[ozzy1313]

Lately at work I keep having the feeling that people hate me and don't care if I am there etc. Logically I know this is not true. Last night at work some of them were talking about how they went out the night before and I just felt so excluded which immediately went to thoughts of I am not liked, I worthless, etc.

This is a feeling I haven't had in so long. Even with my close friends I sometimes think it bc I am lousy at keeping up communications. I really enjoy encounters talking with strangers or acquaitances bc there is no emotional aspect. I want close relationships bc I feel so lonely sometimes, yet it seem like it will never happen.

I just started therapy and I told her this is one of my goals. I have been married for 17 years and on the outside it wouldn't look like I have these issues, but I just feel like I am incapable of having close friends. Is this where the borderline comes in?

[kaliope]

I imagine that it is the borderline because they feel empty inside as one of the criteria for borderline. but you don't have to blame it on the borderline. there are reasons you are borderline. it may be that you have attachment issues and you actually aren't able to form close relationships. so this is something for you and your t to discover together. take care.

[ozzy1313]

Empty inside is a perfect description. Dealing with this is my top goal in therapy. I actually think if I could improve on this it would make my bp and everything else better.

[buzz bee]

I had that feeling in my job I just quit, I found out I was right. Its painful to feel alienated.

[loophole]

I feel like this to the extreme at work as well.. also public places like restaurants or stores if anyone makes eye contact with me at all..

I have found that it is most important to be a loving friend to myself.
I realize that I have the power to love myself and others, but I do not have the power to make others love me.
We must be comfortable in our own skin and respect ourselves. If we do not respect ourselves, others will not respect us.
Friends are a gift, and healthy friendships are comprised of healthy people.
If I focus on being healthy and take an interest in others, I will attract people who are of a like mind and spirit.
In healthy relationships of all kinds there must be mutual respect and equal give and take

[vjdragonfly]

Therapy is the best thing you can do for this. I alienate myself from ppl so I don't have to care what they think of me. The bad thing is this includes my family as well. And honestly, deep down, I think it is because I don't feel accepted as I am. I stand out physically and emotionally and I love not being "part of the crowd". Although at times it does make it harder and lonelier for me. I just want ppl in my life that accept me as I am and well I don't conform soooo . . .

[Mrs. Mania]

I just started a new job and I can totally relate! Instead of sitting in the hall alone last night, I went to the nurses station to join the conversation. At first everyone was friendly enough, then they went out to smoke(which I don't). I got paranoid that they went out to talk about/get away from me. Just when I convinced myself that I was wrong, they came in and gathered at the end of the hall. Worst thing is, that's the nice hall- in 5 hours I have to go back and work on the unfriendly hall!

[flyawayhome]

I understand completely......I've noticed that I feel like everyone in my life hates me when I'm in a depressed state. I'm aware that it's irrational, it sounds like you are too. That awareness seems to only help on a minute level though the best I've been able to do is to continue to have positive interactions with people. I have to fight the urge to avoid people, because I've found that avoidance feeds my paranoia.

Much love to you!

I read somewhere that people are more likely to quit because of ostracism than harassment. Wow, it is better to be harassed than ignored! I guess being ignored is a very primitive experience.

I used to go to this diner all the time -- like for ten years. I thought the waitress hated me because i was always bugging her for a refill on my Diet Coke. When it closed she said it had been a pleasure serving me! I was astonished! And pleased. Wow, all that worry for nothing!