HELP

Hello my fellow mood afflicted ones...

I have been stable for a while now. Controlling bi polar 2 or Cyclothymia, not sure which yet, with diet, sleep, exercise, meditation, and other life style approaches. I am not medicated. Was prescribed Lithium but wanted to explore other methods first as I do not suffer from bipolar I, so though things can become quite painful for me and the people around me, maybe it is manageable without meds.

Anyhow, I've been doing pretty good, but my wife and daughter left town for two weeks, thus eliminating my entire structure, and I am loosing it. I am in the arts and entertainment, I am a performer and curator etc... I work at night. I booked myself solid while they were gone, partially to keep busy and make money, and partially because I think that is something I enjoy until I am doing it and start feeling crazy. Additionally I have started drinking alcohol again, smoking, weed, no hard drugs - don't have a problem with those - But the drinking and smoking alone, combined with sleep deprivation and no structure, always out with tons of people, always entertaining, I can feel that I am lifting off. I can't get my mind in order, pace around my house endlessly just trying to do something simple like get dressed and remember to brush my teeth and grab my wallet and keys, I feel increasingly agitated, anxious, and am starting to have bad judgement about boundaries and money. Nothing catastrophic has happened yet, but I feel myself slipping away.

I am afraid of this hypomanic streak I am on, I am afraid of the anxiety, I am afraid of the depression that will surely come after.

Today is the first time I have had a respite since my wife and daughter left early in the morning on Tuesday, my house is a wreck because I had a giant industry party sort of thing over here and haven't been able to get to cleaning it yet. So I'm going to put on the news just to hear someone talk to me which makes me feel sane, and clean and clean and clean to try and come back down to earth.

I am not looking for answers and solutions, I'm not sure any will ever come. I really just want to hear that there are other people out there who understand what I am going through.

Thanks in advance to anyone who responds. I haven't been on in a while, but I was on a lot the last time I was really falling apart, and just really know that you guys are out there helped me so much.

OK, I'm here, and how are you guys doing?
MT

I can totally relate.

My wife and kids left to europe for 4 weeks to visit my wife's family. I am the only income on the house, and of course had to stay behind and work.

I also coped by working a ton of hours. I also went totally hypomanic. I slept an average of 4 hours/night, I averaged 60 hours/week while they were gone. One week I worked 80 hours, sliced my leg open, got 6 stitches and went to work the next day!
One night a raccoon was pestering my house and my cat, so I waited for him and jumped out the front door and stabbed him with a spear!
I also called an escort to my house. After 3 weeks of loneliness and mania, I also cheated with another woman...
Oh well, I knew my wife leaving would trigger a huge episode, I am just glad it was mania and not depression. I stayed medicated the whole time, which really helped me from being miserable and psychotic at least. But yeah, definitely had a REALLY FUN HYPOMANIA EPISODE!

My advice: see a psych doctor, get medicated. Also, keep a mood journal (I did the whole time I was hypo, but at least I didn't totally crazy manic since I am type1), exercise regularly, get up the same time every day, and try to go to bed the same time. (I know, basically impossible in an episode) Avoid drugs and alcohol, risky situations, etc. Watch your money, cut up your credit cards, etc.

Good luck.

Mania ruins more lives than imaginable. My advice is to see a pdoc and get on some meds. The fun of hypo is not worth your family.

Just because you need meds right now to get stable doesnt mean you will always need them..

Based on what you have told us .. You really need help and help now. Drinking and smoking are not your friends right now.. Just stop that it will only lead to more troubles.

Start using every coping skill you have and dont stop until something sticks..

Be safe .. If needed hand over extra cash and credit cards to a trusted friend.

Well I can certainly relate. When I was younger and my mom would take my son on the weekends I would be up most of the time. No drugs just booze. I would do a lot of risky behavior. I have bp 1 and PTSD. I was unmedicated until 4 yrs ago when I went into a psychosis. Don't worry, lol. I don't think you'll go into a psychosis.

I would just do my best to get back on track. Do some of you're self care techniques. Just focus on getting back on schedule.

Good luck.

Thanks to everyone who replied.

I spent the day taking it easy and trying to clean my house after this insane party I had. It was grounding. I am not all the way back (I mean, back where? but you know...), I still feel shaky and out of sorts, depersonalized, mixed moods, etc... But it is lower grade. It was really nice to hear from everyone who responded, and the story about killing a raccoon with a spear is hilarious, the I feel for the raccoon...

Thanks! Will try many of the things suggested.

You guys are the best!
MT