How would you react?

If you found out your husband or wife went and seen an attorney 7 months ago about legal seperation and you just found out about today.. I'm pissed to put it lightly. How would you react?

So sorry this is happening to you! It's such a betrayal when a spouse reveals they are not committed to your partnership after all. My ex-husband surprised me with a divorce. I realized i didn't know him at all -- we had just spent a lot of time together. Feel free to ask for suppport. I'm here for you and i'm sure others are as well.

With considerable dismay - lack of trust and openness, uncertain future, confusion.

I am so sorry that took place. I can relate completely. To this day I have trouble trusting females (sorry girls). My wife waited till I went to work, sent constables in to serve me papers. No clue or idea. When left for work she hugged, kissed, and was very sexual. Five hours later, being accused of lots of crap I would never do in my life. That caused great stress and even PTSD. Sounds dumb, but I was hit broad side and everything I thought I knew and had was gone in seconds. Homeless, moneyless, all gone. Long stupors short, five court cases, won all, got nothing from it though. Have not seen my children for long time due to her desire to stress her desire. She is an addict and alcoholic and was angry when her secrete relationship was exposed. All manipulated and planned. I will pray for ya and hope it turns out better then my case.

Right or wrong, I think the sooner you see an attorney, the better. Hope he/she is a good one.

Hope it never happens to me. How can these people come out of the blue to do such a thing, unless they were abusive.

Okay, she consulted an attorney. Is she wanting to end the marriage now? or was it a thought 7 months ago?

It was 7 months ago.. she said it was just about legal seperation only.. but I'm not believing that. I don't trust her at all now. She kept this from me for 7 months. . I told her today I don't even want to see her face... I'm so pissed honestly

Well if you were acting batshyt crazy back then, I can understand her need to find options... Of course this hurts you and I would be angry also.. How did you find out ? or did she tell you about it?

We got into a big argument and she threw that in my face

Oh dear, I hate when people fling things from history into the present.

Maybe once things calm down you two can sit down and discuss it all ? The thing is its okay to fight but you both need to learn to "fight fair" Is Couples Therapy a option?

My husband could not understand how Bipolar could cause me so many problems until my T talked to him bluntly about it. Has your wife tried to get a good picture of your illness?

We've been I couples therapy for 2 years now.

A good picture 9 my illness? Nope. She looks concerned but gives me 0 sympathy or any care as to what it's like. She believe it or not uses it to play the victim card in couples therapy... and the therapist plays right along with her and feels so sorry for her.. make me want to puke

Same T for 2 years? If you feel the T is favoring your wife all the time , then its time for a new T. A good T can see through the nonsense and see things as they are...

Sounds like you and her are not happy in the relationship...I guess it boils down to are you both going to save the marriage or would you both be happier apart ?

We have 3 kids and I don't want to pay 350 a week for child support... actually what I would do is quit my job.. always have felt she only is here for the money if we break it off she's not getting a check to live off weekly. Not happening.. that's basically what she does now.. she gives me nothing... literally nothing. Haven't had sex in 14 months.. before that it was using me to get pregnant.. figured that out after she got pregnant.

She's a trifling b right now in my head. Told her after she.told me she seen an attorney I told her to go straight to hell.. I'm sick.. pissed. And hurt over this

Yeah I'd pretty much be upset and somewhat angry if I found out 7 months down the line. Likely that she got triggered mentally during your argument that resurfaced the memories and feelings she had 7 months ago when considering legal separation. That to me sounds like an act of desperation. Forgive me if I'm wrong but im thinking legal separation is separate from divorce in which case she was probably thinks ng about time out before making a permanent decision either way. We can be real difficult people to live with.

If need be find a new couples therapy and make sure you're seeing your own T too to deal with your own issues.

So you would stay in a unhealthy relationship so you wont have to pay child support ?

Heres the deal, we Bipolar folks have a hard time being stable under the best of conditions right? but living in a hellish relationship that looks hopeless and no mutual respect to be found... How is staying there going to help you?

My husband had 3 boys when we got together. Him and his Ex shared the kids and activities 50/50 There was no need for child support.

OH HELL NO!!
Do you mean before or after I set everything he owned on fire?

Pretty sure since my wife is imo staying for the money she will take everything she can get... funny story though. If i quit she can't get my money and no one gets over on me so I totally would even if it's a really good high paying job... screw her

SHE brought this up in an argument? You weren't sent any papers or anything?

I would flip a lid, and cause the divorce.

Look into your states current laws regarding child support and alimony if that applies usually depends on lenght of marriage .. I know here in my state if child support isnt paid for 3 months they will suspend your drivers license if it goes past 6 months its jail time...

She looked into "her" options, You need to do the same.

Welp she left. Staying with her parents.. shes meeting with a councelor. I live in indiana.. pretty brutal state on men for divorce. Good stuff. She said she's using this time to seek help for herself. I told her if I don't see actual real life changes I want a divorce. Said more then that but that's the short version