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#1
Sep 20, 2014, 11:06 AM
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 and I feel very sad. My mom didn't make her usual morning phone call to me. Nothing really planned for the day. I feel very teary eyed and down. I turned 55 years old today, and I am so very tired of being ill with this illness. Of being up down and more down. I don't like being this way. Other people are happy on their birthdays. I ruin my own day with my messed up moods. I hate myself. That is all. I just feel very sad. Thanks for listening to my pitty party.
__________________
Bipolar I, C-PTSD Lamictal 400mg, Zyprexa 15mg, Topomax 100mg, Elavil 50mg |
 Anonymous45023, GALAXYGAL, hamster-bamster, manxcatwoman, Pikku Myy, Velouria, ~Christina
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 manxcatwoman
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#2
Sep 20, 2014, 11:16 AM
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Happy Birthday!
 Well it's still morning where you are, right? You're out west, it's 12 p.m. in NY, so it's, what, 9, 10 over there? You still have the whole morning, don't worry. Is there something you've been wanting to do but haven't gotten around to it? Why not try to do that, or do something nice for yourself?
__________________
"Every person, on the foundation of his or her own sufferings and joys, builds for all." ~Albert Camus Cymbalta, 60mg -- for the depression. Latuda, 40mg -- for the paranoia (delusional type). Adderall, 40mg XR & 5 mg reg -- for the ADD. Xanax, .5 mg as needed -- for the anxiety. Topamax, 50mg -- still figuring this one out. MDD, but possibly have some form of Bipolar Disorder. Then again, I could be paranoid . . . Well, at least I still have my sense of humor. 
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| Hopeful Camel, manxcatwoman
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#3
Sep 20, 2014, 11:28 AM
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Thanks. It feels good to have someone make contact and say "happy birthday." I appreciate it so much. And I also appreciate the suggestion of doing something nice for myself. I can do that. You don't know how much your note means to me. Thank you.
__________________
Bipolar I, C-PTSD Lamictal 400mg, Zyprexa 15mg, Topomax 100mg, Elavil 50mg |
| manxcatwoman
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#4
Sep 20, 2014, 11:28 AM
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Happy bday!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| manxcatwoman
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#5
Sep 20, 2014, 11:31 AM
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Happy Birthday!! I agree with the bit about doing something nice for yourself, I think it sounds like a swell idea.
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| Hopeful Camel, manxcatwoman
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#6
Sep 20, 2014, 11:36 AM
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Happy birthday!
I also feel depressed on my birthdays, so you are not alone. I always just want them to be over. It's so much pressure to have a good time. Thinking of you
__________________
"Does the body rule the mind, or does the mind rule the body?" "Those who feel the breath of sadness, sit down next to me. Those feel they're touched my madness, sit down next to me. Those who find themselves ridiculous, sit down next to me." |
| Hopeful Camel, manxcatwoman
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#7
Sep 20, 2014, 11:43 AM
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Happy birthday!
__________________
Dx: Bipolar I, ADD, GAD. Rx: Fluoxetine, Buproprion, Olanzapine, Lamictal, and Strattera. |
| Hopeful Camel, manxcatwoman
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#8
Sep 20, 2014, 11:55 AM
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Quote:
__________________
"Every person, on the foundation of his or her own sufferings and joys, builds for all." ~Albert Camus Cymbalta, 60mg -- for the depression. Latuda, 40mg -- for the paranoia (delusional type). Adderall, 40mg XR & 5 mg reg -- for the ADD. Xanax, .5 mg as needed -- for the anxiety. Topamax, 50mg -- still figuring this one out. MDD, but possibly have some form of Bipolar Disorder. Then again, I could be paranoid . . . Well, at least I still have my sense of humor.
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| manxcatwoman
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#9
Sep 20, 2014, 12:05 PM
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Happy birthday. 55-->5+5=10-->you have just turned a perfect ten!
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| Hopeful Camel, manxcatwoman, Trippin2.0
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#10
Sep 20, 2014, 12:16 PM
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Happy Birthday Hopeful Camel!
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| Hopeful Camel, manxcatwoman
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#11
Sep 20, 2014, 12:50 PM
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 Happy, happy birthday
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| Hopeful Camel, manxcatwoman
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#12
Sep 20, 2014, 01:35 PM
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Hopeful Camel. Hope you turn out to have a good day despite the start of it. I totally concur about the doing something fun for yourself. You know best what you'd find the most enjoyable, so just do it. Maybe it is going exploring someplace... Reading or doing some art… Running around outside blowing bubbles….Pampering yourself with a "spa" day (quotes because it doesn't have to break the bank…. Totally DIY-able...and maybe the perfect chance to actually use some of those hypomanic H&BA purchases(!) ) Whatever it is YOU want. Most importantly, FUN. No guilt, blah obligations or shoulds allowed on Hopeful Camel Day! Happy Hopeful Camel Day! (Btw, not all that far behind you, and I can't stand my birthdays either.) |
| manxcatwoman
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#13
Sep 20, 2014, 01:36 PM
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Thanks, everyone. You all are the best. I feel much better now. Psych Central BP thread folks really are the best. I can feel so down, and there is so much support here. It is wonderful. You all are wonderful. Just helping me change my mood was the best birthday gift I could have received. 
__________________
Bipolar I, C-PTSD Lamictal 400mg, Zyprexa 15mg, Topomax 100mg, Elavil 50mg |
| manxcatwoman
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#14
Sep 20, 2014, 01:42 PM
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Happy Birthday!
It's common for people to get depressed on birthdays and holidays. But that doesn't mean you always have to let it win. Do something nice for yourself!
__________________
DX: Bipolar 1 Panic disorder PTSD GAD OCD Dissociative Disorder RX: Topamax, Xanax, Propranolol |
| manxcatwoman
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#15
Sep 20, 2014, 01:58 PM
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I too ruin any good occasion because my expectations are often unrealistic
but happy birthday! You can definitely still/are? Make it a great day!
__________________
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel... it's just a freight train coming your way. |
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#16
Sep 20, 2014, 02:01 PM
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Happy happy birthday. You know, I am 55 too and it is a bit tough for a lot of reasons. Things are changing in my life and it takes a lot of adjustment. I lost my mother-in-law and she would always call and sing to me. I miss that. If you're bored, come over and read on the blog. Would love to have you. Leave me a comment that you are the birthday girl and we can chat over there.
__________________
Lamictal Rexulti Wellbutrin Xanax XR .5 Xanax .25 as needed |
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#17
Sep 20, 2014, 02:20 PM
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Happy Born Day!!!
:happybirthday: I hope your exercise in healthy hedonism lifts your mood considerably, you deserve to have a fantastic day, and so what if you have to personally see to it being fantastic! Outcome is the same
__________________
 DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD  "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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#18
Sep 20, 2014, 02:25 PM
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Happy birthday, Hopeful Camel! I hope you will feel better soon. May this birthday be your last painful one.
I dislike my birthdays a lot. I don't want attention, but I don't want it to be like a normal day either. It's very stressful. I want to disappear somewhere I like, be alone doing what I want and have myself totally removed from this world for that single day. Again, happy Camel day
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| manxcatwoman
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#19
Sep 20, 2014, 02:43 PM
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Quote:
It's not necessarily true that other people are happy on their birthdays, my dear. Why count on others to make it a good day for you ? Why not do something special for yourself ? Get a manicure, pedicure, massage ? Buy yourself new clothes or shoes ? Treat yourself ! My bday was a week ago, and I couldn't care less that I turned 31. The 30th bday last year was much worse. |
| manxcatwoman
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#20
Sep 20, 2014, 02:57 PM
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 Happy Birthday, fellow Virgo! Mine is tomorrow. I guess that means we were born on the upper cusp of Virgo. A few more days and we would have been Libras. I can't think of being anything other than a Virgo though. As far as mood, it always feels a little bittersweet near my birthday because it doesn't seem like anyone I know really cares. I don't know what I expect though. Anyway, I'm going to force myself to do something tomorrow. It doesn't bother me to buy my own cake and presents. |
| Anonymous200145, Hopeful Camel
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| Hopeful Camel
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#21
Sep 20, 2014, 03:13 PM
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Happy birthday for tomorrow, manxcatwoman
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#22
Sep 20, 2014, 03:56 PM
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Happy Birthday
I am not a fan of mine at all .... But I indulge in something sinful usually includes chocolate and a Mani and Pedi or massage etc. Do anything that makes you happy unless it will end in jail and if so just make sure you have bail money 
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| Hopeful Camel
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#23
Sep 20, 2014, 05:56 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Bipolar I, C-PTSD Lamictal 400mg, Zyprexa 15mg, Topomax 100mg, Elavil 50mg |
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#24
Sep 20, 2014, 06:05 PM
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Happy Birthday! Treat yourself to a simple pleasure like a bubble bath and soothing music, OR order Pizza turn up the music and dance the night away
__________________
Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of nature. And that is because, in the last analysis, we ourselves are a part of the mystery that we are trying to solve ~ Max Planck |
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#25
Sep 20, 2014, 06:06 PM
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Happy birthday!!! I hope you've heard from your mom today. If not then know yr loved by us around here. I'm sick to death with this illness too so yr not alone in that at all. I've just started a new med and I'm slowly moving out of the darkness. I hope you'll feel better soon! Maybe you need to see yr pdoc for a med adjustment? Sometimes meds stop working and we have to adjust to something different. That's what I had to do and I'm feeling so much better. I wish the same for you honey. Much love and hugs
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| Hopeful Camel
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