Angry over simple tasks

Last night I didn't go to bed till 4-4:30 am this morning. I was awoken at an unknown time twice before finally waking up a final time around 1:00 pm.

After I got up, my mood was slightly uplifting since no one was home.

Throughout the day I stayed in the basement and in the dark, pacing, listening to music as usual. The whole day I didn't feel out of sorts or anything that would make me feel different than my usual mood.

Later towards the night my family came back and that's when I instantly became irritated. I was trying to keep away from them, until I had to come upstairs to get something and they stopped me to do something. My irritation started to elevate and soon I was getting really mad. Finally they started instructing me that I had to do something and I was expected to take care of something at a great length. That's when I became extremely angered and tried to leave the room. I eventually did and so I took my anger out on myself, by mentally screaming it out.I started cursing at myself and saying I wished everyone would die and I start pacing again, trying to take care of the matter without them getting involved because I know they'll just argue with me about none-important things and bring me down more with their criticism until I've become depressed.

So you're really agitated today when around people. Is this sleep cycle normal for you? How many days has this been going on?

I only get really agitated when I'm around people I don't like, like my family. Yes the sleep cycle is normal, I don't feel tired til 4-5 am. It's been going on for 3 days now.

Are you on any Medications? Do you have a Therapist? What about structure during the day? are you in school or have a job ? Have you tried any coping skills to help manage being around people that trigger you ? meditation? mindfulness? breathing exercises etc?

Welcome to PC I hope your able to feel better soon

I agree with Christina, what is your treatment plan? Your doctors should be able to work with both you and your family to iron things out. If you are not seeking treatment, learning coping skills, or otherwise getting support, this will all continue.

I can't afford medications, so I don't take anything to help. I can't go to the doctor since I'm not insured and I can't afford going to one in the first place.

I don't have a job, finding one is difficult because I don't live in a big city and the other closest city's I'm located by are either more in the industrial business or are to far.

I used to go to therapy, but my family forced me not to go because they thought I was 'cured' just because I got my way when I asked desperately to talk to someone with my problem.

I have no supporters like family and friends because they don't like the fact I'm 'different' in that way. I can hardly talk to them without them criticizing me or bullying me about how I can't be normal like them.

I usually cope with things by either talking to my imaginary friend or fantasizing of being other places.

Since your not working you would qualify for free or very low cost mental health services through your county and they often can get free medications for you.. There is help if you want to improve your living situation and life.

Coping skills are free to learn . They can learned here or a simple goggle search will give you loads of them also Youtube has some great videos that could benefit you.

Having family that supported you would be wonderful but its not necessary. You can take control of your life.

Take care~

How would I be able to do that?

Call your local medicaid office or health dept. They will be able to direct you to the correct people that can help you get the help you need started.