[FitPrk3]

Just like the title says, been given an altimatum, get help or she (my fiancée) is leaving me. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse. Oh yea, and I have a week to do it...any one else see a problem with my situation??

[wildflowerchild25]

What's stopping you from trying to get help? I mean you can't get better in a week but you can make moves to get some help, like try to locate a therapist or a pdoc...that's what I did when my husband basically demanded the same thing. We are still together. He never had any intention of leaving, he was just scared for me and wanted me to get the help I needed.

[~Christina]

Wildchild . I agree !

[marmaduke]

It might be helpful to listen to your fiancee, otherwise you are going to lose her.
Get help.

[loophole]

I'd get the help.. while I haven't gotten the exact comment from my wife, I've gotten something very very close to it.. seek help. .. it sounds stupid but by saying that to you she is in fact helping you to (hopefully) get help....

P.s. we all need help at times in our life.. it's not a weakness or makes you less of a man..

[FitPrk3]

Well here's the thing, I was receiving help and meds from the state. Wasn't working at the time so I qualified to get all my meds for free. Well I felt "normal" enough on the meds to work. Well, once I accepted a job my benefits from the state were cancelled bc I "make too much" and personally I couldn't afford the meds on my own, so I had I'm at a point where I can't get any assistance anymore bc I don't have insurance or enough to pay out of pocket. So I'm kinda screwed. She doesn't really understand that I've exhausted every viable option for treatment. I'm so lost and confused I don't know what to do. I don't wanna loose her. I don't at all but my hands are tied :/

[loophole]

Hey. .. I know it stinks... but when there is a will.. there's a way... always.. it may take some sacrifice and some hardships in other areas of your life... always gonna be something but would you sacrifice a hardship in another area to help your hardship dissappear in your marriage (no marriage is perfect but a marriage that doesn't exist has no chance) nobody wants to hear this stuff and I'm sure you probably don't either. . I'm just trying to help.. I think you want to save your marriage or you wouldn't be here right now... just a tough post so sorry. . I'm sincerely trying to help not trying to be a a jerk... gl

[wildflowerchild25]

Around me there are clinics that treat you based on ability to pay. So they might charge ten bucks for a pdoc appt if that's all you can afford. They take awhile to get into but it's something. You can see if there's something like that around you.

[C0Nspiritus]

I think you can be on disability and work as well. Most important thing to do is address your issues first. Do the footwork online for discount drugs. Call the mfg of the big pharmaceuticals. There has got to be some programs out there that can help you.

I wish you the best of luck and fortitude.

[~Christina]

Go to your local mental health provider they have a sliding scale cost. There are also some psych meds that are very cheap.

[Victoria'smom]

My husband forced me and it backfired. hard. Causing complete fear for me.

Originally Posted by FitPrk3

Just like the title says, been given an altimatum, get help or she (my fiancée) is leaving me. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse. Oh yea, and I have a week to do it...any one else see a problem with my situation??

You may not like what I have to say, but colds are treatable in a week. Severe asthma is treatable in a week. Bipolar disorder, on the other hand, .... um no.

Someone who says that you have "one week to get better, or else ..." does not seem to understand the magnitude of your troubles. Or, were you exaggerating ? Did she say you have to start treatment within a week ?

Also, since I don't know your story, if I may ask (you don't have to answer) ... why did she wait till this point (your engagement) to give you this ultimatum ? Is this not something you guys discussed along the way ?

Sorry if I've come across as rude or insensitive here. I'm playing the neutral objective observer, and I would like to know more, so I can offer you advice, instead of making assumptions and BSing you.

[Love&Toil]

I sincerely hope you keep trying to find a solution to your problem of subsidizing your meds. Is there an emergency assistance program to get you through one month of meds while you are working to put other things in place like discount meds?

[Tucson]

Does you employer provide you access to insurance at a price? If you remain with your hands tied, you definitely know what is going to happen next.

[Victoria'smom]

Is the condition severe enough to voluntarily go into an acute care, crisis center, or psychiatric hospital?

[Disorder7]

According to statistics, 90% of marriages which involve a bipolar spouse end in divorce. I think the statistics are much better if the bipolar spouse is actively receiving treatment. It's not perfect, but it shows that we're trying.

My husband gave me the same ultimatum about 8 months ago.

When we're untreated and not receiving any form of therapy, we're exhausting to people. We drain spouses, family, friends, anyone who dares to get near us. Sometimes they leave, or sometimes they just take a mental break from us and we feel the distance.

[LacunaCoiler]

My girlfriend did the exact same thing to me. She told me I needed to see someone/get help or she was walking away. I really had to weight my options and for the longest time afterwards I was resentful and even hated her for forcing me into doing something I didn't want to do. Now that I'm more stable and living a more productive life I see she did what she did because she loves me and wanted me to be healthy. I no longer resent/hate her.

It was a hard situation to be in and in the end I had to decide what was more important, the fun highs or my relationship.

[Disorder7]

Originally Posted by Are you suffering?

My girlfriend did the exact same thing to me. She told me I needed to see someone/get help or she was walking away. I really had to weight my options and for the longest time afterwards I was resentful and even hated her for forcing me into doing something I didn't want to do. Now that I'm more stable and living a more productive life I see she did what she did because she loves me and wanted me to be healthy. I no longer resent/hate her.

It was a hard situation to be in and in the end I had to decide what was more important, the fun highs or my relationship.

Good point. I think sometimes they love us and are unwilling to wait and see if we're going to put a belt around our neck or a gun to our head.

Although, at the time, the tough love thing really pisses us off!

In this case, if his fiancé has done any research at all, she knows the suicide rate for bipolar ll.

[pawn78]

forget it, just let this person go. I got help from a top-notch pdoc and therapist, and my wife still left me... move on.

[Nightside of Eden]

When others say you need help, you probably do... consider low-cost clinics and older cheap medications... my Stelazine is only $25 without insurance or coupons and excellent for stopping mixed states and mania. Also newer drugs may have huge discounts on goodrx.com.

You're in Ohio... if psych meds can't be prescribed by family doctors in your state, consider driving across the state line and getting them from a family doctor in PA. We allow that here.