TRIGGER ALERT-What's your...

What is your biggest fear about having Bipolar Disorder?

I have two.

One is Andrea Yates. She had PPD but was also diagnosed as bipolar later. Same as me. I don't have any reason to fear this except that I'm bipolar.

The second is my daughter ending up with a mental illness which is the primary reason I won't have anymore children.

How do you squash your fears?

That I do irreparable damage (psychologically) to my wife and family....and never will be able to keep close relationships going.

I quash this fear by doing what I can to get better....therapy, etc...I hate therapy....but I need to give it a chance.

My last therapist argued with me about the definition of BP1 and BP2 -- I told him 2 was milder (which is my dx) and he disagreed....seriously your a psychologist and you don't know this basic fact.

My biggest fear is that my employer would find out about my mental health issues and it would affect my advancement.

I damaged some people in my life, ones who I dated and cared for. I was well on my way in damaging my daughter until I caught myself making her cry. I do not wish this to happen again.

I'm scared that I will never be able to work again.

I'm also afraid that I could reach a point of no return and commit suicide.

That my son won't ever forgive me for my parenting and that he'll feel that the reason he's not happy is all my fault.

I use to be scared that I'll never work but I've come to terms with that.

1. Psychological damage to my wife and kids.

The more control I have over myself the better off for everyone... I do much better now with my wife then before... alot of that has to do with kids being around.. I'm trying to make that aspect more about her feelings rather then the kids though. .

2. Losing my job...

This is more of a mental hurtle then reality.... odds of losing my job is seriously near 0 but the fact I support my 3 kids and wife by myself (financially). I put way more stress on myself that is completely unnecessary not to mention unhealthy.

I worry about my actions effecting my daughter too. It breaks my heart when she asks me (she's almost 4) "mommy, why are you so happy?" But I'm being treated. I never gave up even though it took 12 years.

I have the suicide one too. Almost succeeded the last time. It just sneaks up on me. One minute I can be laughing, the next my husband is calling an ambulance. That is terrifying, I agree.

That I will do something that will completely alienate everyone around me to the point they will leave me....that's it.

Dude, you totally hit the nail on the head with those -- totally agree (without the kids...I don't have any...).

Thanks

Passing it to my possible children.

Not being strong enough for the thing I wanna do, because I cannot healthily detach myself from anything i do and **** gets to me.

I worry that my bp has affected my children...if I had known I had this disorder before I had kids I may not have had any. But they are my biggest reasons for living and not giving into the darkness

That I'll screw up my son's life. And like Bpnurse that I'll end up committing suicide. I'll never do it on purpose but sometimes I'm not in my right mind...

1. Having a trigger that causes that one and final major episode that I cannot overcome and commit suicide

2. Dementia

That i'll loose myself and destroy everything i care about, and that i will die by suicide. I'm afraid of how dark and intense things can get.

That my husband will die and I will have no one to advocate for and take care of me.

1)I will be alone forever-single.

2)If I did have children...that I would cause them life long suffering by them being bipolar as well.

You know, I've thought about it, and I don't think I'd have gotten married or had children if I'd known I was bipolar back then. The potential for wrecking lives was always there, and the fact that I didn't accomplish it is nothing short of miraculous.

As it is, I have only the one son who I'm sure is bipolar, although his VA doctor won't diagnose him with it; the other three kids are fine. And my husband loves me with every fiber of his being, and takes care of me when I need a keeper. I have been very blessed.

1. That I will never move forward and go into my field because I am scared because I am never stable for very long.

2. Husband will leave, even though he has told me he won't.
3. Someday I will experience psychosis.

That something will happen to separate me and my husband again. See, we both have bipolar, so it attacks and threatens from both directions. It already happened once.

Maybe there are better things to fear, but that's the one that drives me crazy.

1. suicide
2. passing it on to my children

1) hurting my kids psychologically
2) successful suicide
3) losing my job

That i will become poor and homeless again.

My fear is that it will totally ruin my life. That I will complete a suicide attempt and change my kids lives forever

I'm scared that I will go into one of my severe episodes and not come back out of it and be lost forever.