[JigssawFeeling]

Hello everyone, this is my first post in any kind of mental health forum. I've read these forums quite a lot when seeking information etc. but never actually decided to participate. Well here I am, because I'm kinda fed up and would like to get some opinions from people who could maybe relate.

My main issue is, since like first month into starting Lamictal (first med I've ever been on, after anti-depressants made me feel very weird to put it shortly), I've started to feel very different. I don't really know if it's just me changing or if it's the drug.. The difference is that I think I've lost my impulsivity and spontaneousity and all those LETS GO HELL YES feelings I had for what seems my whole life. It's hard to describe really, all in all I think I've lost my 'hypomania' and it's making me down, because as far as I've read, noone seems to have that problem, infact some people have hypomania without depression, on Lamictal.

I have lost the intensity and duration of my depression also, which is really great. I still feel though as if I've lost my character, or like it's fading every day. I feel like I was more human before, with those intense feelings, I could pour my heart out into writings and paintings and whatnot, whereas now when I do that stuff I don't feel that person with what I put out. I also seem to miss times when I could a really funny person, my mind would pick up random things and the funsies came out like a machinegun; something trivial it might sound, but I miss it..

I could say the medication is working as intended, my life overall has really improved because it's also taken away my anxiety issues and my head feels a lot more clear (except sometimes when I just get dizzy and spaced out for days for an unknown reason) and I really feel more of an adult (I'm 20 years old btw.) compared to the past.

Anyways, if anyone has cared to read through this seemingly pointless rant, I am grateful. Yeah. Having one of those dizzy days...

[Cocinella]

Jigssaw hello,

I have pretty much the same problem as you have. I've been on Lamictal since mardch this year and then 3 months ago I added Abilify. But lately I started to feel melancholic, like you said, like I'm not the same person I once were.

I am energetic, optimistic, full of determination and positive thinking. Now I practicly feel sad, empty, without true energy (like you said, LETS GO HELL YES feeling)...

So I went to see my pdoc today and she said it might be Lamictal causing this (at least in my case), cus it's making you...um...flat? YOu might consider again if this is the right med for you. But I can see some of my story in yours.

Wish you well...

[JigssawFeeling]

Thanks for replying Cocinella, sad to hear how it's making you feel like that, has it been so constantly? And how did your pdoc explain the Lamictal cause of it? I don't really feel flat at all times, I'm still mostly positive, but I don't have those days I used to just dance to songs in my room and do everything as if I was in a hurry.

I also would like to add that I'm not even sure I have Bipolar disorder, because my pdoc initally did diagnose me with depression (after a failed suicide attempt), but after she switched me to Lamictal and quit the antidepressant, she hasn't told me about any kind of further diagnosis, nor have I really asked because of how I guess I don't want to care. The only reason I guessed I was BP was when I read Lamictal is used for BP. I've always suspected I had it, but now I'm more and more sure that this stuff people who actually have the disorder is not what I'm really about, maybe I just have that kind of personality... and now I seem to have grown up..

[Cocinella]

Yes Jigssaw, lately it's constant. Well my pdoc said i might be on too many meds. Since my "illness" isn't so strong, i don't need much meds. then she also said maybe Lamictal isn't the right med for me. there are a lot of possible options and only time and trying less Lamictal or new med's will tell what my body needs.

well as for depression or anxiety is like this. if the AD makes you manic, then it can be BP. if it helps, then it's not BP. at least that's how i understand it. this was my case. AD made me manic so my pdoc knew i have a mood disorder but i dont have bp but cyclothimia, which is a milder form of BP or something, very rare stuff.

don't self diagnose yourself. ask your pdoc what you have, what kinnda problems, i know i would like to know what i have...but its your call of course.

wish you best of luck

p.s. yup it's all in the personality so smile

[Trippin2.0]

Flat effect was a huge deciding factor that lead to me dumping my meds.


No, I'm definitely not suggesting you quit yours, just trying to convey how much I absolutely hated my watered down version of life while medicated.


I mean at first it was FANTASTIC!

My mind was quiet, I was calmer, but in the end I didn't recognize myself and didn't like that version of me one bit.


Guess it was just way too unfamiliar, I've been "extreme" my whole life, suddenly finding myself in the middle caused a huge identity crisis and fuelled my self-loathing, which I certainly didn't need as I already struggle with these issues due to my BPD...


Anyway, I didn't mean to ramble, just wanted you to know I get it. And as mentioned above, speak to your pdoc about this, hopefully they're the helpful sort and will see that you find your passion once more.

[Cocinella]

Trippin I totally agree with you

[~Christina]

Your not getting a "Bipolar diagnosis" isnt really important at this point..Trust me you dont want saddled with the Bipolar label unless you really are. I see alot of people with just Depression being put on Lamictal now a days.

If you feel flat or snowed under by all means speak up and tell your Pdoc. Maybe you are on to high a dose or maybe you need something else or maybe you can learn coping skills and handle life med free .. Who knows .. You have many options dont get discouraged.

Welcome to PC