Should I try for grad school? Advice please!

Hey everyone,
I'm sort of at a crossroads right now. I've really struggled with bipolar over the last few years, and it lost me my scholarship and set me behind in my undergraduate studies. Now I'm panicking. I don't think I can get a good job with just a BA in Psychology, and I'm scared about paying for it and wondering if it's worth it. I'm wondering if I should drop and go into a nursing or child development program, where I know I can get a job. But I also have a burning desire to learn. I've always wanted to pursue psychology. I wish I could be a doctor. But I don't know if I'm healthy enough to get through graduate school. I don't know if I can handle the loans. I don't know if the loans are worth it. I don't know if I'd even make it. I'm so stressed and frustrated and I don't know what to do. I want the advice of others with bipolar. How did you handle school? How did you enter the job force? How are you handling your lives? I'm just so confused and tired and I don't understand how people manage to live comfortably, let alone be successful..

Hi there!

I don't have much time to respond right now, but I did want to send you a quick message to let you know that I too am bipolar (recently diagnosed but had "issues" for many years) and have a Masters, will have a PhD within a year, and may be going for a second Masters after that. What really helped me is figuring out that I shouldn't be afraid to ask for help, and I built up a good treatment team that I know I can rely on. So it's definitely possible, you just have to take care of yourself and have a good support network. I'll write more later, just wanted to send you some encouragement right away!

Oh and also, many PhD programs are free .

I made it through grad school. For me - it was easier to go to grad school than search for a job after undergrad. Grad school worked well for me because I could set my own schedule. I don't know how other grad programs go but in mine I didn't have to take any classes if I didn't want to - just had pass several very difficult exams. I must admit - my hypo mania helped me get through parts because I didn't sleep for periods of time so I could study for hours at a time. But the depressive periods would set me back. Luckily my advisor was oblivious at times and had been hospitalized for mental illness in the past so he could relate to my situation.

For me - grad school was free. If it hadn't of been free then I would not have gone. But that's just who I am - I cannot mentally handle the emotional stress of loans. Of course millions of people do just fine with having student loans it just depends on the person.

There were periods that were extremely hard for me - those made he go back to therapy but I think all would have gone much better if I would have stayed in therapy the whole time.

And just for reference - I have a BS in Nuclear Engineerin/Physics and a MA and PhD in Physics from an Ivy League school - so it's definitely possible. Just a lot of hard work on making sure you take care of yourself. I also had my husband there for me to keep me going.

Oh - and in case it matters, I have BP II

Hi Rayne-- I feel ya! Take a deep breath (that always helps) and I'll give you my 2 cents worth. I'm also BP2 and have been symptomatic for 43 years.

You're stressed and tired and frustrated and confused. You're also worrying about issues way beyond whether or not to change majors.

The thing you have to decide is whether to finish your degree in psychology or change majors. My advice would be to focus on that decision, and let the rest be. Things have a way of working out, and life's always full of twists and turns, even for folks w/o mental illness. And you can't make that decision effectively in the headspace you're in now, so talk to people and keep posting here. Your school should have a free counseling program for undergrads.

If you do change majors you'll be a lot more employable in the short run. Consider these factors: you want a job you can enjoy and feel fulfilled in. If child development or nursing would supply that, it's all to the good. Secondly, if you get a degree in one of those you can always go to grad school and work on a Masters in psych later. Finally (and most obviously) changing majors means joining the work force sooner rather than later.

Work. I've never been able to hold a job longer than 4 years, so keep that in mind. I was most successful teaching high school, because it was rewarding and structured. The structure really helped with being able to work. I taught for about 11 years altogether, with two breaks in between.

The financial cost of graduate school is considerable. I was in grad school from 94 to 99, didn't finish my PhD, and am WAY sunk with debt from student loans. If you can get a TA-ship or outside work, it would be a lot easier financially.

Grad school was pretty enjoyable for me, but then I've always loved teaching and learning. My symptoms were minimal during grad school, which was nice. The main thing to remember about grad school is that it's very stressful and very time consuming. But I'd say it's also very worthwhile if you want the advanced degree and concomitant employment possibilities.

Now take another deep breath. I know everything's crazy for you right now, but this too shall pass. Focus on one thing at a time, and realize that whichever decision you make it won't be the end of the world. Believe me on that one!

I hope my ramblings are at least somewhat helpful. I empathize with your situation and am sending positive energy your way.

all the best,
Randy

Kiddo, yours was one of the posts that convinced me to sign in to this forum. I found myself in something like your position about twenty years ago. I'll be honest with you, ultimately, my plans didn't work out. But I was in a dead-end field at a bad time. You, on the other hand, are in a good field at a great time. Grad school is not a breeze, but your BP is not a handicap, trust me. If you have the skills, BP will not hold you back. And, if anything, as several others have already noted, it might actually be an advantage at times because the mania can give you a leg up when you need it. Sad but true. It worked for me. Yes, the down times can be distressful, and having to keep up the grades (no C's allowed!) can be a struggle. But you be straightforward with you profs. Tell them who you are and what you are dealing with. Just don't be a whiner and don't be a coward. The money is a sincere drag. But, again, there are ways to handle it, especially in your field, and especially if you do the right research up front on where to go and how to get the right financing. And pray for Democrats to win a lot of elections. Soon. Then things will get cheaper. Maybe. Just make the decision to do it and don't worry about the job. Leave that for later. You can get the psych degree, now, and get a job as a nurse, if necessary, later. Or become a world famous psychiatrist. Or both. But get the degree, if you can. That's what's important. Get the degree if you can. My two cents. And, because I got the degree, that's about all I'd have right now, if not for my God-blessed wife, so caveat emptor, kiddo. (She got the degree, too, though, so there!) And I didn't even have meds or treatment while I was in grad school. In fact, I didn't even know I was BP. So, you have a leg or two up. If you've you got the brains, go for it.

I have bp II. And I have a BA in education, BS in special education, AA in Ed and international business, MS in clinical mental health with several post grad cents. You can do this if you want. While in school I do great. I am constantly attending course work and extending my education. As for student loans, yup. Have them out the ears! I am on the payment plan. Pay ten percent of salary for twenty years and it will be forgiven after that. I was so stressed out thinking about that for some time then I realized, what can they do to me that I have not done to myself already. If you are like me and seems many of us here, you will do fine and the schooling could be good. One day, one thing at a time. There seems to always be an answer to barriers if we look. Give yourself credit, bp does not mean we are not able, we are. Thoughts and best wishes!

I agree with the folks who said "go for it." My dx is cyclothymia, which is not as severe as bp. I have struggled a lot in my life, however I always did well in school and have a master's degree. I do have student loans, but my income is 3 times what I made with just my BA. BA in English, not very lucrative.

I wanted to add that I think it might be easier to go ahead and go for the master's in psychology, rather than changing your mind later and trying to switch careers. Once you're out in the work world and have your life and home set up, might be more difficult to disrupt that. I stole this from somewhere but I can't remember where: once you're in a career, you're in the golden handcuffs. You're paying for your home, car, maybe raising kids. You'll have a lot more expenses than you do now and be accustomed to your lifestyle. It is definitely possible to go back later and switch careers, I just think it is easier to start out in the one you want.

Best of luck!!

Thanks everyone. I know bipolar isn't a handicap, just sometimes it feels like one. It was never really bad for me until the past couple of years, and I'm just having a really hard time dealing with everything. I've always been a terrible decision maker. I agonize over them. I panic, get terrified, and freeze. I just want to decide and know that it's RIGHT, you know?

I do know, Rayne. And the tough part is there are no guarantees in life, which is why making decisions can be so tough. There's know way to KNOW a decision is right. We just have to make the best decisions we can, and live with the consequences.

Hi Rayne,

I wish you much success as you navigate this decision. I am currently completing an MA program. I would encourage you to make sure that your bipolar is well managed before beginning any graduate program. I would not recommend using the highs of manic periods to push through work, etc. nor would I suggest that the less structured schedule of a full-time grad student (as compared to a 9-to-5er) should provide a haven for someone with bipolar.

This is my second time around in grad school. My first attempt in the early 90s I dropped out just shy of completion, unable to begin my thesis due to an episode of depression. I intended to return. I did not. I lost a lot of money, effort, and time, and the feelings of failure still haunt me. Years later, I started all over, only to again be plagued by the ups and down of my bipolar disorder (that was still being misdiagnosed and therefore not correctly treated). I start/stopped a couple of different programs before finally committing to one (during a hypomanic period), then a depression episode hit. I was eventually granted a retroactive leave of absence, by providing medical documentation of my (now correctly diagnosed, treated, and stabilized bipolar) but even though I was allowed to resume my studies I am having to re-pay for several classes that I had failed to complete. In other words, I am repeating work that was done previously AND paying for the class a second time just to gain the needed credit. I have been trying to complete this current degree for over 5 years now. Working on my thesis has been painfully hard. I am pretty certain that I have had cognitive degeneration from several episodes of mania over the years. Things that were once easy now seem so difficult. Also, my word recall is sometimes poor, probably a result of my Topamax Dx. My professors all think I am VERY flakey and I doubt that if I needed a recommendation for a doctoral program that there would be anyone comfortable to provide one, and I don't blame them... the only consistency they have seen from me is that my work habits are very inconsistent. If I could complete work around my moods and energy level, grad school would probably go much more smoothly... but it doesn't work that way, unfortunately.

I certainly don't think being bipolar should stop anyone from going for their masters or PhD! But I want to strongly, strongly encourage you to make sure that you in a very stable, good place before you begin your program. There will be many stressors and potential triggers. I also think that the more stable you are before you begin the better your decision-making will be regarding which exact choice of program is right for you. I can't tell you how many false starts I have had in my academic career, and looking back (hindsight is 20/20) it is because I was usually hypomanic or manic when I was making those big life decisions.

I hope sharing this is somewhat helpful.

Whatever you do, don't go into nursing. No matter what the recruiters and schools tell you, there is NO nursing shortage, and new grads are going months or even a year or more after they pass their boards before finding jobs. Not only that, you need a BS in nursing at minimum even to get work in a hospital, and a master's if you want to be in management. Working conditions are very harsh and stressful, with ridiculous nurse-to-patient ratios, long hours, and poor treatment by patients, families, and managers.....not the best environment for someone with bipolar.

I'm not saying that you can't do it, just that it's not a good career choice at this point in time. Some states also make you disclose your diagnosis when you apply for licensure, and then put you in a monitoring program with addicts and nurses who have diverted drugs, which is not only humiliating but costly and it limits your choice of jobs. Trust me, it's not worth it.