Me too, two college degrees and elementary teaching certification, and living off the government. See my new thread on self-employment vs. being an employee.

[cashart10]

Bipolar made me hypersexual and careless of the consequences. I ruined every relationship I was in before I was married because I cheated. Thankfully, in the 9 years we have been married, I have never cheated on my husband. I pray this never happens (and I do doubt it will) but I still get hypersexual.

I was hypersexual, too. I was married 11 years to a man who was unipolar hypomanic. We had great sex, wow! Now I'm older and my meds have taken away my sex drive, and I'm glad. I honestly think it's the meds, not my age, that have depleted it. In fact, after both my second and third divorces, I asked my doctor to spay me like a cat. Both doctors said "People can't be spayed." What they didn't tell me was, that if I took certain antidepressants, I'd lose my sex drive. I would have loved to do that many years before I knew about that. Cashart, in my case it wasn't that I was unfaithful to my partner -- I was unfair to myself, by hooking up with men who were very bad for me, were emotionally and/or financially abusive.

[Tucson]

I have a BS in Mathematics with a Electrical Engineering minor. I could handle any crisis on the mainframe. And so forth. I am now living off the government.

I helped ruin my marriage. It was destined to fail. I was out of control at times including angry outbursts that hurt my spouse. But I never cheated on my former wife.